


Rules of Friendship

by Secretlover



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Choices, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Jealousy, bestfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2019-12-30 05:12:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 63,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18308873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secretlover/pseuds/Secretlover
Summary: THE RULES of friendship should be pretty standard really. You should never, and I repeat, never fall in love with your best friend. That shit can quickly spiral into the disaster zone where you’re suddenly left with a raging hard-on and one hell of an awkward mess on your hands, literally.





	1. "Rude boy"

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Again!!

**JON**

**_THE RULES_** of friendship should be pretty standard really. You should never, and I repeat, never fall in love with your best friend. That shit can quickly spiral into the disaster zone where you’re suddenly left with a raging hard-on and one hell of an awkward mess on your hands, literally. 

Then the guilt hits. Guilt over the fact that you’ve just had dirty, and I do mean the filthy kind of dirty, thoughts of your said best friend while pleasing yourself. Trust me. It leaves a feeling in you that is hard to accept, only managing to trigger more thoughts of your best friend. In most cases, in these thoughts, she’s wearing something very skimpy and alluring that only starts the cycle all over again and repeats a few times or more like one hundred times. 

_Just friends._ Yes it is a continuous phrase I have to repeat in my head. Day after day, night after night, especially when Daenerys walks around our apartment in these tiny, tight, pitiful excuse for shorts. You know what makes it even worse? She matches these micro shorts with a sports bra thing that she owns in various colors. Yes, I said sports bra, as in a next to fucking nothing, open and crisscrossed in the back, hugging-her-perfect-tits-to-perfection, sports bra. 

I do believe that somewhere along the lines, those damned things were merely a creation to make guys like me miserable. Guys like me, as in he who stares at his best friend thinking all types of dirty thoughts when he shouldn’t be looking at all. Yes. That creep posing as a bestie is me. Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Jon Snow, a/k/a perverted faulty friend. 

I spend most of my time hiding my body’s reaction because, like I said, just friends. 

I’ve known her since I was two. At one point in our lives we took baths together. _What I wouldn’t give to take a bath together now._ We played throughout our childhood, and have always been a side by side package deal. Where one was, the other would be, but it was never more than best friends. 

Rescue missions set forth to save us when we found ourselves trapped in dates from hell, that was and is us. When we played hooky from school or work, we’d make up stories for the other; you know to make things more believable. She has always been the person I call on whenever I need a favor. She, in turn, has done the same. 

Daenerys and I never had a problem being us—being friends—when we were together. There was no need to pretend. We were great being us and we accepted one another, faults and all. She’d always been like one of the guys, someone I’d confide in, and someone who would confide in me. There’s never been a problem with crossing over the line of friend zone territory. _Until now._ Now all I can see when I look at her are those full lips of hers. I can’t help but feel this uncontrollable rush when she looks at me for just a second too long. 

Lately, seeing her, sharing a space with her . . . hell . . . breathing the same damn air as her, leaves me confused and half the time pissed off. It’s never bothered me before to hear her talk about guys; it was just a natural flow between us. Now, each time I hear her go on about a guy and her thoughts, it turns my stomach. The rolling, clenching, full-on stomach tension is in full effect. 

Things have changed. We have changed. _But do you want to know the worst part? She doesn’t fucking see it._ It is the ugliest form of torture, and I am not sure how much longer I’ll be able to hold my shit together. I’m hanging or more like tenting by the thread of my pants here. I’ve got to lock up these dirty thoughts and keep my eyes looking the other way before I cave and do something that will cost me my best friend. _I’m so damn screwed._

 

* * *

 

 

**DAENERYS**

 

“RUB MY FEET,” Jon says, placing his feet in my lap. He is lounging on the couch, shirtless might I add, in only his boxers. I should tell him to get dressed but I don’t because hello great view. It would only trigger an inquisition as to why Jon being only half dressed bothers me so much. The truth is that it just weakens my sense of control. Do you understand how hard it is for me not to tackle him and blur the lines of friendship? _Simply excruciating._

“Rub your own feet.” I push at his legs, and they don’t budge. 

“Defeats the purpose of relaxing,” he says, wiggling his toes in my lap, and I glare at him. 

“They stink,” I retort, still refusing to rub his feet. Instead, I keep my hands at my sides, staring ahead at the television. 

“My feet don’t stink,” Jon replies, lifting one foot in the air. Before I can stop him, he places his foot behind my head, pinning me securely between his parted legs. Leave it to me, Ms. Oblivious, to turn and look directly at the space I shouldn’t. Quickly I close my eyes tight, willing them not to look, as he chuckles at my reaction. Please, please take away the knowledge of him knowing I was checking out his . . . well . . . perfect package. 

I open one eye, peeking at Jon, who is grinning proudly. _Damn it. He so caught me_. My cheeks feel hot, and my palms begin sweating. He is the only person who can unnerve me so quickly. 

His movements are quick as he pushes his leg behind me down further, securing behind my back. Suddenly, he pins me in a scissor hold, beaming with pride, knowing he now has me at his mercy. 

“The purpose of this?” I ask, refusing to look at him directly in the eyes. Let’s face it, if my eyes meet his right now, he will see right through me without a doubt. I am also trying to concentrate on something other than what is running through my mind like delicious Jon thoughts. 

Thoughts that have grown more persistent, images of Jon hovering over me, panting and—I shake my head, willing it to stop thinking dirty Jon thoughts, and feel the heat rising in my neck once again. It feels like a raging inferno, suddenly making it harder to breathe evenly. 

There are rules of being best friends with guys. One being, don’t ever picture them naked. Oh my god, if you do, and they are as good looking and fit as my best friend, let me warn you now. _You are so screwed._ And not in the pleasurable kind of way. I’m referring to being tortured, teased and taunted, the sexual frustration that _BOB_ . . . you know . . . the _battery operated boyfriend_ that has to satisfy even though it’s not the same as the real deal. A vibrator can solve the immediate issue, but when you lust after a guy, you shouldn’t the cycle begin’s all over again. 

“The purpose of this is to hold you hostage until you agree to rub my feet.” I look over at Jon and for a minute, wondering what in the hell he is talking about. That is until I remember asking him why he was holding me hostage. “Last night was crazy and long and exhausting. We had more calls come in last night than we have all week combined. So those are reasons enough for you to give me a rub down.” 

_Seriously? Rub down?_ Did he have to say it like that? Because now I imagine him lying before me, my hands oily and fully prepared to rub him everywhere, my palms gliding over his body, exploring and—. _Damn it!_ I shake my head to clear my dirty thoughts. Again. He has to think by now I have some weird tick that makes me shift my head at odd times and involuntarily. 

Jon works for fire and rescue in Kings Landing, and I won’t tell him this because he’ll let it go to his head, but he is a hero. Jon defines hero. He has the biggest heart, and the dedication he has toward the safety of others only makes me love the man he is even more. Jon puts on a good show because he has to hold on to that tough man persona, but on the inside, the guy is the sweetest ever. I am lucky enough to see the adorable side hidden behind the jerk he pretends to be. 

Sometimes I wish he wasn’t the only man who’s ever made me feel safe. It would be so much easier to find Mr. Right. Jon Snow can’t be Mr. Mine though. He’s my best friend, the guy I should never want to sleep with, or kiss and snuggle with on the couch. Those very things are off limits. He’s off limits. Just tell that to my body, particularly my heart that can’t stop beating for this man. 

My phone rings from somewhere in the kitchen, and as I try to get up, he squeezes me tighter. “Jon, let go.” He doesn’t even budge as I push at him. “Move.” He shakes his head, silently telling me no. “It’s Missandei.” 

“Why do girls do that?” 

“Do what?” I ask in an annoyed tone. 

“Label each person in their contact list by a specific ringtone?” 

The ringing stops, and shortly after a beep follows, indicating she left a message.

“I don’t have everyone labeled, just those I care to talk to.” I cross my arms over my chest, still refusing to give in to his demands and rub his feet. 

“What’s my ringtone?” I ignore his question but feel my stomach tense. “Because I know you wanna talk to me, so you gotta have something particular.” I can’t even remember what I have for his at the moment; it changes often based on how I feel about him at the time. “Why do you suddenly look panicked?” 

“I don’t,” I say entirely too fast, so fast that he knows I am trying to fib my way through the situation immediately. “It’s just a regular tone because you aren’t on my preferred list.” I shrug, trying to play it off as if that were possible. This is the guy who knows me better than I know myself. 

Jon stretches his arms above his head, and it appears as if he is in search of something on the coffee table, only furthering my discomfort or should I say panic. I attempt to move again and find I am still pinned securely between his legs, even tighter than before. 

“Let me just see for myself.” He brings his hands back over the arm of the couch, now holding his phone. 

I lunge my body in the direction of his, and he moves his phone out to the side. “What’s the freak out for, Daenerys?” He opens his address book, and there my name appears listed at the top as his emergency contact. I bite the inside of my cheek and hold my breath as he hits send. 

The seconds that pass feel like hours. 

“What’s that saying?” Jon asks, and I feel my stomach tighten to the point of pain. Maybe I can play this off. I mean . . . not everyone is a music analyst like myself. I love the songs with hidden meanings. They are my addiction. 

“Rude Boy,” I say almost too quickly without looking away from him. His brows wrinkle in confusion as he leans his upper body toward the kitchen a little further, trying his best to understand the words. Words that if he pays too much attention to he may, in fact, get the meaning I don’t want him to follow. Words that will reveal too much. 

“Rude,” he says and pauses, arching a brow, as he stares at me, “boy?” 

Words of getting it up mingle with the tone. Being a captain and a rider, oh my hell could it get any worse? I have to think fast. “I also have one that I switch off and on that’s titled, _‘the asshole song.’_ ” My voice shakes with nervous energy, and I hope he doesn’t notice. I’m just thankful that my phone is so far away it makes hearing the words almost impossible. I have to change that ringer and never put that or anything else sexual as a label to Jon. Because that ringer and song are so far from friend zone. 

But in my defense, I never thought he’d hear it. I mean, come on? How often is he standing next to me while calling me? Like never. 

“The asshole song?” He narrows his eyes as he attempts to glare at me, which makes me laugh. 

“You are such an asshole at times,” I declare with a playful shrug, still doing my best to detour him away from the Rhianna song I know he is still questioning. 

“Like when?” He asks, finally lowering his phone and forgetting all about the song that is playing. 

“Like when you worked long hours, and you found we were out of Lucky Charms.” He still seems extremely unimpressed. “Or when you grabbed my girly shampoo instead of your own in the shower and squeezed it onto your hair.” Still nothing. “How about last month when you took home that girl from the bar? After a quick blow job, you booted her out as if she were nothing more than a two-dollar whore.” 

He flinches at that one and has the gall to look embarrassed. “I got the girl a cab.” 

“As if that makes it any better.” 

We share a silent standoff, and something unrecognizable passes over his face before he quickly releases the hold he’s had on me and climbs off the couch. “You act like I’m some dickish whore who mistreats women or something.” 

I hurry after him, worrying that I’ve offended him in my desperate attempt to hide the fact that I have a sexually referenced song as an indicator of my best friend’s calls. Not that the song doesn’t fit my best friend who is definitely sexy. Built to perfection, light brown hair and the most gorgeous brown eyes, a walking dream. It was a dumb choice after a night of drinking with Missandei. I’d decided then that it fit my mood, but I now suddenly regret that choice. I was drunk and horny, and it was Jon who starred in a fantasy I couldn’t seem to control. Who am I kidding? Truth: He’s been the star in many of my fantasies lately. It was and is so wrong. I know this, but it doesn’t stop me from wondering: What if? What it would feel like for him to touch me, taste me, to— 

“Rude boy is about a guy and girl getting it on.” I skid to a stop at the end of the counter and look up to find Jon with his eyes glued to his phone in disbelief. “It says here, that she’s talking about the guy being able to get hard and she’s challenging him to get her off because she isn’t gonna fake it.” 

My face has to be fifty shades of red because I feel like it is on fire. 

“What?” I tilt my head to the side and do my best to play a dumb, oblivious girl at that moment. I fake surprise, shock maybe, or that is what I’m hoping he will buy and then drop it because holy awkward. 

“Sex, Daenerys,” he repeats as he turns his phone around for me to read it. “All the lyrics are a sexual rendezvous between the girl and that rude boy.” Again I have nothing. Nothing but a fireball-looking face of mortification. No means to help myself dig out of this hole. “Did you know that?” 

“No.” I lie, hoping he’ll believe me as I wrinkle up my nose, faking disgust. “I thought it was Rhianna making fun of some guy. To be honest, I saw that title and thought that it was just that: a rude boy. The wording alone describes you to a T; I guess I ignored the rest of the wording.” 

He doesn’t seem convinced as he observes me. I just made things a little more complicated between the two of us.


	2. "You're my Dream too.."

**JON**

 

“SECURE HER NECK,” I hold on to the woman we’d found at the bottom of the stairs as we enter the building. Theon carefully places the neck brace beneath her shoulders and gently repositions it before strapping it securely. Theon is a rookie, only five days on the job. He is still nervous and wet behind the ears, but in all honesty, he has a knack for the job. I can already see it in him that he’s fast to respond, ready to secure the area without a second thought. 

“Assess the obvious injuries,” I say aloud more for him than me as a reminder of the next step. I can do this job in my sleep, though I remember being new and nervous once, so helping him feels right. 

“Head wounds above the left brow and across left cheek. Obvious signs of a break to her left wrist and possibly her right ankle.” Just then, Tormund steps up to our side with Robb and places the body board next to the woman. 

“The call came through about an hour ago, and the woman was frantic,” Robb states, kneeling at my side. “There’s no fire, J, just a man that thinks it’s okay to abuse a woman.” 

My stomach tenses at the idea of what this poor girl has endured. 

“This is more of a rescue mission,” he adds. Part of working for KL Fire and Rescue means that not only are we responsible for fires and securing buildings during a terrifying time, but we sometimes are needed to act as EMTs too. Our current situation is one of these times. 

I love my job—the adrenaline rush, the protecting and rescuing—as it’s the best type of feeling I’ve ever felt. But these types of calls, they are always hard. I can’t even imagine hitting a woman. Hell, I feel terrible enough whenever Daenerys and I argue, though most times she is the instigator. That girl can hold her own for sure and has no qualms of standing up for whatever she believes in or is passionate about at that moment. Daenerys is fiery in most senses except one, her mother’s death was her weakness and the sadness of her father. 

It never fails. Whenever I have moments like these, I always think of her. The thought of someone hurting her at any point in time enrages me, leading to me vowing never to allow her to ever be in this type of situation. I’ve always been protective of Daenerys. While we grew up, our mothers had always referred to the connection between us as sweet or cute. Now that we are older, the dynamic between us feels like so much more. _She feels like so much more_. It confuses the hell out of me. But, damn it, _she is mine_. It may be the wrong way to think, but it is also something that I cannot control. 

Once the woman is secured, and the safety straps are in place, I step back, allowing Theon and Robb to lift her and lead her out of the apartment building. Those from the building gather outside, watching as if what they are seeing doesn’t surprise them. The pity in their eyes as the young woman passes them makes my stomach feel hollow. It is an eerie feeling, really, because in my opinion, one should never expect to see anyone being hauled out on a stretcher after being a human punching bag for some douche canoe. 

She suddenly begins to stir, crying out in pain and thrashing around. 

“Ma’am we need you to relax.” Theon attempts to console her, “We’re here to help you. She begins to mumble, and Theon immediately looks back at me for guidance.

“What’d she say?”

“Baby,” Robb says the word before Theon could, and my stomach feels like it has dropped to the ground at my feet. “She said to find my baby.” 

Hurrying forward, I shift myself closer to the woman to ensure I can hear her as clearly as possible. “Do you have a child?” 

She winces in pain as she slowly nods her head, tears forming in her eyes. Add that to my list of weaknesses; a woman crying gets me every fucking time. “Upstairs,” she whispers, and I lift my gaze to meet Tormund’s. Instantly, something clicks within us. Before I can stop myself, my legs are moving. I take the stairs two at a time. With Tormund fast on my heels, we climb four flights of stairs. My heart races with thoughts of what we will find. If there is anything worse than a woman in distress, it’s a defenseless child trapped helplessly in the middle of the sad mess. Nothing guts me more than to see a baby, a toddler . . . hell . . . a twelve- year-old—it doesn’t matter—hurt or scared. 

Tormund steps up to my side, almost as if he is thinking the same thing. He takes in one deep breath after another. It is eerily quiet, which only terrifies me more. 

“Let’s just pray the baby’s sleeping.” I hang my head, closing my eyes tight to fight off the nauseated feeling that hits me like a punch to the gut as I offer a nod in agreement. 

Channeling the inner strength needed for a job like this, we enter the apartment and find it in complete disarray. Inside we see a small coffee table turned over, broken ceramic pieces of plates, and a bowl that maybe scattered across the floor. It is apparent at one point that there was a struggle, and thoughts of Daenerys again fill my mind. Lately, Daenerys is consuming my mind much more. Her smile, her laughter, and even her irritated broodiness are always lingering my mind. 

I look around the small space and see a door slightly ajar down a short hallway. It is my turn to take one deep breath and then slowly release. Please be sleeping. I say a silent prayer over and over in my mind. 

I lift my hand to place it against the door panel that is cold beneath my palm. I can feel the nervous energy rolling off me, making my hands tremble in fear of what is behind this door. Tormund remains near; I know he feels much of the same things as me. Without any further stalling, I push open the door and immediately find a crib tucked in the far corner. My legs instantly feel like lead as I begin toward the crib. My heart is beating so rapidly that it feels like everything inside of me is rattling. 

Peeking over the side, I see movement and release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Thank the Lord. Gripping the railing to hold on, I steady myself, sighing as relief washes over me. A little girl with hair as dark as night looks up at me. Immediately, her lip begins to tremble. Laughter bubbles from my chest, and I look over at Tormund to find him appearing just as relieved as me. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever prayed as hard as I did over the last three minutes.” I know how he feels. I just promised all kinds of life changes and ways to give back if we just found this child unharmed, and here she is. Alive. Granted she is scared, but she is all right. At this moment, it’s all that matters. 

I reach out, lifting her in my arms, and remain unphased when she cries harder near my ear. Instead, I soothe her to the best of my ability as Tormund and I join the guys downstairs. 

Climbing up into the transport while holding her daughter, the battered woman begins to cry hard once she spots me. “Thank you,” she says softly, lifting her arm outward as she places her hand on the child’s leg. That simple touch alone is enough to calm them both. I just witnessed a beautiful moment, one that leaves me feeling accomplished even after viewing the type of terror they live day after day.

 

* * *

 

I ENTER the apartment to find Missandei and Daenerys sitting in the middle of our living room floor. A significant amount of papers, books, and every damn color of highlighters and pens are spread out before them. Daenerys is wearing her glasses that she hates, but I secretly love. She looks adorable in them, almost like a nerdy girl or hot but demure librarian you want to corrupt because you know a definite wild dragon lurks beneath that sweet exterior. 

“There’s a large supreme pizza in the oven for you on warm,” Daenerys mumbles around the pen that she’s holding between her teeth. “I also got some of that Gatorade you like that should be cold by now.” She relays all this without looking in my direction, remaining focused on the educational explosion before her. Daenerys is very dedicated to finishing her degree and starting a veterinary clinic that has always been her dream. I spent our childhood watching her rescue and nurture poor defenseless animals when needed or sometimes not. She has no fear; it doesn’t matter what type of animal it is, as the girl loves them all. 

“Thanks honey,” I say with humor in my voice as I toss my duffle bag to the side and slip off my boots. The moment the bag hits the floor, Daenerys lifts her head and looks in my direction. Instead of me acknowledging her judgmental gaze, I ignore it and move toward the kitchen. 

“Are you seriously just leaving your dirty bag right there?” 

That shit annoys her so much, so of course I leave it there to mess with her. “Yes, Sweet Buns,” I reply with a big smirk on my face, knowing she also hates when I call her little pet names. My life’s mission is to fire her up as often possible, only because I know I can. 

“Stop with the names, asshole,” she retorts in her annoyed tone reserved for me, which not only makes me laugh but also gains a reaction out of her friend Missandei too. 

“You two are like an old married couple.” 

“No way,” Daenerys barks, standing from the floor and walking toward my bag. I already know what she is doing. “If we were married, I’d be on trial for murder after the first year.” Ouch, Daenerys. That’s harsh. She heaves the bag that is almost as big as she is, struggling with its weight. I cleaned out my locker at work, so of course it is a little heavier than usual. Once she reaches my bedroom door, she opens it, tossing the duffle inside as best as she can. She uses her foot to push it a little further, but then she realizes it is in the way of closing the door. The small grunts that escape her only amplify my amusement. 

When she turns back around to find me watching her with an amused smirk painted on my face, she narrows her eyes and blows the stray hair that has fallen from the crazy pile of curls on top of her head. 

Did I mention Daenerys is a beauty kissed by ice? Angelic features on the outside but fiery, headstrong and sexier-each-day dragon. She is gorgeous—and I think she knows it too—though she hides that knowledge well. She isn’t one of those girls that has to try hard to be pretty; it just comes to her naturally. She is captivating but straightforward. 

“Thanks, babe,” I offer her a wink, and she flips me off. 

“Call me babe, honey, darling, sweet buns or peaches again and I will nut punch you.” 

We share a few quiet seconds in a standoff before she seems satisfied with my silence. I wait for her to get repositioned on the floor, with her book back in her lap, before I decide to dig one last time. 

“I’m gonna go jump in the shower, kitten,” I inform her, playing with fire yet again. Her response is a growl that sounds more tiger than kitten, and I close my mouth tightly to hide my satisfied chuckle. “Thanks for the pizza and Gatorade, angel.” Now I’m about to get burned. 

“He is such a . . .” Daenerys pauses, I don’t even bother turning around because I refuse to give her the satisfaction of looking back at her. 

_“Rude boy!”_ I holler and am met with complete radio silence. There is something here for sure, and not for a minute do I believe that she isn’t aware of the meaning behind that song. Daenerys has always been someone fascinated with the hidden meanings behind the lyrics of her favorite music. There is no way I believe the poor excuse she offered only days ago. 

A huge part of me hopes that Daenerys imagines doing precisely the dirty things Rhianna sings about. I’d be more than happy to do a demo with her if she wants to give it a shot. All she has to do is ask. Hell, she doesn’t even have to ask me nicely. _Forget Rude Boy, I’ll be her dirty boy_. I mean, what are best friends for, right?

 

* * *

 

 

**DAENERYS**

 

“HOW’S SCHOOL GOING?” I sit on the edge of my bed, a towel securely wrapped around me, feeling so vulnerable. It is something I often feel when talking to my father, only because it brings back everything we’d lost. 

“It’s going well, Dad,” I hate the defeated tone held in his voice. Before our loss, my father was always so proud, so self-assured of himself and the life he lived, but he'd lost that. My father was. . . is the greatest man I’ve ever known. But when we lost my mom, that man I’ve admired my entire life seemed to die too. He goes through the motions each day, but I can still feel his pain. I can see it in his eyes. “How are you?” 

“I’m good.” His reply is always the same, but I know he is so about as far from good as you can get. “How’s that boy doing? Still saving lives and keeping my girl safe?” 

One thing never changes though. My father loves Jon. He always has, but so had my mother. I know part of the reason why my father feels so lost is that he blames himself. He was the one behind the wheel the night we lost her, but it was at the hands of a semi driver who had chosen to beat the clock versus getting the sleep he needed. One quick nod and he swerved over into oncoming traffic and collided with our car. The cries of my father haunt me still, as he had held my mother in his arms, begging her to come back to him. I lift my free hand up and run the pad of my finger over the indented scar on my forehead along my hairline; it is a constant reminder of that horrific night. 

“Jon is still as annoying as ever,” I finally say with a smile knowing that it would get a small rise out of my father. 

“Annoying maybe, but the other half to your whole,” he responds, right as always, as I wouldn’t feel complete without Jon. He’s been in my life so long that I don’t remember what life was like without him. It is also something I never want to find out. 

“He still dating that girl?” My father asks almost robotically, and my stomach sours before I even have a chance to stop it. “What’s her name again?” 

“Ygritte,” I say through clenched teeth and feel my lip curl. She is the one girl that did everything she could to come between the friendship Jon and I share. She was always threatened by me, even though I’d heard him tell her more times than I’d like to remember that it wasn’t like that with him and me. “And no, they haven’t been together in over a year, Dad.” 

I’ve told my dad this many times before, but it is always the same. I know most of the questions he asks are only an attempt to stay involved, but the answers given each time never genuinely register in his mind. 

Ygritte and Jon were together for close to two years, and I’ll admit that time was one of the hardest on our friendship. It was the turning point for me, the one that made me face the fact that I did have feelings for him. That these feelings I hold are much more profound than those any friend should have for another friend. 

I’ve never been so insecure or so jealous of any other person in my entire life. _I hated Ygritte_ , but during that time, I envied her too. She was the first girl that Jon ever loved, which was heartbreaking for me. But because I love him, I tolerated her. I did my best to be kind, even though she was a catty and condescending bitch. I think she could see right through me, which she took full advantage of as often as possible. 

When they broke up, it was the happiest I’d ever been. It was a party in my mind for days. Even during Jon's drunken phase where he tried to wash away the memory of her, I still felt a joy that she was gone. I should have felt like a terrible friend, and I guess part of me still does, but it never outweighed the other. 

“Yeah,” my father’s haunted whisper reminds me that I am still on the phone with him. “I think I remember you saying that now.” 

We spend the next few minutes going through our regular series of questions and pleasantries. When we hang up, I feel empty. I’d lost my mother, a woman that knew the boundaries between a mother and a friend, and played each roll better than anyone I knew. She was on my side always, my biggest cheerleader. She had dreams for me, she was so proud and made sure I knew it every day. But when she had to be a mother, when she had to step up and correct me, she did that too. She was the kind of woman you listened to because her words meant something. Not only because she had that _‘take no shit’_ attitude that you knew better than to challenge, but also because everything she said and did came from the most significant place: her heart. She was rational; she didn’t act first and analyze it later. She was kind with a touch of badass. She was perfect. My mother was amazing—that was the only way to describe her. 

Hot tears run down my cheeks, and I hang my head, giving in to my emotions. I didn’t hear the door open or notice Jon entering until the bed dips at my side. Looking over at him, he doesn’t hesitate for a second before pulling me into him and hugging me closely. 

“You would think after two years it would get easier,” I say against his chest as I relish in the comfort he offers. “But each time I hear the sadness in his voice, it breaks me all over again.” 

“I know,” he softly says. He really does get it. Jon knows more than anyone. He suffered that loss with me. He stood by me, slept next to me for nights holding me in his arms and allowing me to fall apart over and over again. 

It was one of the moments that I think begun to break him and Ygritte apart. Because in her mind, it was so much more than a best friend supporting another. She didn’t understand my need for him. She would swear she saw an intimate connection unfolding between us that was never even a part of that situation at the time. 

There was no hidden agenda I had to steal her boyfriend, but I needed him more than she did at that time. I needed him to hold me up. I knew if he let go, I would’ve crumbled right alongside my father. 

Jon holds me like he has so many times before, allowing my tears to fall as they soak into the material of his t-shirt. 

“You always seem to know when I need you,” I say immediately, thinking maybe I shouldn’t have. 

“Always gonna be here, Daenerys,” he assures me, placing a kiss on my temple, making my heart feel like it’s skipped a beat. “We made a pact when we were ten,” he says matter-of-factly, smiling against my forehead, “with spit and everything.” 

It is my turn to smile for the first time in the last hour. I wrinkle my nose, remembering back to the time he’d convinced me that a deal wasn’t a deal unless there was spit involved. “You also made a deal that you would buy me a cute little yellow convertible too.” 

“I’m working on it,” he says, chuckling. 

Silence settles over us, and I concentrate on him, trying to tuck away the memories of my phone call. Jon’s cologne is something I find comforting because it feels like home to me. He feels like home to me. The masculine scent that I’ve grown accustomed to over the last six years settles me, something always recognizable and something I never want to forget. 

“Are you smelling me?” 

“Shut up,” I say as I nuzzle in closer. “You aren’t allowed to poke at me and make fun.” 

“I was just asking.” I don’t have to look at him to know he is smiling with that cocky look on his face. 

“For your information, I kinda like the cologne you wear.” I ignore the way his lips brush over my temple again, and the way his hand hooks my waist a little tighter, eliciting a warm feeling over me. It is nothing, I tell myself. My mind wants to imagine things that aren’t there. It is a reaction I often have when it comes to Jon. Wanting someone you know you can’t have or desiring a person you know doesn’t feel the same is my daily struggle. 

“I was gonna meet the guys for a few drinks,” he whispers. “Wanna tag along?” 

“No,” I quickly reply. I want you to stay here with me just like this. “I’m gonna get my pajamas on and find the funniest romantic comedy I can.” 

I am met with seconds of silence. 

“I’ll be fine, Jon,” I assure him, knowing he is now worrying. “This helped.” More than I can ever explain. 

“I love you, Daenerys,” he softly says. I bite the inside of my cheek to hide my reaction to his words. “You know this right?” I nod because I am afraid to speak, afraid if I do that my words and feelings will betray me. He loves me like a sister, like a lifelong pal, a friend. My mind may be begging for that I love you to mean more, but deep inside, I know it doesn’t. “Maybe I should stay around here tonight.” 

“Or you should go out with the guys and leave me to my night of crazy chick flicks.” I finally sit up and somehow force a smile. “I’m good, I promise. I needed a few minutes of weakness and now I’m better.” 

“You don’t have to pretend with me,” he affirmed, watching for any signs of faltering on my behalf. 

“I’m not pretending,” I assure him. I was pretending. “I’ll probably pass out before nine. I have an exam tomorrow and my brain is mush from cramming all afternoon. I doubt I’ll last long.” 

“If you change your mind—” 

“I won’t,” I cut him off, smirking when he rolls his eyes at me. So immature, yet so cute. 

“But if you do,” he counters as he lifts his hand to tap the end of my nose with the tip of his finger, “you call or text, and I’ll be home.” 

I know he means it, but I won’t change my mind. I notice that I’ve allowed myself to lean on him lately way more than I should and I shouldn’t. One day Jon would meet the woman that would steal his heart. He’ll give up anything for her—including the closeness we have—because she will be the one he’ll vow to protect and cherish. I need to let go just enough to ensure that when that happens to him, I’ll still be okay. 

It is painful to think about, but it is something I have to do.

 

_I can’t hang on to a dream._


	3. "Defcon V Seriously??"

**JON**

 

“WHAT’S UP WITH YOU?” Robb flops down on the barstool at my side, already half hammered. “Because you’ve been hiding over here in the corner all night and I’m starting to think we need to have some relocate-your-balls-and-remember-you-are-a-man intervention or something.” 

“Just staying out of your way, bud,” I tell him with a smile I don’t quite feel. “You’re on the prowl, and I don’t wanna give the ladies anything to look at that takes the attention away from you.” 

“What gives?” The guy isn’t as gullible or as drunk as I thought. 

“Daenerys.” One word. It is all I need to say. Robb and I have worked together for close to four years, and I met him a year before that. He knows the history between Daenerys and me. He also knows about her mother and the toll it has taken on her. He understands my need to shelter her, protect her even. It is something I don’t remember ever not doing. 

“When are you gonna take a chance on her?” I look over at him, my beer pausing against my lips, and arch a brow in question. “Don’t look at me like that. You know yourself the thought has crossed your mind a hundred times or more.” 

“We’re friends,” I retort, noticing that my words sound unconvincing even to my ears. “It doesn’t matter if the thought or any other has crossed my mind, it’s not worth risking what we have.”

“What makes you think you’d be risking it? What you have with her now could make everything between the two of you more solid and secure.” 

“It’s not like that with us.” _Or at least her._

Before he can answer or push anymore, a group of ladies step up, causing Robb to instantly lose interest in our conversation. 

“Hello, ladies.” He turns around on his stool and begins eyeing them up and down. I can’t help but chuckle at Robb's over the top reaction. The guy seriously has no pick-up game. He’s a complete menace in the ladies department. 

“Hi.” I am distracted by a soft whisper near my ear, and turn quickly, almost butting heads with a blonde that is entirely too close. I’m talking tits smashed to my side, lips hovered two inches from mine, maybe less. “You here alone?” 

“Waiting on someone,” I say, backing away from her a bit. In the process, I bump into someone else on the opposite side of me. A soft giggle erupts to my left, and I find not only do I have a blonde at one side, but also a redhead at the other. I am sandwiched in the middle and watch as they share some hidden signal between them that only they understand. 

“A smart girl would never leave someone like you waiting,” the redhead coos. Yes, fucking coos the words before biting her lip. She may have meant for it to look sexy but fails. She looks more like a starving woman trying to suck off her lip. “Her loss could be our gain, Melissandre,” the blonde says to the redhead who I now know is Melissandre. 

“You are so right, Cersei.” And the blonde girl is Cersei. 

The scary part is that they both look hungry. I’m not sure escaping fully intact is going to be an option for me any longer. My palm fists on the counter before me as sweat begins to dampen them. Robb is no help. He’s already taken two of the girls to the pool tables, and the loud giggles indicate they are offering him the attention he craves. 

“What do you think about letting us keep you company until whomever it is that was stupid enough to leave you alone arrives?” Cersei is practically drying humping my side, and Melissandre is tracing small circles over my arm with the tip of her finger. 

I don’t answer, because I know no matter what I say or do, these two aren’t the kind of girls that give up quickly. Instead, I grab my phone and send an S.O.S. message that will hopefully lead to my rescue mission. 

Or I’m praying like hell it will.

 

 ** _Me:_** _I need your help! NOW!!!_

I send another text message quickly after that one to eliminate the probability of her thinking this is some joke. 

**_Me:_ ** _Full. On. Clingers. Stalker mode, scary as fuck clingers. I’m at Edwards on fifth. Hurry! Situation level consists of code red. Life of being locked in a fucking closet and used as a sex slave for the rest of my life scary here. Please hurry!  
_

The pause feels like it lasts forever before Daenerys responds. 

**_Daenerys:_ ** _Being a Sex Slave shouldn’t terrify you. I would think it would excite you instead._

**_Me:_** _Stop stalling this is Defcon 5, Daenerys. I need you now! They’re touching me in places that I don’t want to be touched. And I said no. No means no! Right?_

I grin to myself as I imagine her staring at her phone with humor from my frantic texting. 

**_Daenerys:_** _Stop the freak-out, you big baby. I’m already on my way. But to warn you, I’m not getting dressed up to come to save you. I’ve been vegging out on the couch and honestly don’t care if I scare people with my appearance._

The greatest thing about this is that she genuinely doesn’t care. Daenerys is who she is and if you don’t like it, too bad. 

For the next fifteen minutes, I stare at the door, begging that the next time it opens, Daenerys will fill the space. Don’t get me wrong, I like women. But these so-called women? They are she-wolves looking for their next meal. _Spoiler alert: I’m their meal._ Where are you, Daenerys? I’m about to be wild animal bait here.

Though Cersei says it was an ‘accident,’ she manages to grope my dick when she drops her napkin in my lap. I’ve had Melissandre’s tits smashed to the side of my face more times than I’ve ever admitted and I think I have friction burn on my hand from Cersei’s consistent shuffle against me. She may have even moaned a time or two. I refuse be the meat in their sex sandwich. Maybe if I remain perfectly still with uncomfortable terror in my eyes, these wanton wolves will go find their next meal somewhere or with someone else. One can only hope. 

Even in my unsettled position, I can’t stop myself from smiling when Daenerys steps inside the bar. She is wearing a pair of tight yoga pants, boots still untied, and my oversize jacket that hangs to her knees. Her hair is still piled on top of her head the way it was when I left her a few hours ago. She’s also wearing her glasses instead of her contacts. Even in her state of disarray, I find her beautiful. 

The moment she spots me, she looks to my left and then my right before a smirk covers her lips. _Yeah, real funny, Daenerys._ I only was about to get eaten alive by these all-baring, paws-on-my- pants animals. _No big deal_. I understand without having to ask that I am not going to like what she is about to do. 

Rounding the bar, she moves in behind me and reaches out to tap me on the shoulder. “Hiding out in bars I see?” I swivel around, the quick movement finally giving me some much-needed space, and both wolves . . . I mean . . . women finally step away. Were they still close? Yes, personal space invasion close, but at least I have a few inches on each side now. I give Daenerys a quizzical stare, and it does nothing to dampen her current act. “Avoiding the situation is not gonna make it go away, Jon. You missed another appointment today, and I’m tired of trying to express to you the urgency of this matter. It isn’t just a rash or some allergic reaction. It has started to spread Jon, and it oozes.” 

I arch a brow because she has lost me already. I have no idea what angle she is going for here but it sounds like I’m on Team Loser in this game she’s playing . . . fake or not. 

“When it flares up again, and the puss starts soaking through the material of your boxers, you’ll be crying for me to make it all go away. Instead of handling the situation,” Daenerys says with a straight face, waving her hand in the area of my cock, “you keep coming out to bars, meeting girls, and spreading the ick from your dick.” Ick? Dick? What the fuck, Daenerys?!? 

By this time, the blonde at my side slowly inches farther and farther away. 

“The ick from my dick?” I finally ask, narrowing my eyes at her as I notice another group of spectators watching this show closely. Their noses are wrinkled in disgust. 

“Yes, that is what I’ve chosen to call your infected genital area because I don’t know what exactly it is you’ve contracted. All I know is that it smells awful, Jon, as in vile. You need to get yourself checked out immediately.” 

Daenerys crosses her arms over her chest, as if daring me to argue with the approach she’s picked. Really, Daenerys? I knew this was my only way out but had no idea you’d prey on my precious junk that is now the real victim here. By the way, the girls are now looking for an escape of their own. I guess the sacrifice of my manhood, _totally healthy in case there is any doubt,_ to lose these animals worked because they are no longer hungry for my prized package. 

“Oh and that last girl you were with is threatening to cut off your dick again. She left like twelve messages about murdering you for whatever sick shit it is she contracted from your infected dick. Her words, not mine.” Daenerys shrugs. “But in reality, that is precisely what your situation is, an infected, nasty, smelly and—” 

I hold my hand up to stop her, and she smiles proudly. “I get it.” 

In that very moment, I wonder if my pal here has chosen the right profession. Daenerys would've made one hell of an actress. 

Cersei mumbles something I can’t quite understand before she spins on her heels and hurries toward the opposite side of the bar. Melissandre starts brushing at her clothes, hell, even her arms, as if trying to wipe away any traces of contact with me. Her actions of course only make Daenerys laugh out loud before quickly covering her mouth to hide it. 

The sound of the bar stool Melissandre sits in screeches against the floor, and she practically falls on her ass because she can’t seem to get away fast enough. 

“Seriously?” I ask as I finally stand up from the stool. I’ve chosen to remain seated during the entire time Daenerys ran on with this crazy as shit skit she planned. “Puss and odor,” I add, shaking my head when I notice she is still in character, “real smooth." 

“You said it was Defcon Five,” she declares, shrugging innocently, “I had to think fast.” 

“And that was all you could come up with?” I reach out and hook my arm over her shoulders, pulling her in for a noogie because I know she hates them. 

“Knock it off. I don’t want your cooties.” She pinches my side, and I release my hold on her with an involuntary grunt from the sharp pain she’s caused. “Great.” She starts to imitate the movements of Melissandre, as she frantically starts to brush herself off. “Now I’m infected.” 

As she turns around and begins walking toward the exit, looking as proud as ever, I slap her ass hard. This time, it’s her turn to squeal loudly. Payback’s a bitch, bestie, I think as I smile to myself. 

“Let’s go home, baby.” She glares back at me when I pick one of the many annoying pet names she hates. “I’m in the mood to cuddle my sweet little princess.” Getting a rise out of Daenerys is addicting. The sad part is that cuddling with her on the couch or in bed while watching a movie is really the perfect way to end an evening.

 

* * *

 

**DAENERYS**

 

I ROLL TO MY SIDE, feeling for my pillow, pulling it closer, as I hug it tightly. The material of my pillowcase still has the faint scent of Jon on it after he decided last night we were watching a movie in my room. Not that I mind. It just makes my dreams that much better. I didn’t have to imagine what he’d look like sprawled out in my bed in only a pair of shorts that sometimes highlight his big bulge; I had the visual front and center. 

Let’s just say that in my dreams, he only wears the shorts for a few minutes before I strip them from his body and proceed to drive him crazy. As in I’d have him holding me beneath his chiseled rock-hard body within seconds as I scream out his name over and over. We would test out so many positions and places that by the time morning hit, there wouldn’t be a place we hadn’t christened throughout our apartment. In my mind, the sex is off-the-charts too. _Oh so good._

I should feel guilty for the way I constantly objectify him in my mind. It is so wrong, but it feels so right. These _Dirty Jon Dreams, or DJDs_ as I’ve now nicknamed them because that acronym just sounds sexy, have caused me to go through batteries more often than usual. BOB, you know, the battery-operated boyfriend, is getting quite the work-out lately, the need growing much more significant with each passing day. 

I sigh and start to settle back into a peaceful sleep before panic hits me. Shooting up out of bed, I search for my phone. When I see that it’s well after nine in the morning, I hurry around my room, getting dressed in a rush. I was supposed to meet Missandei for a study session at Starbucks around ten, and she is the most impatient person I know. If I am even a few minutes late, I’ll never hear the end of it. 

Bursting out of my room, I dart for the bathroom, only to freeze with my hand on the doorknob. A rush of excitement washes over me as I lean in closer and hear the water running in the shower mixed with the sounds of our small radio playing just inside. The idea of Jon being naked, soaped up with his hands skimming over his chest and—I shake my head to clear my thoughts. 

_Get over it, you horny hussy._

I’ve gone in and out of the bathroom a million times since we’ve lived together while he was showering. Why was it so different now? 

Well jeez, Daenerys, you did spend the last several hours dreaming of your best friend doing unimaginable things to your body while returning the favor on a repeated basis. _Admit it: You had dirty dreams and your best friend was the star._ It just feels wrong to barge in now. 

Was I honestly standing here in the hall having a full on conversation with myself about sexual fantasies, and my naked and very wet friend? I seriously need a date with reality. 

Blowing out a deep breath, I let the thoughts go and push open the door. Ignoring the outline of Jon's body moving behind the curtain, I focus on the task at hand instead. Brush teeth, wash face and brush hair in that order. Ignore the sounds of the water hitting the shower floor or the slapping sound of—. 

I immediately freeze, holding my toothbrush in one hand, the tube of toothpaste in the other as I focus on nothing else but the repeated slapping sounds. 

_Wait . . . slapping sounds?_ A moan filters around me too. 

_Holy.  
_

_Fucking.  
_

_Shit._

Jon lets out a low erotic pleased whimper, whispering something that I can’t quite make out. I then hear, _“So good,”_ fall from his lips. _Oh. My. Hot._ I slowly turn my head toward the shower, as if moving too fast may announce my presence. I see a clear silhouette of him behind the fogged shower curtain, large package standing at attention that has my attention, and there is no longer doubt of what he is doing. 

“Are you seriously jacking off?” I immediately cover my mouth, regretting that I allowed the words that were floating around in my mind to escape my mouth so quickly. 

The curtain moves, almost as if he hit it, as he spins around with lightning speed. “What the fuck, Daenerys? What are you doing in here?” 

“I needed to get my toothbrush.” As proof to show I’m not some sort of creepy shower stalker, I hold up the toothpaste and brush as an example, as he remains hidden behind the curtain. 

“And you didn’t think to let me know you were coming in?” 

I want to laugh because the reality of the situation has suddenly hit me. 

“No,” I say with a giggle I can’t hold back, “because I never thought I’d be walking in on a jerking session with you stroking your prized pony.” 

“Prized pony? Really, Daenerys? Now, do you mind?” I can see him place his hands on his hips, his body then facing straight at the curtain with his legs slightly parted. So what do I do? _Look down, Daenerys._ _Look away from the bulge. Keep your eyes on the floor._ “A little privacy would be appreciated, Daenerys.” 

Was he going to finish? _Please continue the sexy show, Jon._

Silence settles over the bathroom before it is interrupted with the sound of him moving the curtain. “Or you can stay and join me in here for a better view, babe. Maybe offer up a _little assistance_.” 

I can feel his smirk through the curtain. _I look up, swallowing hard._ So hard I swear the sound of it echoes throughout the bathroom, bringing even more attention to my discomfort. He is watching me, smirk painted on his face with one eyebrow quirked, apparently waiting for my response. 

Did I mention my palms are sweaty? Or the fact that my legs are shaking? 

After the night I’ve had, the dreams I’d dreamt, a big part of me wants to start shedding my clothes to prove a point. To make my dirty dreams a reality with him starring with me and doing delicious things to me. Oh, and let him ease the ache my night left inside of me. But this is Jon, _my best friend_ , the guy that has seen me at my worst a million different times. He hassles me often and treats me like a sister; however, my thoughts are not brotherly at all. 

So instead, I do what I’ve done so many times before. I fire back with the best insult I can hurl as the heat in my neck rises to my cheeks. I pretend and tuck away my feelings. 

“I don’t think me getting any closer will help, Jon,” I challenge. I almost contemplate charging through that curtain and offering him some _hands-on assistance._ I spin around and walk out of the room, my legs still feeling weak and jelly like. I know already that my attempt was feeble. In my defense, most of my brain cells were again fried by the idea of what he was doing while I’d stood only a few feet away. 

I brush my teeth in the kitchen sink, hurrying to get ready before Jon exits the bathroom. I am not dense. I understand guys take care of themselves and often. Girls do it too like I do with BOB. I just never imagined walking in on him or hearing him enjoy it as if I were witnessing a personal show. Every time I think of it, I’ll remember the moans and get heated up all over again. 

I am about to exit the apartment when Jon rounds the corner with a towel secured around his waist that does nothing but highlight his big bulge below. Don’t look down at the towel, Daenerys. _So I look down, again, of course. Damn my traitorous eyes._

“All covered up this time,” Jon says in an arrogant tone, and I immediately glare at him. Mostly because he’d caught me looking, but also because I am not one of his hookups so that tone doesn’t do a thing for me. 

“You could be standing there completely naked, and it would have no effect on me.” _Liar. I’m a damn liar._ I wave him off as I lift my bag and hook it over my shoulder. Picking up my keys from the high table, I open the door and start to step out when I hear him call out to me. 

“Is that so?” 

It all happens so fast. I look back, Jon drops the towel, and my gaze shifts immediately downward to what I now know is a big and beautiful, groomed cock. Instantly, I trip over my own feet and stumble out the door. Thankfully, I catch the weight of my body before face planting into the wall opposite our door. 

“No effect, huh, Daenerys?” Jon asks from behind me, and I internally argue with myself over my reaction. “Never had a girl practically fall to the floor before, though I have had them—” I spin around to face him and am thankful he at least takes the time to cover himself back up. 

“I’m not one of your sleazy hookups, Jon.” I take a step toward him. “So don’t act like I am.” 

Silently, we stare at one another while his words linger in my mind.  The words can be misconstrued. Of course, the hopeful side of me wants to think it is because he values me. Because I mean more than the women of his past. But the rational side knows that it is because we’re just friends. We’ll always be just friends.

 

* * *

 

I BURST THROUGH THE DOOR, feeling like the weight of the last few weeks is suddenly lifted. I’ve studied for hours upon hours. I’ve freaked myself out more than a dozen times over worry. But now, it is all over. At least until the next exam anyway. 

Robb lounges on our couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table. “Hey, pretty girl,” he says, looking back at me with a smile. “Been a while since I’ve seen ya.” 

“Hey.” I offer him a wave. 

Robb is a decent guy, a little too flirty at times, but harmless. He looks back toward the television at whatever sports broadcast that is playing and listens to the highlights of the game. I hear the refrigerator door close and drop my bag near the table to give Jon the happy news. 

Practically skipping across the dining area with excitement, I round the corner into our small kitchen and come to an abrupt stop. Jon stands with his back to me, but I can see the girl he is facing. Her hands are around his waist, toying with the end of his shirt. They aren’t doing anything more than staring at one another, but it is obvious they are close enough that either something was about to happen, or I’d just missed the show. 

I start to turn around and rush off toward my room when I see him move. “Daenerys?” He sounds surprised to see me. “I uh . . .” he stammers, looking back at the girl who is also observing me. Her lips are reddened, swollen and a sure sign that I barely missed the make-out session that took place. My stomach tightens with unease, jealousy actually, and I do my best to hide the way it makes me feel inside. 

I’ve never had a problem seeing him with other girls. Until now. “This is Val,” Jon says, and I force a smile. 

“Nice to meet you.” I offer her that greeting, but contemplate lunging for her and dragging her by her hair toward the nearest exit. I can’t help but picture myself tossing her ass over the railing of our balcony or going for the less murderous option and kicking her out our front door. 

“I’ll talk to ya later.” I spin around, taking two steps, only for him to stop me again. 

“How’d the exam go?” I freeze, my back to him. “Did you ace it?” 

“It was good.” I look back and focus on her instead of him. She is pretty, a little too flashy, but still pretty. I have no right to hate her. I don’t even know her, but instantly want her gone. What is my problem? My fantasies are messing with my reality. “We’ll talk about it later.” 

I should have known he wouldn’t listen because he walks toward me and pauses at my side. “She’s just a friend.” It’s not like he needs to explain to me why he has a girl here. 

“I’m just a friend.” I widen my eyes and fake a laugh. Something weird passes between us, an uncomfortable silence. It makes my heart race, and I am not quite sure yet how I feel about the shift. 

When he reaches out and touches my hand, he gives it a gentle squeeze. “You’re not just a friend.” Excitement sparks within me. “You’re my best friend.” And the excitement sizzles. “I wanna know about your test.” 

“It was good. I passed.” I need the shelter of my room at this moment. I don’t know how to handle the things running around in my mind, or the tightening in my chest. 

He tilts his head just slightly as he looks over my face with careful analyzation. “Celebrate tonight?” I nod. Then Jon leans in closer like he is going to kiss my forehead just as he has done so many times before. But before his lips can touch me, I move further away. Again, a look of confusion covers his face; he seems hurt maybe. 

“You just had your mouth on her.” I instantly regret my response. “I don’t know where her lips have been.” I arch a brow, attempting to recover the moment and ease the tension. “Remember that fungus you got down below?” He grins, shaking his head when I point toward his crotch. “I think it’s spreading.” 

“Real funny, smartass.” Then before I have a chance to prepare, he grabs my head and plants a wet sloppy kiss on my forehead. In turn, I shiver involuntarily in disgust. I can tell that he thinks I faked my reaction. Jon has no clue that my shiver was not disgust but desire.

 

_I’m so screwed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's the GOT premier night! Our Queen is really gorgeous in her gown... have you seen her yet??


	4. "Cookie Douche"

**JON**

 

EVERYTHING IS MESSED UP, at least it is for me. For the last few days, ever since Val was over, I’ve felt off. Daenerys and I are ‘off.’ Things seem odd between us. She tries to pull off the _‘everything is the same’_ act, but I can feel the difference. She’s been spending more time in her bedroom and less time lounging around in the living room or even the reading room I made for her after we moved in. 

She loves that room. It is more of an extension off of our living room. It has the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the pool that is in the center of our apartment complex. It is entirely too small to be an actual bedroom, which is why I lined the back wall with shelves and bought the two oversized lounging chairs with the spider lamp. It is just enough for the reading room space, making it feel cozy, or so she said when I first showed it to her. 

Every night when I come home, I’ve grown accustomed to seeing her wandering around, acting natural and unfazed. But now she is distant, nervous maybe. It is fucking with my head. I am confused beyond clarity because the most prominent part of me wants to tell her that I want her and that I am tired of pretending I didn’t. I want to be more than friends. Then another part of me thinks taking our friendship to the next level it would only make things worse. 

“We can . . .” I look up over the back of the couch at the sound of her voice as she walks through the dining room toward our kitchen. She holds her phone to her ear, completely ignoring me. “Or we can go to the new club that just opened.” 

Now she has my full attention. 

“Did he say he wants to meet me?” My stomach lurches, and I lean in a little closer, wanting to hear every word. “Twenty-seven,” another pause, “I know how old I am, Missandei, but he’s older. The idea that he’s already gone through a divorce doesn’t make me want to rush off and fall in love with him.” 

_What the fuck?_

“You are so crass,” Daenerys adds, sounding less than amused. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. He’s looking for an easy lay, and I’m not that girl.” 

_Damn fucking straight she wasn’t, isn’t and wouldn’t be if I had anything to say about it._

“That’s what you keep telling me,” she adds as I try to control my rapid heartbeat because the blood rushing to my head is making it difficult to concentrate, much less hear. “But I’m not sure I can be the kind of girl that sleeps around and feels okay with it. I don’t think I’m programmed that way.” 

Relief hits me, but the desperate need to have a little talk with Missandei about pushing Daenerys is pounding in my mind. 

“I’d rather just stick to dinner and drinks.” Daenerys exits the kitchen and places a small dish on the table before walking back out of sight. “If I’m being forced to go on a blind date, it’s not gonna be in some dark club with lots of alcohol. If it’s just you and me, fine, but if he’s coming, then I’m taking the safe route. And I’m meeting you all there so I have my car if the need to escape should arise.” 

When she comes back into the dining room, she places a large glass of chocolate milk on the table, and I slouch down just enough to hide behind the back cushion of the couch. Of course, she is wearing a pair of those short booty shorts, and sitting in the chair with one leg tucked up. Oh, and from my current position, her parted legs are like a target for my eyes. _A bullseye._

“Seven works better for me because I still need a shower and I have no idea what to wear.” Nervous energy rushes through me like a tidal wave. Without thinking, I get up from the couch and round the end. She looks up abruptly, and her eyes widen in surprise. “Okay,” Daenerys says, but her eyes are now on me as I walk toward the table. “I’ll be there by seven.” I grab the chair next to her and pull it out, sitting down. 

When she lowers her phone to the table, I snatch the container of cookies, and she reaches out to try to stop me, missing entirely. “Those are mine,” she argues, eyes narrowing at me as I take her milk too. “Seriously?” 

I nod, lifting the chocolate cookie to my mouth as I take a huge bite. It doesn’t go unnoticed the way her eyes shift toward my mouth and then her lips slightly part. So just for my ego after the conversation I heard, I lick my lips and watch as she licks her own in response. _That’s fucking hot._

With a huff, she stands up and walks back into the kitchen. I, of course, watch her ass sashay in front of me, feeling like I’ve won. It isn’t just in my head; I know that now. Things are different, and not just for me but her too. 

When she comes back to the table, she has another cup of milk that she holds firmly in her hand. “Give me a cookie.” She holds out her hand. “Stop being so stingy, Jon.” 

“But I love your cookies, Daenerys.” _Yes, I’m a pervert_ , thinking about an entirely different kind of sweetness in my mind. “So sweet and soft,” I add, at least I imagine her taste to be. 

I wonder for a minute if she has caught on. If she does, she doesn’t falter. “That’s fine, but like I said, you could share.” 

“I don’t like to share,” I state. “I’m very stingy.” 

I take another bite of the cookie, still holding onto the container, refusing to give in. I don’t know why I have the urge to piss Daenerys off. It is hypocritical, really, that I am pissed about her going out, but I brought a girl back here only a few days ago. Granted Val and I did nothing but share a few heated kisses, but she was still in the apartment Daenerys and I share. 

“Are we still talking about cookies, Jon?” 

Daenerys surprises me with her question, and I’m unsure how to respond. The fear of changing things between us even more lingers in my mind. The idea that my choices, whether to act on impulse and building desire for Daenerys or take the easy road and do nothing are deciding factors that could both be terrifying in different ways. 

“I am.” I chicken out completely. “What are you talking about?” 

“The fact that you’re a brat and won’t give me back my sugary goodness.”

 

* * *

 

THREE HOURS. That’s how long I sit in the living room, my mind fucking with my heart and my body ready to pounce on Daenerys, my roommate and best friend. I hear her shower and close my eyes, imagining her washing her body, the water cascading over her like a beautiful statue. I then picture her stepping out, drying off each arm, dragging the towel over her breasts, her nipples hardening from the coolness of the air. Nearby, I sit on the couch, shorts tenting, my erection at full attention, so hard that it’s starting to hurt, when she exits the bathroom and walks directly to her room, not even glancing in my direction. 

I can hear her moving around in her room as my legs vibrate, my patience running thin. I continue to flip through the channels on the television, not because I am searching for something to watch, but because I want the actual time to light up in the right upper corner of the TV. The closer it gets to seven, the more irritable I become. 

The sound of heels clicking along the tiled floor make my pulse race. 

“Leaving?” I ask, slowly turning on the couch to face her almost swallowing my tongue. I’ve seen Daenerys dressed up. I’ve seen her look amazing. Beautiful even. But tonight, she is standing before me, so stunning that I can’t help but ache. 

“I’m going out to dinner with Missandei.” She looks down at herself as she runs her hand over the side of her form-fitted dress. It hits mid-thigh, and the heels she wears only made her legs seem like they go on forever. “She’s managed to get me trapped into a double date.” 

I only nod, because if I speak, I know I’ll mess up everything. 

“Be on standby,” she says with a laugh, and I look up from my focus on her body to meet her gaze. “I may need to put in a rescue call or text if this guy turns out to be anything like your girls from the bar that night.” 

“If he’s even half as bad as those girls, you won’t need to ask me to rescue you. He’ll be the one that needs rescuing.” I notice instantly the way her throat bobs when she swallows hard. 

“Promise me one thing?” 

“What?” 

“If he doesn’t respect you, then you call me.” I don’t want her to go. My body hums with the desire to get up and go to her. I try to pull her close and tell her to stay right here with me, but I know I shouldn’t. 

“I’m not dumb enough to spend time with a guy who doesn’t.” I know this already. Daenerys has never been the kind of girl who needs the attention of a man. I guess that’s why it makes it so easy to ignore the feelings I think I’ve had for years. There isn’t anyone out there competing for her attention or at least not someone of importance to her. But like I said before, something has shifted. I fear what the change means for her, but I can’t get myself to ask. 

“You’re not going out tonight?” 

“Gotta be in at five a.m. tomorrow.” I turn back to look at the television in desperate need of a distraction. “I’ll probably go to bed early.” I won’t be able to fall asleep until I know she is back here, alone and in bed safe and sound. 

“Good night then.” I want to look at her again, but I know if I did, it would be the final step from us being just friends to being more or maybe even less. 

“Night, Daenerys.” I try to hide the way my hand fists the controller tighter. 

The sound of her heels against the floor, followed by the click of the door as she closes it behind her, is like a punch to my stomach.

 

* * *

 

 

**DAENERYS**

 

“SHE SLEPT WITH YOUR UNCLE?” I ask this, I think for the third time in the last five minutes, still reeling from the information. 

“Yep.” How this man could be smiling after his wife of two years slept with his uncle was beyond me. “Now they’re planning their wedding.” I already know my eyes must look like they’re bugging out of my head. “Imagine the awkwardness at any future family affairs.” 

“That is insane,” I say this slowly, shaking my head in disbelief. “I don’t know how on earth you were able to keep your cool enough to pack a bag and walk out, while they were both still there. I think I would have gone crazy with anger.” 

“It was hard,” Daario admits, “but as I moved around our apartment, I just kept thinking that they weren’t worth it. That they deserved each other, and that I deserved more.” 

I am glad I came tonight. After my interaction with Jon, I was left feeling unsettled and maybe even confused. I left the house feeling nervous, thinking I was walking into the date from hell, but I was wrong. Daario is a decent guy. He works in the music industry, more on the back side of things. Music promotion, tours and all that go along with getting a band known and loved. It was fascinating really to hear some of the stories he shared. It was also a job that was demanding and required long hours, which he said may have led to his ex-wife straying. To me, it still isn’t a good enough excuse. Cheating is something that isn’t tolerable. You are either with one person—all in—or you weren’t. It is that simple. 

“Well, if you ever need to throw it in her face that you’ve moved on without any lingering thoughts, I’d be happy to help you rub her loss in her face.” I try to be kind because even though he acts as if it still doesn’t bother him, I know it has too. Then I think how my words sound. I try to figure out how I can retract them to make it seem much more friendly and a lot less provocative. 

“You Daenerys, are a definite upgrade,” Daario says in a low husky tone, and I understand that it is too late to try. 

“Thank you,” I reply, feeling an awkwardness that I know I was responsible for creating. 

Missandei and I spend the next couple of hours laughing and enjoying the craziness between Daario and Jacob, Missandei’s current guy. They’ve been friends for years. Between the two of them, they have had hours upon hours of entertainment to share. 

I end the night with a sweet kiss to my cheek, as Daario tucks me inside my car with the promise of coffee as a second date one day next week. I drive home feeling relaxed for the first time in days.  

 

* * *

 

 

BY THE TIME Monday rolls around, I feel like shit. The horrendous cramps followed by bloating, and the impending doom make me so cranky it is easier to steer clear, safer too. Most months Jon knows when to avoid me and when to not push my buttons. I’ll admit it without a moment of hesitation; I am a raging bitch for precisely five to seven days every month. In fact, he’s become damn reasonable on these days, anything to avoid firing me up. But, tonight he seems to have forgotten this tactic, like all logic has gone right out the window. Jon can’t seem to help looking for ways to piss me off right now. 

I enter the living room, holding a big bowl of popcorn, when Jon rushes past me. He reaches out and grabs a handful of popcorn, dropping a few stray pieces to the floor in the process.

He doesn’t even attempt to pick them up as he grabs his keys and places his free hand on the doorknob. 

“Where are you going?” I try to rein in my annoyance and bend down to gather the mess he’s made. 

“Store,” he mumbles around a mouth full of popcorn. “I need to get some deodorant.” 

“Well, I need tampons,” I state and watch as he freezes, looking back over his shoulder at me with a look of confusion on his face. “You know the feminine hygiene section. Those things a girl shoves up her—“ 

He holds up his hand and starts to shush me. “I know where they go and why a girl puts them there.” He fakes a shiver. “What I don’t understand is why you are telling me that you need them.” 

“Well, genius, that would be because you’re going to the store already and grabbing them would save me a trip.” 

“I don’t go to that part of the store.” Jon still stares at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. 

“Yes, you do. They’re right around the corner from the condoms.” I don’t miss the way he gives me that questionable look, one that almost says, How would I know? I want to say that I’m not a prude, but think twice about it. “And what do you mean that part of the store? Like it’s some forbidden area, like the porn section in a movie rental place.” 

“First of all, I would go to that section over and over,” he confirms, wagging his brows, and I wrinkle my nose in disgust. “But there’s no point when I can log into Porn Hub or something like that on my smart TV, and lay back and relax. But the feminine hygiene area,” he air quotes the two words, “is, in fact, a forbidden zone for men.” 

“So you can wander to a woman’s intimate regions, but you can’t pick up a tampon that goes in that same area?” 

“Correct,” he exclaims, nodding as if I’ve finally gotten it. 

“You are such a pig.” He shrugs, blowing me a kiss and walks out of the door, almost skipping away in the process. My irritation level has gone from a three to an eight in a matter of minutes. I’ll get my tampons, I think to myself, and in the process, I am going to grab some pads too and make sure to stick the entire package, one by one, all over his bedroom. The only pleasure I‘ll get is knowing the look on his face when he has to touch them to remove them from his door, headboard, and walls.

 

That will teach him to act like a douche.


	5. "Reality Bites"

**JON**

 

“WHY ARE YOU POUTING?” 

I look away from the TV for just a second when Daenerys flops down on my bed beside me. I avoided her for the last week because I learned the hard way—during a specific time of the month, it is better to stand clear if you know what I mean. The woman is a beast. She perches herself at my side, on her stomach with her legs up in the air behind her, as she wiggles them around anxiously. 

“Not pouting.” 

She puckers up her lip at me, trying her best not to smile. “Always so cranky. I think we need to find you a friend.” 

“I have a friend,” I tell her, looking back toward the TV, when she squints her eyes in question. I am beginning to hate the word friend because it’s now a word full of complications. 

Daenerys reaches out and rubs her finger over the crease of my brows. “You’re gonna inflict wrinkles if you keep scowling.” I swat her hand away, and she laughs even more. I adore her smile, always have. Her happiness equals my own. Crazy but true. I think since we’ve been kids I’ve always strived for her to be happy like it’s my life mission. When Daenerys is upset, I feel her pain as if it were my own. 

She still is aligned next to me on her stomach, wearing a pair of those tight pants girls wear when working out. The kind that is so form-fitting you know when and if they are wearing anything underneath. Let’s just say that there is nothing underneath Daenerys’s pants. _Yes, I’ve looked_. 

If I’m being honest, I’ve looked a few times in the last few minutes. Luckily, Daenerys hasn’t looked my way. If she glances down south, she will find my sizable package standing at attention, applauding her no-panties decision. _Down, boy._

“I wasn’t referring to a friend as in the human form.” 

_Okay fine. I’ll bite._ “What kind of friend are we talking about then?” 

“They sell the kind of companion you need on those websites where they’ll deliver this said friend right to your front door. Because you, my best bud, are stressed out and irritable.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

“Silicone friend,” she replies with a smirk and then winks slowly and playfully, “or at least I assume they are silicone. They may even throw in some lube for nice and easy strokes.” 

“Are you honestly telling me to buy a pocket pussy?” I turn my body even more because I want to see her reaction. One thing about Daenerys is that she always gets embarrassed when certain words are exchanged between us. So, naturally, I up my dirty word vocabulary.

When her eyes widen, and she sits up on the bed, it only brings further attention to her upper body. A body that her tight little tank top barely covers. “Do you have to be so crude?” 

“Me?” I ask louder as I watch her hurry to get off my bed. “You’re the one that brought it up.” 

“No,” she counters, placing her hands on her hips and standing just to the side, “I said silicone friend. You said— 

“Pussy?” 

“That is such an unnecessary word.” She glares at me—as in a ‘if looks could kill’ glare— looking like she wants to say more, only she holds her tongue instead. Her mouth moves as if she is going to say whatever is running through her mind. Instead, she shakes her head just a fraction like she is clearing the thoughts away. Then she suddenly spins on her heels and walks toward my door. 

“Pussy, pussy, pussy!” I holler after Daenerys, smiling as I hear her groan in protest. 

In a way, it feels like I’ve won, but in all honesty, I have only managed to work myself up. A mixture of Daenerys, her barely-there clothes near me and the word pussy have my mind racing and body frustrated. Maybe she’s right; her suggestion will bring some relief to my fists after all.

 

* * *

 

AS I HEAD home from work, I make a detour to the small coffee shop that Daenerys introduced me to as a food craving hit me and won’t leave. I’ve been thinking about one of their cinnamon muffins since I’d gotten to work this morning after finding Robb scarfing down some cinnamon cake. The scent is close to the same, but nothing compares to Mrs. Trolley’s muffins. 

Standing in line, my back to the small seating area, I hear a laugh that I recognize immediately. Quickly, I turn around and begin to scan the area. My stomach tenses the moment I spot Daenerys. She is tucked back in a corner at a small table, too little for her to be sharing with anyone in my opinion. Especially the guy that is practically on top of her. His arm is stretched out over the back of her chair, he is leaning in, and she smiles up at him. Wearing a smile that I know I can’t claim, but I do. That fucking smile is all mine. 

I can see his lips move, and suddenly her head tilts back in laughter. The douche takes that time to look her over, from head to tits, pausing entirely too long on her chest. Fisting my hands at my sides, I ignore the girl behind the counter when she asks if she can help me. 

Watching Daenerys is like watching the worse fucking movie play out. She lowers her head, finally locking her eyes on him. Each second that passes only make my chest ache even more. It feels as if the entire event is playing out in slow torturous motion as I painfully watch. Though it hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt before, I force myself to continue to look at them. To watch this agonizing show. 

He lifts his hand and pushes back her hair, pausing to cup her jaw. His head dips, bringing his mouth even closer to hers. Again his lips move as she attempts to tuck her chin. However, from the way he grasps her face, she can’t move away too far. His movements only give him the angle he waits for to carefully descend on his target.

I want to scream: _No!_ I freeze, remaining silent. My hands fist so tightly at my sides they ache from the pressure. And then the moment the asshole’s lips touch hers, I have to look away. Turning back around to face the girl behind the counter who is now staring at me, her palms resting on the counter before her. 

“Can I help you?” She asks once more, her eyebrow arching in question. 

“Cinnamon muffins, please,” I say, feeling my throat burn. A scratchy sensation makes me feel as if I need to clear my throat. “Four to go,” I add. Even though I want to turn around and see what was happening, I refuse to give in and let Daenerys know I’m insanely jealous. 

Reality hits me like a smack to the face. Seeing Daenerys with a man, with any man, is so much worse than I imagined it to be. 

Once the bakery worker places the box of muffins on the counter, I give the girl a twenty and tell her to keep the change as I nearly scurry away. The need to rest after a long shift on duty no longer sounds as desirable as it once was. 

I know the things I am feeling are dangerous. But I’m not sure I can stop them. Worse than that? I’m not sure I want to stop them anymore. My fear of making a colossal mistake by following through with my desires for Daenerys can’t be any worse than the gut-wrenching desire I already feel. 

The need to touch her, to kiss her or even hold her close the way that dumb ass just was, eats away at me. It is clawing inside me like a blue-eyed monster, making it hard to concentrate. Until now, I’ve never had a problem being near Daenerys. She is almost a part of me, tucked away safely in the _friend zone_. 

We’ve always been together, always on each other’s side. Only now, being near her and not touching her like I desire to is nothing more than torture. I don’t know how long I can remain safely in the friend zone.

 

* * *

 

 

**DAENERYS**

 

“WHY IS IT SO QUIET HERE?” Missandei stands at the end of the counter as her eyes scan over the apartment. I thought it was my imagination, but to have her point it out without me mentioning it only makes the sick feeling inside me nag even more. “It’s never this quiet here unless Jon is working. Since his car’s downstairs, I know he’s here somewhere, so what gives?” 

“I don’t know actually.” I grab the two towels sitting on the end of the counter and begin walking toward her. “Jon’s been weird lately.” 

“Weird how?” 

“Distant.” I shrug as my eyes wander over the space and land on his closed bedroom door. “Irritable and cranky even. When he’s here, he mopes. I think something’s bothering him. Only when I ask, he tells me it’s nothing.” 

I look back toward Missandei and motion for her to follow me. 

Once we are outside the apartment and on our way to the pool area, I open up even more. 

“We’ve never had a problem talking things out.” I place the towels on the lounger and sit down on the end of the one to the left. “We don’t keep secrets; we never have. But now I feel like somehow I’ve pissed him off, yet instead of admitting it, he’s just ignoring me altogether.” 

“Maybe you should just force him to talk it out.” She plops down on the lounge chair next to me and stretches out her legs before her. “Lock him in a room, heck, you can even tie him up,” she says suggestively, wagging her eyebrows and smiling wide. “Could be fun. You never know, right?” 

“We’re talking about Jon,” I emphasize, reminding her of my friend, not admitting that my friend is also the lead in my hot fantasies. Instead of the reaction I expect, she shrugs her shoulders like it is no big deal. 

“You aren’t even going to attempt to convince me that you’ve never thought about him in that sense.” Before I can answer, she continues. “If you do, I’ll tell you now that something is severely wrong with you. That guy is yummy in every sense of the word, and he saves people as a job. Hello, hot firefighter, who can put my fire out anytime. Jon is delicious, and he legit saves people, Daenerys. Rescues those in need, holds babies close when they’re scared. You saw that article in the paper, the one when he brought that lady her baby. No one, including someone who claims only to be _‘best friends’_ of a guy like that can pretend that scene alone doesn’t melt your heart and your panties.” 

Instead of arguing, I sit back in my chair and stretch out. Looking up at our apartment door, I wonder what Jon is doing at this very minute. Is he sleeping or roaming the apartment now that he knows I’m not anywhere close? Is he dreaming of me like I dream about him? I wish. 

“How are things going with Daario?” 

I momentarily grow lost in my thoughts, my body jumping in reaction to Missandei’s voice, and turn to find her watching me with curiosity. “Fine,” I say in a rush. “He’s nice.”

“You don’t sound so sure.” I know that look, the one she wears when she knows something is up but decides to let it go instead. One of the things I love about Missandei most is that she’s there when I need her, but she is never overly pushy. 

“There’s no pull there.” I attempt to explain, though I knew I didn’t have to because my friend gets me. “I’m attracted to Daario because, let’s be honest, he is a good-looking guy, but I still feel like something is missing when I’m around him. We talk and he makes me laugh, but if I'm honest, I don’t think it’ll ever lead to anything more.” _How can it when I can’t stop fantasizing about my best friend? It’s not only my traitorous body, but my heart that wants more_. 

“I understand,” she relays, laying her head back and closing her eyes as she tilts her chin upward toward the sky, quickly letting the topic die. 

It is a beautiful day. The sun is bright and the heat feels great against my skin so I follow suit. 

I’m not sure how much time passes, but a shadow casts over me and I peek up through one squinted eye to find Jon hovering above. He looks down at me, his hands on his hips with a displeased look on his face. 

“Hey,” I barely squeak out, my voice shaky and unsure. Can he feel the heat in the air between us that feels hotter than the sun? 

“You know this apartment complex is full of guys who are most likely staring out their windows right now, perving on the both of you.” I arch my brow, still staring up at him, completely surprised that he is even talking to me. “And you’re gonna burn.” 

I glance at Missandei, who is looking between Jon and me. The smirk on her lips likely has a million different thoughts behind it, but she just watches silently. 

“Daenerys?” 

“Um, yeah.” I redirect my attention to the unhappy guy still hovered above me. “But I lay out here all the time,” I explain, finally able to look past my surprise, “and I know my limit as far as the sun. I have on sunblock anyway, but the heat feels good.” 

“As for the perverts,” Missandei picks that moment to finally chime in, “tell them to come on out here and get a closer look. As long as they’re cute and have strong arms, they can stalk us anytime. We’ll let them recoat us with another layer of sunblock.” Again, she does the wagging eyebrow thing that makes me laugh. 

Jon looks anything but amused. 

“Unless you wanna rub us down that is.” I see Jon’s jaw flex in reaction to her challenge. Instead of replying, he turns around and walks back to our apartment. The door slams loud enough to echo throughout the open area in the center where the pools are surrounded by the four buildings that make up our complex. 

“He’s so edgy.” I still can’t focus on anything but our apartment door. “He needs to get laid or something.” 

My stomach bottoms out at the thought. Something has to give because this weird rift between us had started getting to me.

 

* * *

 

WHEN I ENTER our apartment close to two hours later, I remain quiet for fear of waking Jon. He’s settled on our couch, a rare occurrence for him these last couple of weeks. He and I usually spent nights there watching television when he is off work, but lately, it feels so quiet around here. I hate the quiet. 

I pause near the end of the couch, just watching him sleep. His strong jaw is set, his arm stretches upward and is tucked beneath his head as the other lays over his stomach. He looks tense even in his sleep, and that bothers me. I want to know what’s wrong, but I push so much for answers only to come up empty every time. 

“What are you doing?” His lips move, yet his eyes remain closed. Has he been awake this whole time? “Besides standing over me like some creeper?”

“Just missing my best friend,” I quickly reply, the words tumbling from my lips without a second thought. I try to hide the emotion I feel when his eyes open and meet mine, penetrating me, but it is impossible. He knows me so well. 

“Come’ere.” Jon instantly holds his hand out, and I round the end of the couch, climbing over him. It is something I’ve done a hundred times. This time though, it feels different. I am still wearing my bathing suit, hot and sticky from the California heat, but it doesn’t seem to faze him. With my body pressed tightly to his, I bury my face into the crook of his neck. “I’m here." 

“It hasn’t felt like it,” I speak against his neck, my words sounding muffled. “You seem pissed all the time, that or you’re avoiding me. I’m not sure what I did, but I wish you would tell me so that we can work on fixing this.” 

“You didn’t do anything.” His arms wrap around me tightly as he holds me close. “I’ve just felt off lately.” 

“Off how?” 

“Work,” he explains though it doesn’t seem like a good enough explanation. I wait for him to continue. “Stress maybe? I don’t know, to be honest.” 

Lifting my head, I look up at him, and he does something that surprises me. He grips my hips and raises me to bring my face closer to his. He stares back at me. A few silent seconds pass between us and everything about this moment feels so intimate. “I’m sorry,” he whispers as he cups my cheek. “I don’t want you to think I’m mad at you.” I nod, because, quite frankly, I still feel a bit floored by the position we are in, combined with the current look that is on his face. Is that lust splashed across his face? Whatever this is right now, it only manages to enhance the uncertainty. When his thumb skims over my jaw, grazing over the corner of my mouth, my breath hitches. “Let’s go out.” 

“What?” I pull back, and his hand slips away from my cheek. Instantly, I regret the movement because it has interrupted the moment. 

“Get our friends together and go out,” he clarifies. “We haven’t done that in a long time, and, honestly, I could use a distraction.” 

For the first time in what feels like days, weeks even, he smiles at me hopefully. “Okay,” I agree, feeling like maybe this is a turning point in our reoccurring distance. “But I need to shower. Now that you’ve rubbed my ick all over you, you need to shower too.” 

Again something flashes in his eyes that I haven’t seen before, but he doesn’t speak. Instead, he picks up the couch pillow that has fallen on the floor next to him and playfully bops me over the head with it as I attempt to scurry away. 

“Hurry your ass up already,” he teases, still whacking me in the back as I try to move away from him. “And shave your legs because they feel like a porcupine.” 

I make the mistake of turning around to look at him shockingly. He then swings and I take a pillow to the side of the head. The direct hit to my head inflicts laughter in him, that deep chuckle that I’ve missed so much. 

“You need to shave your face, caveman.” Mine isn’t as good as his, and he knows it as he smiles triumphantly. That smile alone can melt me even when I am pissed or irritated with him. He may be my best friend, but Missandei was right: You’d have to be dead if you didn’t feel some attraction for Jon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooohhhhh...... something is definitely cooking...can you smell it??? I'm reading all of your comments and i just want to say... THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR SPARING SOME OF YOUR TIME TO READ MY STORIES...


	6. "Close...Sooo.. Close.."

**JON**

 

IT IS time for me to stop moping, time to stop avoiding Daenerys. The girl is too much a part of my life, and even I have felt her absence over the last week or so. I can’t avoid her. How is avoiding her even possible when everything in my life revolves around her in some way? It has for as long as I can remember. She has been there in everything I do. Every choice I ever make, I subconsciously think of what Daenerys would say. 

I guess I never realized it before . . . _until now_. 

This attraction I have for her feels crippling at times, and I was stupid enough to think that if I remained distant, it would just go away. The only thing it manages to do is make me want her more. Make me crave her touch, desire the feel of her body pressed to mine. The fear I felt long ago has diminished and is now replaced with a need to know. To know if what I am feeling is something she’s feeling too. 

Even as I sit at a high-top table surrounded by her friends and mine, she is all I can see. Her laughter rings out above all. Her smile is like a beacon of light I can’t ignore. I have never before been so aware of another’s person movements. So conscious of _each shift. Each look. Each breath._ It is almost like a switch has been flipped and the years of feeling nothing more than friendship no longer exist. It makes me wonder if the attraction has always been there, buried underneath the surface, hiding under the comfortable state we’ve lived in for so long. 

“You gonna watch her all night?” Robb nudges my elbow with his own. “Or you planning to do something about the shit you feel finally?” 

I look away from Daenerys who stands a few feet away laughing with Missandei and another girl they invited along. 

“I don’t know what you—” 

“Bullshit,” he interrupts, tipping his beer back and finishing the last of its contents. “ _I see it. I’ve seen it, and you can keep pretending it isn't there_ , but let me assure you it’s written all over your face. Every time she walks into a room, it’s almost like you know without even looking. You gravitate to her, and I know you both think that it’s because you’ve known one another for so long, _but I don’t buy that shit one bit._ You feel something, and she feels something, so I’m just wondering when the two of you are gonna face it.” 

“Is that Daario?” It is a question asked in Missandei’s high pitched voice that gains my full attention. 

I look up and find Daenerys, following her line of vision only to land on the asshole that kissed her in Mrs. Trolleys less than two weeks ago. He stands near the bar with a leggy blonde snuggled up to his side. The woman’s hands are all over him, his chest, and his ass, and he doesn’t appear to mind. 

“What an asshole!” Missandei exclaims as she takes a step in his direction but Daenerys stops her. I don’t know what she says as she leans in close to Missandei, but it doesn’t seem to make Missandei’s irritation weaken in the slightest. 

The girls are tipsy; they’ve been doing shots all night. I can see in Daenerys’s eyes that she feels good. But something about this guy rubs me the wrong way. The last thing I want is for him to be anywhere near Daenerys, but the idea that he’s dismissed her so casually pisses me off too. The girl he is with has nothing on Daenerys. 

I bolt out of the chair before I can talk myself out of it and stalk toward her. I faintly hear the sound of Robb saying, _‘About damn time,’_ as I move away from the table. Missandei is the first person to see me coming. “Can you believe that asshole?” She points toward the guy I now know as Daario. Loser Daario is what I’ll call him. “He called Daenerys last night talking about wanting to see her again and now look at him." 

“It’s fine,” Daenerys insists. “I told you that I wasn’t really into him anyway.” 

I know Daenerys well enough to know that even if what she says is true, it still bothers her to see a guy she’s been dating with another girl. In her mind, she is comparing herself to the other woman, wondering what that woman has that she doesn’t. 

Without another passing second, I move in and wrap my arm around her waist as I back her away from her friends. Her eyes grow wide with surprise and maybe appreciation before when I dip my head and bring my mouth closer to hers. “He’s an idiot.”

 

“It’s no bi—”

 

 _“You’re beautiful,”_ I confess, feeling excitement rush through me, one that leaves me lightheaded. “And whether you like him or not, you should know that he’s a dumbass for letting you go so easily.” 

The way she stares up at me, with one hand resting against my chest and the other on my arm, makes me feel weak. Her amethysts colored eyes, partially highlighted by the flashing lights around us, hold me captive in a trance. 

“Thank you,” she whispers, her eyes never once leaving mine. 

“Will you dance with me?” I deliver it more as a statement than a question because I’m already moving my body against hers. The way she feels in my arms is unlike how she’s ever felt before. _This is real. This is raw. This is everything._

I don’t kiss her, even though I want to more than anything. Instead, I remain close to her, holding her body against mine, refusing to allow even a small amount of space to form between us. I can feel each breath she takes as if it were my air too, each tremble of her hands as they continue to remain in the same position, and each beat of her heart that matches that of my own. Giving in to temptation, I stretch out my palm and place it against her back, slowly allowing it to sink lower. The feeling of the slight curve of her back just before it reaches her ass sends a jolt of electric- filled lust through me. My hand twitches to seek out more, but I fight the urge. 

_Slowly. I have to proceed slowly._

“What are we doing?” Daenerys questions, and I sense the nervous energy inside of her. “We’re dancing.” 

When she tries to argue, I move my mouth in closer and whisper near her ear. “Don’t.” I take a deep breath, fighting against the anxiety I feel from the idea of her pulling away. _“Don’t think. Just feel.”_

It takes a few seconds, but the moment I feel her body relax against my own, I swear the weight of the world lifts off my shoulders. 

Awareness sets in as her friends and my own watch us, likely wondering what happens next, a concern I share too. Looks of surprise and shock show on their faces. But there are a few that smile at us as if they expected this very thing and have just been waiting for the moment it all changed. 

One song rolls into another but I don’t even hear a word of any of them. The only thing I hear is the sound of Daenerys, her slow breaths in my ear, her heart beating rapidly just like my own. 

A fast beat now surrounds us, booming through the speakers. While the dance floor begins to fill, we remain planted in the same position, lost in the crowd that seems to swallow us up. It all happens so fast. The way she leans back and lifts her chin. The way her eyes lock with mine. The way desire clouds around us, filling the air, making us light-headed as if we were floating instead of dancing. 

“Jon.” That one word is all it takes. As my name falls from her lips and races through me, it gives me the last bit of strength I need to take this one step further. She moves in as I move in. Just as our lips touch, she is jostled away from me by two of her friends. 

“Oh my god!” The darker haired girl squeals. “Missandei just dumped a drink over Daario’s head!” 

Even with the news, her eyes remain locked on mine. Her chest rises and falls. The blissful look on her face is the same one from moments ago. The idea that our time may have been lost couldn’t be further from the truth. I can see it without her saying the words. 

_Our time isn’t over because it’s just getting started._


	7. “Show me”

**DAENERYS**

 

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” Missandei asks, stepping up to my side. 

“What the hell was that?” I repeat her question, referring to her need to drench Daario as I point toward the other end of the bar. 

“Please,” she answers, waving her hand out before her as if it was yesterday’s news, and then turns her body completely around to step in front of me, blocking my view of Jon. It is the first chance I'm able to think straight, no longer being caught in a mutual trance. “Like I said, what just happened with you and Jon? And before you decide you’re gonna feed me this, oh it was nothing story, let me tell you, it was most definitely something.” 

“I don’t know what it was.” There is no reason to lie or deny that something didn’t just happen. Hell, I may still be in shock from it all. “But whatever it is, I think I want more of it.” 

Missandei grabs my shoulders, shaking me, as she expresses her excitement freely. “Now that’s what I wanna hear. I’ve been telling you there is something there, and now you may finally listen.” 

I spend the next hour watching Jon watch me. A sexually-infused stare down that makes my pulse race. He smirks, as if he can almost hear the thoughts rolling around in my head, or maybe he has some of the same ideas himself. 

At one point, he steps up behind me at the bar, his entire body practically forming to the back of mine. I can feel every ripple, every ridge, and even the big bulge poking into my backside. 

“I’m buying,” he whispers, his lower lip touching the shell of my ear. Chills cover my neck and shoulders as my body shivers. “Cold?” I know he doesn’t truly need me to answer because he already understands what has inflicted the reaction within me. “Because if you are,” he whispers as he curls his body around mine, his arms circling me as he pulls me back even further against him. “We can skip out of here and go back home now, where I’m sure we can find more than a few ways to warm you up.” _Holy. Hot._

More chills invade my body, Jon’s effect engulfing me, as he slowly kisses the sensitive spot on my neck beneath my ear. “You want to know what is wrong with me? Why I’ve been so irritable and distant? It’s all because of you. I’ve been fighting this feeling I have for you, Daenerys. Trying to stay away from you.” 

I close my eyes, focusing on his words, words that finally confirm my own feelings. 

“But I don’t wanna fight it anymore, Daenerys,” he confesses, kissing me once more.“I’m done pretending that I don’t feel something for you other than friendship. It’s just too hard.” 

And just like that, my heart leaps inside my chest. 

“Tell me that you feel it too, this shift between us. I’m not just talking about tonight, but over the last couple of months.” I nod just before he takes the lobe of my ear between his lips and sucks gently.“There’s no going back from this, Daenerys,” I should feel fear because he is right, but all I feel is excitement to start the more part of our friendship. “Are you sure about this?” 

I turn to look at him, our lips so very close, and mutter, “I’m sure.” 

His gaze drops to my mouth before he brushes his own against mine. It is nothing more than a tease before he turns back to look at the bartender who has placed both my drink and his on the bar before us. He holds out the money, telling the guy to keep the change before he grabs his bottle and steps back, removing the heated pressure of his body from mine.I miss the feel of him against me immediately, and by the look on his face, I think he’s noticed. 

“Come on,” he urges, motioning toward my drink. “Let's go finish these drinks.” 

Reaching out, I lift my glass with shaky hands and begin to follow him on equally shaky legs. I sip on my drink, still watching him, only he doesn’t seem to notice. Or maybe he did but appears to be keeping his cool very well. He stands near his friends, his legs slightly parted, which only makes him even more alluring. His confident stance I’ve noticed before but never really took the time to analyze until now is present. Somehow he seems stronger, more potent, like a new found swagger has taken him over. Who am I kidding? He’s always had it, but now it is overpowering in a sense that it makes it hard to breathe. 

“Second thoughts?” Missandei asks from my side. Without taking my eyes away from him, I gave her a simple shake of my head. There is no way I am backing out now. When Jon said he’d been fighting feelings for me, the only thing I’d managed to think was _me too_. How can we both fight the inevitable? 

I just hope more than anything that going from best friends to more doesn’t backfire on us.

 

***

 

THE CAB SLOWS at the curb near our apartment. 

We’d left the bar, and immediately I curled up into Jon’s side on the cab ride home. I’d always loved the way he’d willingly hold me close, but after the night we’d shared, everything seemed to have more depth. The way he carefully brushed his fingertips over my shoulder. My body was completely aware of every single movement he made. Especially the way he linked his fingers of his left hand with those of my right, and then rested them against my thigh. 

His thumb gently stroking the palm of my hand, such a simple movement that seemed to hit my soul. My body was completely aware of every single movement he made tonight. Every touch was amplified. Every touch on my body was attuned to my heart. 

“We’re home,” he whispers, stopping my flashback about our turning point at the club, making me realize that I have to move away from him, even though I want to stay right by his side. 

Forcing myself to slide away from the comfort of his body, I reach for the handle and open the door. Once outside, I turn around just as he too climbs out after paying the cabby. His eyes lock on mine and he smiles, reassuring me as he reaches out and once again links his fingers with mine. 

We’ve walked side by side more times than I can ever count, taking this same path. We’ve done it while happy; we’ve done it while mad, but never have we done it like this. Like lust laced with love. With each step, my heart only races more. 

As we pass the pool toward the stairs that lead to our apartment, I remember the way he reacted earlier. Now I understand where those feelings came from, what inflicted his reactions toward me. I’d wanted him too, secretly hiding the feelings and burying them deep, but I’d felt that pull. I’d felt that need for something more but I’d fought and tucked away behind the fear of losing the one person who meant the most to me. 

As I pause in front of the door that leads to our place, he reaches around me and places the key in the hole. “I’ve got it.” All I can do is nod. 

The door pushes open, I step inside, and the light from the lamp that we'd left on gives us enough lighting to see each other. Turning around, I watch Jon as he too steps inside and closes the door behind him. The sound of his keys as they hit the table next to the door echoes in the silence, and I swear in that very second, I can hear the sounds of both of us breathing a little faster with anticipation. 

I kick off one high heel at a time as he keeps his eyes on mine, his chest rising, his shoulders lifting just before he exhales slowly. His hands fist at his sides and I imagine it is his way of keeping himself from reaching out for me. The only problem with that is that I want him to grab me and pull me close. 

So instead of waiting for Jon to fight whatever internal battle he is having, I step in closer toward him. “Tonight was fun,” I whisper, “but there was one thing missing. One thing I wanted that I didn’t get.” 

“What was that?” 

I reach out and place my hand against his chest, just over his heart. I feel the beat beneath my palm that seems to mirror my own. “A kiss,” I finally say, and he moves in quickly to close the distance between us. 

“Just one?” 

I shake my head and he smiles. “As many as you’re willing to give me.” 

“You may have just opened the door to something you aren’t fully prepared to accept.” 

“You don’t scare me, Jon,” I say playfully, but I mean it entirely. I’ve never trusted anyone more than him. 

His arms tighten around me, and I feel his excitement pressed against me. To ensure he understands I want this, I move against him, applying just enough pressure to his large erection. His response is a growl, as he leans in and bites my lower lip, gently tugging. 

“Show me,” I demand, as he releases my lip and looks over my face with careful consideration. It’s as if he’s giving me the chance to change my mind—only I know what I want and it’s him. 

“You should get to bed,” he whispers hoarsely after he leans back. Instead of allowing him to move away, I hold him closer.

I shake my head defiantly while trying to convey to him just how much I want it. How much I want him. “Don’t wanna sleep,” I protest, wiggling against him more. Suddenly, feeling the dominating confidence of my own, I let the moment take over, and I remember it is Jon with me. _Jon. My best friend._ I’ve known this man my whole life, and this is my chance to have him in a way I’ve imagined so many times before. 

“I’m not tired, in fact . . .” I pause, repeating his previous action of biting, gently tugging on his lip, and sucking it softly before releasing it. “Drinking always makes me feel like staying all night long doing things much more exciting and exhilarating.” 

“Daenerys,” he growls, trying to fight the hunger I knew he feels too. His words sound more like a plea as he allows his lips to brush over my jaw before he descends toward my neck. 

“Seems almost as if you feel the same,” I challenge, brushing my body against his hardness just enough to gain a reaction out of him. 

“You should stop,” he says in a shaky voice, sounding unsure. I use his hesitance to my advantage as I arch my head, opening my neck to him entirely. 

“I don’t want to stop,” I confess, feeling brazen and alive. “You want this. I want this. So why hide it? I say we stop thinking so much and feel what our hearts and bodies are telling us to feel.” 

His teeth sink into the side of my neck, just enough to make me moan. “I’m gonna wipe every other man from your mind,” he assures me as he begins backing me up toward my room. “All you’ll ever remember is me, and the way I make you feel.”

 

_“I’m counting on it.”_


	8. "It changes everything”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long for me to update.

**JON**

 

IT IS like the most vivid dream, a replay of all those nights I’d thought of her in my mind. Her silver hair is scattered over the soft pink color of her sheets. The dark raspberry shade of her panties still in place but nothing more. The way she looks up at me as I hover above her, as if I were a God, as if she were created for me. 

“You are so beautiful.” Her cheeks blush the sweetest shade of pink from my compliment, but I’ve never meant anything more than that. Daenerys is gorgeous, and the best part about it is that she knows it, yet hides it well. 

I watch her intently, my arms and legs trembling from the rush of adrenaline as her hands touch my chest. Closing my eyes tightly, I’m unable to fight it anymore. _Unable to fight us anymore_. So I lose myself in the way it feels. Slowly, delicately, almost as if she etches each dip to memory, she explores. 

“I’ve always wanted to do this,” Daenerys murmurs as she continues a path downward, over my chest and stomach, pausing at the waistband of my boxers just before hooking her fingers below the elastic. “I’ve dreamt of this time so many times that I should feel ashamed, but I’m not.” 

So many words linger in my mind, hanging from the tip of my tongue, but I can’t concentrate enough to speak. Feeling Daenerys explore my body where every touch is amplified is like nothing I’d ever felt before. 

My mind screams: _More. Touch more. Take more. Take it all, as I’ll give you everything._

And the second I feel her small hand engulf my cock, barely fitting around its wide girth and long length; I swear to God it takes all I have inside of me not to explode. “Jesus,” I growl, “I’m trying to control myself, Daenerys, but you’re making it almost impossible.” 

“Don’t,” she says, and I open my eyes to find her staring up at me. “Just let go. I don’t want you to hold back.” 

For a few seconds, I just watch her, giving her this one last chance to decide that we’ve already gone too far. One last chance to take the out and run back to that friend zone if she is uncertain. 

Of course, I pray like I never prayed before that she doesn’t rethink this, but I have to be sure she wants this as much as me. 

“Please don’t hold back, Jon,” Daenerys looks up at me, lust in her eyes, as she shifts her hips against me. Her legs part, wrapping around my waist, as she pulls my body in tighter to hers. “I want this. I want us.” 

It’s like something inside me snaps, and I lower my upper body, feeling her bare breasts pressed against my chest. Her nipples harden, her one hand is still wrapped around my cock as she carefully moves it up and down. 

My mouth covers hers and I begin to explore as our tongues tangle together. The taste of the fruity drink she had earlier, mixed with her sweetness, is the best thing I’d ever tasted. I want more with her. I want it all. 

There is hunger inside us both that leaves us crazed for more. _Slow isn’t in the cards. Not tonight._ This build-up forming between us is years in the making. The denying ourselves for far too long has left us both starving for each other. 

I kiss down the side of her neck, along her chest and continue to move lower, feeling her hand break free from my cock as she groans in protest. Looking up at her, I grin and she bites her lip seductively. _Holy fuck. That lip-biting is so hot that I almost combust before we get started._

Still, I watch her. Afraid to take my eyes off her from fear of missing her reaction, I continue to kiss along her stomach. “Jon,” she whispers my name, her hips lift off the mattress beneath us. A satisfied smirk covers my lips, knowing it’s me sharing this with her. _Marking her.Making her feel good._ It’s the greatest feeling. Everything about it and her are empowering. 

I pause just above her panties, trailing my tongue along the waistband, as she quivers beneath me. Her little pants fill the air and her hands fist the sheets at her side like she’s preparing for what is about to take place. With soft kisses, I continue. As I lower her panties, the enticing scent of her arousal makes my pulse quicken. She is waxed down there, and I smile because it’s precisely the way I imagined her to be in my dreams. 

Without being able to resist, I flick my tongue over her clit and her hips lift again as if in search of more. I proceed to assault Daenerys with my tongue, devouring all she has to offer. Daenerys shifts against me and moves even closer to my mouth, practically riding my face. 

“Oh my . . .” The words die on her lips as they change to a gratified moan. 

I want to say so many things. More than that, I want to hear her let go. With soft sucks and the presses of my tongue, I continue to taste her, giving her what she wants most. 

Daenerys is greedy and I love it. Her hand reaches out as she fists my hair, holding me in place, as her hips continue to shift. She grows demanding and, fuck me, it is terrific. 

“Right there,” Daenerys directs, “yes, don’t stop.” 

“Baby, I’m not stopping until you come all over my face.” 

Her fingers curl tighter in my hair, tugging at the roots, which only drives me more. I push my finger inside of her, curling it up to her g-spot, which triggers her to grip my hair tighter. 

Moaning loudly, she comes with such a force that I swear I see fucking stars from its rush. 

Instead of stopping, I continue to lick her softly as she comes down from the high with shivers radiating through her body. When her eyes open, she looks down at me and her cheeks redden. 

Beautiful, I can’t help but think before I begin kissing over her waist and moving up to meet her lips. She doesn’t even pause before combing her fingers into my hair again as she uses it as leverage to pull me in, deepening our kiss. “You drive me crazy, but in the best way,” she confesses, and I feel her free hand touch my waist as she starts to push my boxers down. I feel the urgency in her movements and decide to offer my help. 

Freeing my anxious cock from my boxers, she wastes no time before wrapping her hand around me once more. Her tight grip, the way she offers just a gentle twist as she trails her thumb over the head makes me feel hazy. 

I reach beneath her pillow in search of the condom I tucked there earlier. 

Together, we frantically place it on my throbbing package that’s already ready for Daenerys. Our hands shake, our breaths become ragged, and our gazes lock. 

I can feel her heat pressed against me as I glide over her, her hips lifting to ride out the contact. I pull back, and her disappointed groan from the broken contact flips something inside me, a satisfied feeling of a man pleasing his woman. 

A look of recognition passes over her with Daenerys practically reading my thoughts. She knows me well enough to understand that the knowledge of her needing me as badly as I need her satisfies me. 

“Stop stalling,” she nearly purrs. 

Without another second of pause, I slowly sink into her, fighting the urge to let my eyes roll back. So tight and so silky, being inside Daenerys feels like pure ecstasy. 

Wholly seated, I freeze from the rush of being inside of her “You’re _so_ tight…baby..”and the look of awe inflicted on her face. Her mouth is slightly parted and her eyes droop almost as if she is drunk on me alone. 

I begin to move, slowly building up my pace just to feel her writhe under me, she grab my shoulders and moan a little, which I answers with a guttural noise of my own. With each stroke, I stretch her, edging deeper… claiming her. “God, Dany,” I growls against her ear. “You feel… incredible.” 

“It’s… so intense.” They are the only words I can get out. I take her face in my hands, and I slide her leg further up to my back, rocking my hips to meet her. We move like that, enjoying the intensity of the pleasure of being together. 

“I can’t… much longer,” she says, her eyes are locked on mine as I continues that hard, deep stroke. “I’m close,” she says, breathlessly. She searches my eyes, then raises a brow. I nod, begging her to give me everything. 

I shift my weight from my palms to my forearms, laying closer to her, and begins to move faster, pounding harder. _So…so deep._ I am giving all my love, passion and attention trying to reach places deep inside her that other man haven’t been touched before. 

“I’m coming,” she cries. 

“Me too,” I sigh, “So… close.” With those words, I tumble over the crest, a ripple of pleasure surging through every nerve. 

With each thrust we both lose ourselves in one another, and forget there is anything else outside this moment we share. 

I pounds, deeper, urgent, until we we’re both spent.

 

***

 

I WAKE UP ALONE, stretching out my arm instantly in search of Daenerys’s warm body. Disappointed, I find nothing but cold sheets, confirming she’d gotten out of bed long ago. 

I quickly find my boxers on the floor by the bed and slip them on as I step out of her room and into the living room. It is still dark out, just the casted light of the courtyard surrounds the pool and filters in through our windows. I find her sitting on the couch in the darkness. Her legs are tucked up to her chest as she stares off at nothing in particular on the wall opposite her. A feeling of fear hits me like a brick wall. My legs move before I can stop them. 

As I round the end of the couch, she turns and looks up at me, her eyes glistening with tears. Her anguished look hits me is like a punch to the gut. Sitting next to her, I grip her face in my hands. “What’s wrong?” 

She tries to deny that anything is wrong as she usually does when something’s bothering her. Her head shakes as she attempts to turn away from me. 

“Daenerys,” I say softly, as she lets out a ragged breath, her eyes meeting mine once more. “Talk to me.” 

“I’m scared, Jon. I don’t want what happened to change us.” 

I stare at her, unsure of what to say, my mind reeling with fear of losing her. A million different scenarios race through my head and I am terrified that I have messed everything up. 

“But it does change us,” I confess, unable to lie. “It changes everything.” 

She closes her eyes tightly, and a tear falls over her cheek that makes me feel so raw. 

“We’re still us, Daenerys,” I assure her, feeling myself backpedal. “We’re still Jon and Daenerys, lifelong best friends. We’re still here for each other, but now we’re better than before.” I hate the way she looks back at me with such an unsure look in her eyes. “We’ve never kept secrets, but lately we’ve both kept one huge one. Now, our feelings for each other are out.” I lean in and softly kiss her, resting my forehead to hers. “This makes us better. It makes what we had before even stronger now.” 

I am desperate to hear her tell me she feels the same. I have to know that what is happening between us is not something she regrets. “I don’t wanna lose you.” 

_Fuck me._ A hollowed feeling filters inside me, one that aches so much. “You’ll never lose me.” Leaning back, I still hold Daenerys's face in my hands, forcing her to look at me. _“Never.”_

Daenerys is my rock. Could I live without her? Yes, but I never wanted to face that kind of darkness. When she nods, I still get a sense that she isn’t entirely convinced. Standing from the couch, I bend slightly and scoop her up in my arms. Carrying her back to her room, I tuck her in and climb in beside her. Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her body tightly to my chest, holding her firmly. 

“It’s you and me, Daenerys, just like it’s always been.” Again she nods. “Only now I get to kiss you.” 

I feel her body shake gently with laughter, and though I still felt raw from her words she spoke only moments ago, I know she’ll be all right.

 

_I refuse to allow her not to be._


	9. “We’re a team; we always have been.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something to read while waiting for our turn to episode 1... Valar Morghulis

**DAENERYS**

 

“SO NOW YOU’RE TOGETHER?” Missandei asks as I shift in my seat beside her. “And before you answer, just know that I am all for it because that man is yum with a capital Y.”

Just from her description of Jon alone, I can’t keep from smiling. “I guess we kinda are.” 

“You guess?” 

“Well, I think we’re a little too old to be saying, _’ Do you wanna be my girlfriend,’_ but from the way he’s acting, that’s what we are.” It feels weird talking about him like that. He’s always been my best friend; it is how I refer to him always. “Things are definitely different.” I smile as I think about our morning. The way he woke me up as he climbed over me. He was naked, sheathed and ready, and I willingly parted my legs to welcome the rather large intrusion. Feeling him was much better than sleeping. 

“You have that _do me_ look in your eyes.” 

I quickly close my mouth and look around us to ensure no one else heard her or saw me fantasizing. 

“Shh,” I attempt to appear embarrassed, though I am anything but. 

“It’s good,” Missandei says, regaining my full attention “isn’t it?” When I don’t answer her, the smile on her face only grows wider. “I always knew that man would be dynamic in bed.” With a shake of her head and a gleam in my eye, our professor enters, interrupting our conversation. I am happy actually because it gives me time to reminisce alone in my memories of the weekend and that morning. I can’t imagine a second of it being any better than it was. 

After class, we stop by Mrs. Trolleys and order our favorite coffee. Immediately, I place an order for a half a dozen cinnamon muffins with Jon in mind. I can’t say I’ve never done that very thing before, because I’ve always gotten things for him over the years. But now it feels different . . . hard to explain. Before, it was more of a way to keep him from being moody or nagging me about not getting him what I knew he’d want. Like I saved him the trip kind of thing. Now, it is as if he is there in my thoughts—a welcome intrusion—and I can’t help but smile happily as I picture myself offering him the box of goodness. Oh, and of course he will give me a kiss of appreciation that may lead to some touching and tasting and . . . _well you know._

I turn around and lean back against the countertop as I await my order, immediately looking around the room. Missandei is rambling on about some girl in her apartment building. To be honest, I’m not really paying attention because it is always the same with her. Her neighbor is her one major annoyance. I think it is more a jealousy thing because that girl is a knockout, and the guys she dates are like underwear models that inflict some major panting sessions from just one glance. I think Missandei secretly envies the action the girl gets and wants it all for herself. Not that I can blame Missandei. 

I am just about to tell her to be kind to the girl and maybe she’ll hook her up with a hottie when my eyes land on a tall man in the corner. He’s at the same corner table where he’d sat with me not that long ago. Friday night it was a blonde girl; today it is a brunette. I shake my head and laugh, actually thankful that he and I had not gone any further than we had because Daario is a player. It’s now obvious that he is not the one gal kind of guy. 

“What are you looking at?” Missandei begins to look around, and I see the moment she notices what I had. There is no need to explain. She scrunches her face up in disgust, taking a step forward, only I reach out to stop her. 

“Let it go, Mama Bear,” I tug her back at my side. “We should both be thankful that his true colors shone before I became just another one of his gaggle of girls. Besides,” I reply with a shrug when she looks back at me, “I got to spend the weekend wrapped up with someone much better and much hotter.” 

“A definite upgrade for sure,” she says with a smile. _I couldn’t agree more._

“Here’s your order.” I turn around to grab my goodies. With our arms linked together, Missandei and I leave. Twenty minutes later we are camped out on my living room floor, our studies spread out in front of us. Coffee and snacks in place, we start to quiz one another. 

I met Missandei during my first year of college. She too was majoring in veterinary medicine, and we shared about our dreams of opening up a clinic together after we got out into the real world. It was an exciting thought because if I were to pick someone to be my partner, it would be her. She rocks and keeps me on my toes too. She may be a little wild in the guy's department, but Missandei is smart and loyal. She is also total opposite of me: loud, proud, and straightforward. I, on the other hand, usually keep my opinions hidden rather than voicing them. 

The sound of the door being opened sends out a rush of excitement through me as Jon steps through the entrance. “Hey.” I smile when his eyes lock with mine. Damn, he is a gorgeous sight, and I wonder if seeing him after a long day will always feel this good. I want to tackle him to the ground and kiss him stupid, but I hold back. 

“Hey,” he says in return and offers Missandei a nod. 

“I got you muffins.” I look him over from head to toe and back up again, finding him with a knowing smirk on his lips. “Cinnamon,” I say, feeling a little warm after being caught appreciating his fine assets. 

He drops his bag to the floor, and I remember not so long ago being annoyed severely by that very thing. It is weird how now that it no longer bothers me. He walks in my direction instead of toward the kitchen. With each step he takes, my heart races faster. 

“You know what I like,” he says. Now it’s his turn to eye me up and down slowly and seductively, causing a smirk to form on my face this time. 

“Like what you see?” My sassy side can’t help but reply to his visual body check. 

“Oh I like what I see a lot.” Jon volleys back, his smirk now a wide grin. Slowly he lowers himself to the floor in a crouching position. Mere seconds later, he cups my face with his palm and brings his lips to mine, teasing me slightly with a swipe of his tongue before he pulls back to my dismay. “You taste so good.” 

My pulse quickens, and I swear I hear a humming in my ears. 

“Oh my God,” Missandei whispers. Both Jon and I look over to find her wide-eyed with a look of awe on her face. I know she is about to say something that most likely has no filter. “It’s like seeing a two-headed snake or a purple elephant. I swear, I’ve seen this coming for you two for so long but to actually watch it play out just feels like a dream taking place before my very eyes.” 

Jon and I say nothing and only stare at her. I can’t decide if I want to roll my eyes at Missandei or laugh. I, of course, appreciate all of her crazy because it is one of the many reasons why I adore her so much. Judging from the look on his face that shows he’s trying to stifle something, Jon may also want to laugh or tell her to leave. 

“Anyone ever told you that you’re strange?” 

I push against his side and he falls against the couch laughing. 

“Say whatever you want to say, Jon, but I’ve been around for the last few years and have noticed many things take place between the both of you. The way you watched her when she wasn’t looking or the way her eyes followed you almost on their own free will unwilling to miss even a second of your movements. I knew this was coming long before the two of you decided to pay attention to the feelings you’ve kept bottled up inside.” 

Jon looks at me and I shrug. 

“You must realize that I’m her go-to girl who gets all the juicy details.” Missandei winks and I feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment, unsure why because I haven’t given her much detail. _“The soothing power of your kisses or the calming of your touch.”_ I wrinkle up my forehead in confusion, but she refuses to look at me. _“Then there’s the way you move, that elongated sway of your hips dragging out the pleasure.”_ Wait he did do that, but I never told her. _“Plus, you should hear the things she said you can do with your tongue.”_

“What?” I lunge for her, and she falls back laughing as Jon hooks me around the waist. 

“I wanna hear about these things I do with my tongue,” he says near my ear as he bites the side of my neck. 

“You know what you do,” I assure him as I try to free myself from his hold. Before I know it, I’m on my back with him firmly holding my hands above my head. The smoldering look in his eyes gives me chills—yet I suddenly feel heated too. “I never told her anything.” My voice sounds breathless, matching how hot and bothered I am. I am in so much trouble if being near Jon is all it takes to want to jump him this badly. 

“I think I wanna try that elongated sway later, maybe drive you crazy with my tongue too ,” he whispers in my ear, delivering more shivers throughout my body. **_Yes. Please. Now._** “But I’ll leave you ladies to finish up while I attempt to satisfy this hunger I have with my muffins.” He leans in, pressing his lips to mine. Before pulling away completely, he nips at my lower lip, only adding to my already heightened need. Jon then leans down near my ear once more before making his grand exit. _“But just so you know, your muffin tastes so much better.”_

I remain frozen in place, unsure if I could actually peel myself off the carpet even if I tried. My body feels like a pool of jello, all relaxed and weak. We didn’t even have a marathon of intense sex, but Jon’s words are some damn aphrodisiac apparently. 

I watch Jon lean back, stand up and then move away from me with a satisfied gleam in his eyes. I usually would challenge him or knock him down off the pompous pedestal on which he is now so naturally perched. The problem is that I now know he can back up every one of those dirty words with the delicious things he does to my body. 

_So damn good._

_Too good._

 

_***_

**JON**

 

“YOU DON’T KNOW how happy it makes me hear that you and Daenerys are together.” I run my hand over my face and look to the girl sleeping at my side. Her silver hair sticks out around her, fanning out like a goddess, those curls a bit wild from tossing and turning in her sleep. “You know we’ve always loved her like our own.” I smile at my mother’s words. Though my mom is a meddling crazed woman at times, I also love her something fierce. She’s a fantastic person, so warm and accepting. 

“It’s been a long time coming, Mom.” Though I tried to run from it, ignore it even. _Tried to deny it. Tried to deny us._ I don’t think anything would’ve stopped us from eventually happening. But it surprised me that everyone around us seems to notice something that took Daenerys and me years to figure out ourselves. “It does feel strange in a sense though.” For a second, I forget that I’m talking to my mother. “Never imagined I’d be kissing my best friend.” 

Her laughter snaps me out of my haze, and I mentally chastise myself for my slip up. Then I feel the shift of Daenerys against me, her body shaking with laughter of her own. I look down just as she tucks her face into my chest a little more. Her hand fists my shirt tightly. 

“I couldn’t be happier,” my mother adds just as I begin to tickle Daenerys. Her laughter grows as she twists around, trying her best to escape my assault. “Tell Daenerys I said hello, and I love you both.” She ends the call and I assume it’s because my mom knows we need our time alone. 

Dropping my phone off the side of the bed, I lift my body and turn toward Daenerys. Grabbing her hips, I pull her down toward me before I climb over her, using the weight of my body to hold her securely beneath me. “Stop.” She wiggles and tries best to break free but she isn’t going anywhere while trapped under me. 

“Hold still,” I say, chuckling as she glares up at me, “I’m not done tickling you.” 

“Yes, you are.” Again she tries for the serious look, the one that has never worked for her, not with me anyway. I know her too well. Daenerys doesn’t scare me. 

“But I like feeling your body moving against mine,” I murmur while gliding my hand along her side. She quickly attempts to swat at my arm, but I move faster as I take one of her hands in each of mine, bringing them above her head. She feels so small and so delicate in comparison to me. 

With one of my hands, I pin both of hers above her head, and her eyes widen just a fraction when she realizes just how convenient she’s made it for me. I softly run my hand over her side once again and she shivers as her hips shift around, trying to buck me off of her. “Jon,” she says my name as a warning this time. Daenerys’s nostrils flare, her eyes narrow, and I hook the hem of her tank top and start to lift. My fingertip skims over her side, causing her body to jerk. “I’m gonna pay you back for this.” 

“I hope so,” I reply with a smirk, causing her to glare even harder at me. “I’m not ticklish, but I’d love to lay back while you thoroughly explore every part of me just to be sure.” 

“You’re a fiend,” she declares, trying to hide the amusement that the corner of her mouth displays as it tilts upward. 

“You like me that way.” She doesn’t answer me as I move in closer and kiss the corner of her mouth. 

“I like us this way.” Her confession lights me up inside. 

“This feels so right. We feel so right, Daenerys.” Again, I kiss her and her body relaxes beneath me. “The only thing I regret is holding on to my feelings so long without expressing them. Too much time was wasted that I could’ve been with you.” 

When I pull back, she looks up at me and still remains quiet. It worries me for a second that maybe this isn’t the same for her as it is for me. 

Then she tilts her chin upward as her lips part. “Kiss me,” she whispers hoarsely. Wasting no time, I press my lips to hers, and her legs part as she wraps them up and over my hips, linking her ankles together behind me. 

“Tell me this is all gonna be okay,” she says with a bit of uncertainty in her voice. I start to pull back, but she breaks free of my hold. Her hand wraps around the back of my neck, holding me in place. “My biggest fear is that this backfires on us and I lose you. I don’t know how to live a life without you in it.” 

“You can’t get rid of me, Daenerys. I’m here to stay.” 

“Promise?” Her voice is a desperate plea. 

“I promise.” I kiss her again and rest my forehead to hers. “We’re a team; we always have been.”

 

***

 

I SLIP my foot into my boot and tie it securely. I’d been called into work due to a car accident along Red Keep Highway with multiple injuries. It is a common place where things like this happen, especially with inexperienced drivers not using caution along the stretch. Many times the outcome wasn’t what the rescuers hoped for, which seems to be the case here. 

Five cars, two over the cliff and the third just barely hanging on, is the description given. I’ve been recruited to be on one of the two copters that would focus on the two cars that had descended into the canyon along with the rocky slopes. 

It is just barely five in the morning, and I’d left Daenerys’s bed already feeling the absence of her warmth. She was like a cozy little kitten, the way she curled her body tightly against mine. I’ll admit that until now, I’ve never really been the cuddling type. 

I hurry around the apartment and do my best not to interrupt her. 

Robb is already waiting downstairs, and I jump into his jeep before we speed off. “Coffee?” He points toward the cup holders in the center. 

“You had time to make us coffee?” I reach out and lift the second cup, taking a sip. 

“I didn’t,” he says, and I look over just in time to see a big smile cover his lips. “Let’s just say I haven’t gone to bed yet and I’m riding high on a cute little dark blonde I met a few hours ago.” 

Shaking my head, I don’t even ask, but that doesn’t stop him from giving me more information that I want to hear. 

“We were just getting ready to go for round two when the call came in. Apparently, the woman likes me and wants me to return to her safely because she hurried off to make my partner and me a cup of coffee,” he chuckles. “I may keep this one around for a bit.” 

“Do you even know her name?” 

“Yes,” he quickly replies but pauses too long, indicating that he has no fucking clue. “It’s Maggie or Majory.” His brows wrinkle in deep thought. “No, her name is Margery.” He seems pleased with his final answer. 

I’m glad to finally arrive at Station 114 where the other guys are already set up, and the copters are waiting. Things then go into overdrive. 

We are geared up, strapped in and lifting off within minutes. 

It is always harder to work in the dark, especially with these types of rescues. My adrenaline is pumping, and even though my mind is on the sweet girl I’d left in bed not that long ago, I am also focused on the task ahead. 

We have no idea what we are going to find. There is one copter for each of the overturned cars that had gone beyond the cliff after impact.  An SUV and a smaller vehicle is the only information given. We have no idea the number of passengers in each or whether we would find them alive. Fear rolls through me, as we inch closer to the scene, which makes my blood pump faster. 

One of the hardest things I’ve found about the job is no matter what you do or how hard you try, you can’t always save the person you’re sent out to rescue. I’m still haunted by a few that I knew were gone before I got there, but it never makes it any easier to accept. 

“There they are,” Shae, our pilot, announces as she looks out the left side of the copter. “One light is out. Looks like the back end is resting just inside the dip between two larger rocks.” 

Lights are all around, those of ambulance, cops and even spotlights shining downward. It lights up the area a bit, yet still leaves the situation hard to evaluate. 

“Strap up.” Gendry taps my shoulder as he hands me the pulley. “We’ll go down together, evaluate the situation and then decide on our plan of attack.” I only nod, as I hurry to prepare myself. 

On the count of three, both Gendry and I are lowered to the crash area below. I scan the area, looking for our best options. The closer we get, the more we can see that the vehicle has apparently rolled many times before landing in its current position. Shae was right: it is lodged between two large rocks, the ass end of the car pinned. The windshield is so smashed up that it is impossible to look through and get a clear image of what remains hidden inside. As I hang freely at the side of the vehicle near the passenger side, I notice the blood on the window, which makes my stomach tighten. 

“We’ve got a passenger in the front!” I holler out toward Gendry and shine a flashlight over the vehicle. “Can you see into the back?” 

“Empty!” Gendry shouts in return. “Can you open the door on your side?” 

“No,” I say, already giving it a try. “It won’t budge.” 

We both move around and try to find our way inside. Rocks start falling down from above. A large rock bounces off the hood of the car and ricochets. “What the fuck?!?” I look behind me, wondering what in the hell the assholes above us are doing. 

“Lower me down a little more,” I direct through my earpiece with attached mic. “I need to get to the back of the vehicle. There’s no way to access the passengers from the front without possibly injuring them further.” 

We still aren’t sure if they were dead or alive so I have to remain cautious. We can’t tell the passengers to cover their heads because they are unresponsive. Knocking out the windows of the front may further their injuries. So our best option is for me to go through the back and break out the glass since the back doors are almost entirely covered by the large rocks on each side. 

“If I knock out the back glass, it should give me further access,” I tell Gendry. “I can get inside, check for a pulse, cover them both, and then we can break out the windshield or the side glass and take them out from there.” He nods his head just as I start to descend further. Gendry is a big guy, around six two, and built like a brick house. My build is smaller than his so I'm our best option in this situation. 

I guide myself around the vehicle with one hand. Reaching the back, I use the more massive rock to hold myself securely. “Give me a little more,” I demand, and the coils lower even further. I need enough give to be able to climb inside without restriction. 

A loud boom sounds as I look up just in time to see another rock bounce off the roof of the car. “What the hell are they doing up there?” 

Then I feel it, the vibration of the ground, the rattle of the car, as it gives way and shifts further. “Hold on!” I hear someone shout through my earpiece. 

I grip the car on instinct, unable to grab on to anything else. It isn't a strong earthquake, but in my current position, it feels much worse. As a pain shoots through my arm and shoulder, I fall back and am left hanging except for my left arm, which is now pinned beneath the back corner of the car. 

It feels like it is being ripped off at the shoulder. A searing pain, more excruciating than anything I’d ever felt before, makes me shout out in response. “Jon,” says Gendry, “you alright?” 

“No,” I anxiously reply, as I scramble for the rock, trying to gain some leverage. “I’m pinned.” There is nothing to grab onto within reach. The car shifts again above me and fear shoots through me as I imagine the vehicle coming down and crushing me. 

_This is it, this is how I’ll die. I don’t want to die._

Thoughts of Daenerys and my mother fill my head. The idea of never being able to hug either of them again is almost as painful as what I feel physically. It is all too much. What I wouldn’t give to be back home in bed with my girl curled up against me. I want to feel her wild hair tickling my nose and hear her soft breaths as she sleeps soundly.

 

_Please let me make it home to Daenerys._


	10. "Mission over, buddy"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just wondering... what happens to other stories here in AO3? did their author abandoned them? I miss them..
> 
> I really hope they continue their work.

**DAENERYS**

 

WHEN I WAKE UP ALONE, a sense of disappointment hits me. Waking up to Jon is my favorite part of the day and when he’s not by my side, I miss it terribly. It was strange at first, but we haven’t actually slept separately since our first night together. 

I don’t even bother to get dressed after climbing out of bed. Wearing only a tank top and underwear, I head to the kitchen and flip on the coffee maker. I hoped I’d find him there, or even in the living room, but when I notice his duffle bag next to the door is gone, I realize he’s been called into work. 

The idea that I’ll most likely have to wait until tonight to see him again is another disappointment. I have classes, and then I’m supposed to help Missandei rearrange her apartment afterwards. As if there were a lot of options since she lives in a loft. 

There is literally one large room that is completely open. Apparently, she’s decided that her bedroom will look better in the back corner near the kitchen instead of the front near her living room. I am dreading it because I know that she’ll eventually recruit me to move it all back. You can only do so much with a small space. I don’t care how you set it up; it won’t make the tiny box any bigger. 

I flip on the television, and the comforting smell of coffee fills the apartment. I hurry back to the kitchen, lifting the cup from its poised spot under the pot, and begin adding entirely too much creamer. It is an ongoing joke between Jon and me, and has been for years. By the time I’m done doctoring it up just the way I like it, it is so light in color that it looks tan. 

That is when it is the best.

 

_RIGHT NOW WE are reporting from Red Keep where we have a rescue gone bad situation._

 

I HEAR the sounds of a news reporter speaking, the rescue gone bad situation part jolting me alert more than the coffee I’m drinking. Stunned, I move around the end of the countertop to get a better view of the television in our living room. One word consumes me: _Jon._

 

_IT WOULD APPEAR we have two vehicles that descended over the edge of the road after a five-car accident. One vehicle’s passengers have been recovered, but the second vehicle’s condition is still being accessed. What started out as a rescue mission by KL Fire and Rescue has left us at a standstill. At 5:42 this morning there were reports of an earthquake at the magnitude of 3.8. This type of quake is prevalent in our area, but it has only furthered the severity of this mission. We have one of the rescue personnel that was brought in to retrieve the passengers of the second vehicle now trapped as well._

 

MY HEART RATE speeds up as I move slowly toward the television, my hands gripping the coffee cup tighter.

 

_REPORTS SAY that the shift of the vehicle during the quake now has one of the rescuers pinned beneath the SUV. They are working on securing the SUV so that it doesn’t shift further, trapping the man._

 

THE FOOTAGE SHOWS a helicopter hovering above and then pans to a man that is dangling freely near an overturned vehicle. The shot is too far in the distance to see much of anything, but something in my heart tells me the answer I don’t want to hear. Tears well up in my eyes as I sit on the couch, knowing that at any moment I could crash to the floor unwillingly. 

Just then, a closer shot fills the screen, and the only thing it shows is the lower half of a man. He is hidden mostly by the vehicle as a second man hangs freely near him.

 

_LIEUTENANT JON SNOW, a rescuer with a team, sent in to bring the passengers of the vehicle to safety, now finds himself in a critical situation._

 

AN UNCONTROLLABLE WEEP escapes me as I cover my mouth with my hand, lowering my cup of coffee to the table nearby.

 

_WE ARE BEING TOLD that both people within the vehicle have since been secured, but are unaware of their full condition. Teams are now working to ensure the safety of Mr. Snow as we all await the outcome._

 

THE CAMERA FLASHES to another scene where it shows the road above, and I find myself angry that they’ve taken away my view of Jon. I have to know if he’s going to be okay. 

I am lost. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who to call. I can’t help but feel helpless as I pray out loud for Jon's safety. My hands shake while my body vibrates with cries as I stare at the television, practically begging for it to once again return to the area where Jon resides. 

The sound of my phone ringing has me moving toward it, as I practically trip over the rug in the hallway in the process. 

“Hello,” I say in a rush, not taking the time to even look at who is calling. 

_“Have you seen the news?”_ Missandei asks. By the tone in her voice, I already know she has. I nod my head as if she can actually see me, wiping away the tears that fall down my cheeks. _“Daenerys, turn on the news.”_

“I’ve seen it,” I finally speak. A chiming noise dings in the background. _“I’m on my way over.”_ Again, all I can do is merely nod in my robot-like state. _“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”_

“Okay.” I don’t even end the call; I just lower the phone to my side and stand in the center of my bedroom. I look at the bed that Jon and I slept in just last night. Closing my eyes, I can almost hear his voice.

 

_“WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED you were such a cuddler?”  
_

_“I never had anyone worth cuddling with before now.” I smiled as I buried my head against his chest a little more.  
_

_“So, it’s because of me,” I could already sense his arrogant grin without taking the time to look up at him. “Is that what you’re trying to tell me, Ms. Targaryen?”  
_

_“Maybe.” It was most definitely what I was saying.  
_

_“I’m glad this happened ya know.” I turned my head and tilted it upward—only to find him looking down at me too. “Us,” he added just as he lifted his hand and pushed my hair away from my face. “I’ve been worried for so long that me making a move would be the worst thing I could do. Fearful that you’d feel differently and it’d drive a wedge between us. But now that we’re here,” he confessed before swallowing hard, his throat bobbed. “I just wanted you to know.”  
_

_“Me too,” I barely squeaked out past the burning sensation in my throat and chest.  
_

_He dipped his head, gently placing his lips against mine. It was a sweet kiss, one that made the ache instead me settle. A soothing comfort filled its place as we curled in tighter to one another and fell asleep._

I DON’T KNOW how long I stand there reminiscing, but the sound of the doorbell indicates it has been longer than a few minutes. On shaky legs, I move toward the door. The instant it opens, Missandei rushes inside. 

“Any more news?” 

I don’t even know because I was lost in my thoughts, floating back to last night. Before all this . . . before the fear, it was a safe place free from reality for a moment. 

“I don’t know.” Tears fall, uncontrollable tears, and I allow Missandei to guide me to the couch where we sit side by side, holding hands as we stare intently at the television.

 

***

 

I’VE CRIED SO MUCH that my eyes are burning and my nose feels raw from blowing it so much. 

Jon’s mother and father, Lyanna and Arthur, sit on the bench seat only a few feet away. After they received the call about Jon, they’d gone straight to the hospital where we awaited Jon’s arrival. They insisted I joined them, and I was so grateful for the offer. Missandei is still here too, and the four of us sit quietly, focusing on the television like it is our lifeline. At this time, it is our only connection to him and the situation. The only thing we have is the news while we are forced to wait. 

Jon’s father wanted to go straight to the scene to be there when they freed Jon. I understand his need to be closer to his son instead of being trapped here with no answers, but the reality is he is still trapped hundreds of feet down by an SUV as helicopters hover above. It would be impossible to get to him, so awaiting his arrival here was our only option. Teams of rescue personnel still work diligently to free him and there is absolutely nothing we can offer to assist. 

This is the hardest part. The waiting. The uncertainty. The anguish of it all. Seeing the matching looks on Jon's parents’ faces, I know they feel it too. 

I’m empty. My stomach is so tight with anxiety that it leaves me feeling ill. I know nothing will ease the hollowness inside me except Jon. His safety is all I want.

Nothing means more. No one means more.

 

*** **  
**

**JON**

  

“HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP?” I look up toward Gendry who has never once left my side. A concerned look on his face matches the feeling I have inside. “Just wondering how many clowns it takes to free one man?” 

He chuckles as he tilts his head back and looks up at the guys above. “We’re gonna do this fast.” I watch as he places one foot against the large rock behind us. “Their gonna lift and I’m gonna pull. But I need you to push away too. The last thing we need is this thing coming down on the both of us.” 

I nod, even though on the inside, I’ve never been so scared. 

“We’re going on three.” Again I nod. Gendry signals to the guys above that we are set to do our part. “Okay?” he asks, pausing before he grabs for the sides of my jacket. “One, two,” he counts, taking a deep breath, “and three.” My body jerks forward, a screeching sound echoes above. Together, both Gendry and I swing outward and away from the car. Another jerk and the copter above wrenches us upward. I watch as the car I’d just been trapped by drops about ten feet, making my heart feel as if it were dropped too. 

The passengers were removed only a few moments before me. Knowing they are safe too gives closure to the situation that could have easily claimed their lives and my own. 

“We gotcha, kid,” Gendry pats my back as he holds me close. I hold on securely with my uninjured arm, my injured one hanging limply at my side. My eyes remain focused on the car beneath us, the thought that I could have gone down with it still residing heavily on my mind. 

“Let’s get you outta here,” he says, signaling to the copter above. “I’m sure you got people lined up worried about your safety. So what do ya say we ease their worries?” I nod, still blown away by the situation, as he chuckles before giving me a brotherly squeeze while carefully avoiding my injured arm. Together we ascend. The closer we get to safety above, the more my heart races. Reality sinks in, an overwhelming feeling striking me. My body shakes and my chest pounds so hard that it literally aches. 

After a while, I’d grown numb to the pain in my shoulder. But now that I’m free, the adrenaline starts to subside. Once I am safely in the copter, I take the chance and look down at my arm, blood now soaking the sleeve of my once blue shirt. Lightheaded and dazed, I allow my head to fall back against the headrest behind me so I can concentrate on my breathing. 

 

*** 

 

“WE’VE STITCHED you up in two places.” I look up at the doctor standing over me. “You have a Proximal Humerus Fracture,” she states while pointing to her arm, as if to show me in case I did not understand the medical term. I know this means I’ve broken the upper bone in my arm. It is one of the two most common places for the arm to break. “You’ve also suffered a major tear in your rotator cuff that requires surgery to repair. However, we believe you will make a full recovery from this injury after some time to heal followed by some physical therapy.”

“Which means I’m out of work.” 

She looks at me, a smile on her face. “I think that you deserve some time off after what you’ve gone through. I understand the need to fulfill that urge inside you to be there when people need you, Mr. Snow, but you should consider yourself a fortunate man.” 

“Thanks,” I reply, nodding in understanding that no matter how hard I push, nothing will make me heal faster. The doctor is right; the outcome could have been so much worse than a few months off work. 

“I’ve been told that we have a few very eager people waiting to see you.” My gaze immediately shifts toward the door. “If it’s all right with you, I’ll allow them to come back now.” 

“Yes,” I nod while still watching the door. 

A few minutes later, my father steps inside, followed closely by my mother, and then Daenerys. I can see she’s been crying and the idea of that pulls at something deep inside me, straight to my heart. She stands back, allowing both of my parents to hug me. My mother wipes away her own tears as she kisses over my forehead and cheek. 

“Damn good to see you, son,” my father replies in relief, looking me over, his gaze focused on my now casted arm. “Out there playing hero and you almost got yourself . . .” he pauses, clearing his throat while doing his best to hide his emotions. 

“I’m okay,” I assure him, and his nostrils flare as he nods his head, choosing to say nothing more. 

“You scared us half to death.” I look past my mother as she continues to touch me. Daenerys still stands back, entirely too far in my opinion. Her chest rises and falls with a consistent rhythm as if she is fighting to remain calm. 

“Hey you,” I say to her, causing her to finally look up, her eyes meeting mine. “You gonna stand over there all night or do you plan on coming over here and offering me a hug? Because I could really use one from my girl right now.” 

Immediately her lower lip trembles and she moves in closer, placing her palm against my outstretched hand. 

“We’re gonna step out for a few minutes,” My father softly says, placing his hand on my mother’s shoulder to give her a gentle squeeze. I can tell she doesn’t want to leave, but he offers her a nod of his head, and she looks over at Daenerys. Acknowledgment flashes in her eyes as she delivers a smile. 

When they step out, they pull the door closed, and instantly Daenerys places her head on my good shoulder. Her body shakes against mine. I imagine the things rolling around in her mind, memories of losing her mother, the pain she’s felt since that horrific night, the not knowing if I’d make it today . . . all reminders of the grief of her past. 

“I swear to God, Jon, if you ever scare me like that again . . .” Her words are muffled, but I hear them clearly. Though she is crying, she threatens me through the tears, her way of holding herself together. “I told myself when I saw you I was going to beat you senseless, but the only thing I want to do now that I’m here is to hear your heartbeat. It’s reassurance that you’re here.” 

I feel my own emotions kick in as I squeeze her into me as tightly as my one arm allows. 

“I was so terrified that I’d never get the chance to do this again.” She turns her head to the side, her ear now pressed firmly over my heart. “I tried to imagine it,” she whispers, “remembering the sound, trying to recall the rhythm.” 

“I’m here,” I tell her as I kiss her forehead. 

Silence passes over us as I remain beneath her, our hearts aligned and beating as one, and give her what she needs without making a move. Just having her in my arms this close gives me everything I need. _Daenerys is all I need. She is everything to me._

“You okay?” I finally ask, and she nods. “Think maybe I could get a kiss now?” 

Her body shakes against mine, only this time in laughter. When she lifts her head and her red- rimmed eyes lock on mine, my chest tightens. “No more crying , babe.” I can’t take it. 

“You are such a big part of my life,” Daenerys says with conviction while tears pool in her eyes. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” I know what she means because her feelings mirror mine. She leans in, pressing her lips to mine, and I run my fingers through her hair as I hold her close. I need this, the closeness. I’d spent what felt like forever pinned beneath that car thinking that I’d never again get the chance to kiss Daenerys or hold her in my arms. 

 

***

 

“I THINK I could get used to this.” I lounge back in the recliner, with the footrest kicked out before me. With my hand comfortably placed behind my head, I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively when Daenerys looks back over her shoulder. “While you’re waiting on me, I think you should wear one of those naughty nurse uniforms instead of those tight little shorts you have on. You know so you can make this nurse gig more authentic. Or you can just wear sexy lingerie.” 

“Right,” she responds with her signature eye roll before disappearing behind the wall that separates our kitchen from the living room. “Keep dreaming, because that’s about as close as you're getting to that fantasy, lover boy.” _Lover boy?_ If I weren’t in so much pain, I’d pick up Daenerys, hoist her over my shoulder on to the bed, and give her a refresher on how _I’m all man_. 

I’ve been home for four days now, and the first two were the hardest. Sleeping is next to impossible. I’ve woken up with a throbbing pain in my shoulder every few hours. Not to mention I sleep on that side, so more than once I’ve attempted to roll over, which leads to me yelling out in pain. Pain that startles Daenerys, which triggers her own surprised scream. We are a pair if I’ve ever seen one. 

“I say you go completely nude!” I holler out and am immediately met with her laughter. 

“Now you’re really reaching for the stars, dreamer.” She rounds the corner and comes into view once more wearing a wide grin on her face. “Maybe I’ll just dress in a nun’s cloak and coif instead.” She cocks her head to the side, pursing her lips and arching her brow, trying to be funny. The only thing it manages to do is excite me more as a sassy Daenerys is a turn-on for me. I love this playfulness between us. 

I’d been in relationships before, one, in particular, that lasted a decent amount of time. Ygritte was my first real love. She was catty and bitchy, and most people called her out on it, but with me she was different. Now don’t get me wrong, I noticed how my ex could be, but when it was just the two of us, Ygritte was so different and even kind. She had a soft side she hid well from others. 

Daenerys is different all around though. She has always been the one I could lean on no matter what. That hasn’t changed. I’ve always loved her, adored her even. That love is changing, growing to something so fierce and intense that the thought of going without it is crippling. 

“You’d still be sexy in nun’s clothing,” I challenge her, but again she doesn’t falter. She doesn’t take my shit but instead gives it right back. 

“I wouldn’t dare me,” she challenges me right back, crossing her arms over her full chest, which gains my full attention. I think she is catching on to the fact that her signature movement only brings further attention to one of her many assets Those assets have quickly become one of my favorite parts of Daenerys. She’s just the type of girl to tease me just because she can, and I enjoy every minute. “I’ll trade in all my boy shorts for sweats, all my yoga pants for full body sleepers with built-in feet, and those sports bras you obviously love may just disappear too.” 

“Does this mean you’ll walk around topless?” I can’t help but sound hopeful or maybe desperate. 

“Again, buddy, you are so dreaming. I was thinking more of big baggy t-shirts and even sweatshirts.” She shrugs, her mouth turning down at the sides. “I have this big oversized robe buried in the back of my closet. I’ve only worn it once, but I’m thinking that I may need to dig it out and go for the granny look.” My hardened soldier down below that was excited about topless Daenerys retreats in agony. _Mission over, buddy._

“You think that robe is big enough for both of us to fit inside?” Again I express excitement just to dig back at her. My buddy below begins to perk up again at the thought of one robe and a very naked Daenerys. “Imagine our bodies completely naked, pressed together with a robe binding us together. Wait . . .” I hold out my good arm, halting her from replying. “Does it have that strap thing around the waist the cinches it together?” 

She arches her brow, not answering me, but the smile on her lips is enough to tell me it did. “Go get it so I can tie you up with that strap.” 

She drops her arms to her sides and shakes her head. “The only thing that strap is going to serve as is a _gag_ for you.” 

“Damn, babe; that’s harsh.” I stretch out and push my hand down on my cock, which is also unhappy about being dismissed, and pretend to apply pressure as I try to contain my excitement. “I didn’t know you were into that kind of kinky shit, but I’m game. Let’s give it a whirl." 

She stares at me. In return, I smile brightly. Neither of us say a word in our non-verbal showdown. I wave my hand toward the bedroom as if to say, move it along, and her eyes light up with amusement. 

“I’ve got nothing .” Daenerys smiles, throwing her hands up in the air to surrender. Oh yeah, baby, you’ll be surrendering to me all night long. 

“What is that like, twenty to one?” I toss in one last dig, “You need to catch up Daenerys. I’m getting better at this winning thing.” 

“I let you win,” she assures me, “because when you lose, you pout like a toddler. You are a poor loser, Jon Snow, and I can’t stand to see you looking so scorned and defeated.” 

“But then you’re missing the chance of kissing me and making everything better. Because you, Daenerys, have the power to make everything better.” 

“I don’t need you sad or wounded to kiss you.” She walks closer, and I feel the anticipation of her closeness pounding in my ears. _“I can kiss you anytime I want.”_

“Please do, Daenerys. Kiss me anywhere and anytime, baby.” She leans in, and I allow my head to fall back against the cushion behind my head as I wait for her lips to touch mine. My eyes close as she moves in closer. _Then nothing happens. Nothing.  
_

 _Wait . . . what?_

As I peek back at her, I find that she has now stepped back and is looking down at me all smug and pleased with herself. “Too bad for you, baby, that I’m not in the mood to kiss right now.” She offers a shrug, swiveling around and shaking her ass entirely too much on her way back toward the kitchen. _Damn tease._ She pauses just before she steps behind the wall and looks back at me. 

“I think that’s a point for me, smartass.” 

Well played, Daenerys. _Well played._


	11. “Why call me?”

**DAENERYS**

 

“ACED IT!” I hold out the paper in front of me and shake it around excitedly. I can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief after acing the exams I’d been stressing about. I’m so close to finishing school. With each passing week, I feel more accomplished and proud. I do, however, wish that my father was a little more supportive, but part of me is okay with the idea that my mother would’ve been over the moon. Now that I am with Jon in an entirely different way, now that things have shifted between us, I can sympathize with what he must be feeling without my mother at his side. 

After all, only a couple weeks ago, I thought I’d lost Jon. 

I perform a crazy little dance as I turn in circles. Jon remains in bed, looking like he is half asleep as he stares back at me with a silly grin on his face. 

“Get over here, ya goof!” His gruff tone stops me in place and I let my bag slide off my shoulder before I lower it carefully to the floor near my feet. He waits for me to join him in bed, using his good arm to hold himself up as he rolls over me. “Not that I’m not extremely proud of you, but I just had this dream.” I can already feel the effects of this so-called dream pressed against my hip. “And you remember that devil’s costume you wore last year to that Halloween party we went to?” 

I arch my brow, already knowing where this is going. 

“You were wearing that outfit, and let’s just say you were a very, very naughty girl.” He shifts against me, his big tool poking me as if to announce its presence too, and I stifle a moan. “You did things to me that made me feel like the top of my head was gonna shoot off. This head,” he says with a smirk and points to his forehead, making my smile widen, “though I should add that the other head blew—” I stop him from finishing by pressing my finger to his lips. 

“Alright, dirty talker, I already know what that head did and does.” 

“But I kinda want to relive the dream,” he says with a little pout. 

“Is that right?” He nods enthusiastically. It is actually quite adorable how eager he appears. “I should warn you that I don’t have that outfit anymore.” His frown deepens. “But I think I can make it up to you.” 

With that, I don’t wait for him to answer. Instead, I push against his chest, and he falls without hesitation. Crawling over him quickly, I rub myself over his hardness like a cat in heat. I can’t help myself. Jon brings out a wild side of me I was always so bashful of before. He makes me feel desirable where I have no qualms about releasing my inner vixen. It’s freeing in a way. 

“What I need you to do is just lay back and relax.” Jon lifts his hand up and places it behind his head. Relaxing back, his stare locks with mine. “Close your eyes.” 

A sexy smirk covers his mouth as he slowly closes his eyes. 

Gently brushing my fingertips over his chest, he tenses beneath them and his hips lift upward. As I slowly move further down, his eyes suddenly pop open. 

“Close them,” I whisper, stopping my movements until he does as I, demand. Once they are closed, I replace my fingertips with my mouth as I teasingly kiss over his stomach, dragging my tongue along his delicious rippled abs of steel. “Keep them closed,” I direct as I hook the band of his boxers and drag them over his thighs. “If you open them, I’ll stop.” 

“Jesus,” he groans. His thighs tremble and the muscles in his arms tense as he grips the pillow behind him tighter. 

With one hand on each of his thighs, I glide the tip of my tongue over the entire length of his large cock, loving the sound of my name falling from his lips in what sounds like a plea. It is so satisfying to watch him fight against the drive I know lingers inside of him to take control. Jon loves power but he knows giving it up to me will be worth the pleasure. 

I pause, ensuring that I have a full view of his face as I slide my lips over his delicious length. “Holy fuck.” He lifts his hips, helping to push his cock further into my mouth. “Daenerys, I wanna watch you.” He hasn’t yet opened his eyes, and I can’t help the feeling of seductiveness and pride that fill me as I hold all the power over him right now. 

“Please, babe,” he growls, slowly pumping his hips. 

“Open,” I whisper around the head of his cock. When he opens his eyes, I can see the lust burning inside them.

“That is so hot.” 

I stop moving over him and allow him to take what he needs, getting my own satisfaction out of his pleasure. When he tries to pull back, I refuse to let him. Lowering my mouth over him, I feel him hit the back of my throat. When I swallow, my throat hugs him gently. As he fists my hair, it’s like a boost of need hits him. Quick drives of his hips join the deep groan that rips from his lips, and I know what is coming. 

_I want it. I need it._

“I can’t hold off.” 

“Don’t,” I command just before his thighs tighten and he holds my head close to him. Warm spurts hit the back of my throat, and I take everything he offers. For a second, his mouth falls lax, his eyebrows crease and he lets out that deep, satisfied sigh, making it by far the most erotic experience. I know I’ll never grow tired of it and him.

 

***

 

I am later awakened by the sound of Jon’s phone ringing. By its continuous ringing, it is someone very persistent. While I wish he’d ignore it and stay in bed with me, to my disappointment, he slips away, leaving me alone beneath the thin sheet of his bed. I hear him mumble a hello. 

The room grows silent, and I peek through the strands of hair that have fallen around my face to find the room empty. He must have slipped out into the hallway and left me alone in bed. At first, I thought maybe he’d done it to avoid waking me, but then I hear his irritated voice echo through the small gap and find myself curious. I sit up, moving toward the end of the bed to attempt to understand clearly. 

Part of me feels terrible for eavesdropping.

 _What do you want?”_ There are a few passing seconds of silence as I stare at the shadow peeking through from beneath the door. He is just beyond the door and at any minute can push it open, only I don’t let that fear diminish my interest. _“What am I supposed to do about that?”_

Again silence. _“Why call me?”_

Each time he speaks, it makes my heart race more. I can’t determine who or even what he is discussing and I hate the unknown. 

_“That was a long time ago.”_ I hear him let out a deep, exasperated breath. _“Things are different now. I don’t think asking me for help is your only option.”_

The shadow moves away from the door, and I hurry from the bed toward the door, leaning in closely, fearful I will miss part of what he is saying. 

_“Where are you staying?”_

My heart rate spikes and my stomach does a crazy flip thing. 

_“Yeah,”_ Jon says in a defeated tone that concerns me. _“Sunset Tower on the Boulevard, I know the one. I’ll see you in an hour.”_

The realization hits that I am still standing near the door with my ear plastered to the small crack before the frame and the door itself. I hurry toward the bed, jump up and tuck myself beneath the sheets just as the door opens. I try my best to keep my breaths smooth and level, free from the rush of adrenaline that is now coursing through me. 

Jon moves around the room quietly, and I can hear him shuffling around in his closet. Then the familiar sound of a zipper, followed by the jingle of keys echo. 

Suddenly he touches my hip, and I wait for him to approach me. I feel his lips press to my forehead, and they remain there for a few passing seconds before I slowly open my eyes and turn my head to look up at him. “Hey.” 

“Morning.” I look over at the clock and realize it is just barely after nine. 

“Where are you going?” Reaching up, I attempt to pull him down to me, only he resists. 

“Uh . . .” he hesitates for a few seconds, almost like he is trying to come up with something to say, which alarms me. “Robb called and asked if I could give him a ride. He went out last night and had to take a cab home.” 

The lie he tells me both stuns and stings. 

“I shouldn’t be too long,” he adds. The hardest part about the entire thing is the way Jon looks down at the mattress instead of looking at me when speaking or more like spewing the lie. 

“Do you want me to ride along?” 

“No.” His reply is so quick that it feels like another sharp stinging jab. “You stay in bed and relax, and later we’ll go out for lunch or something.” 

I nod because my throat burns too much to answer him with words. Part of me wants to lash out at him and tell him that I know he’s lying to me. I want to demand to him that he tell me the truth. But an even more significant part can’t look past the hurt, knowing that he can lie to me without hesitation and so comfortably. Just the little bit of what I’ve heard has already confirmed that it wasn’t Robb he was talking to on the phone. I stare at him. He stares back. A minute passes and our verbal showdown stops. I want to ask him what he is really doing, but I also want to trust him too. 

“I’ll see you in a bit then?” It is his turn to nod, and because I can’t look at him any longer, I turn away. I curl myself around the pillow at my side and breathe in his scent. Doing my best to tuck away the hurt, I close my eyes tightly and concentrate on the sound of my breathing instead. 

_How can you have a relationship without trust?_

 

**JON**

 

SHE IS ALREADY WAITING outside when I walk up. Her hair is now shorter, bobbed, and hits just beneath her chin. It looks different, not bad, but just not something I’d ever imagined on her. Ygritte always had long locks of red hair that she would spend hours curling. Waves that hung down her back that I’d toy with often. She is thinner, almost frail looking and her cheekbones are more distinct. Though she was always pretty slim. 

“Hi,” she whispers, and I sense the nervous energy she expresses. 

“Hey.” Seeing her looking back at me with those big brown eyes of hers brings back a lot of unsettled feelings. Is it love? I don’t think so. It is more memories of that time in my life. Ygritte is the first girl I can honestly say I loved, but like I said, _that was a long time ago._

“I saw the footage about the accident.” I notice the way her gaze falls to my casted arm. “That must’ve been terrifying.” 

“Why call me?” I wasn’t here for conversation. 

She worries her lip as her gaze lifts back to meet my own. For a few silent seconds, she says nothing while watching me. When she used to look at me, even giving me one glance, I’d be lost in that brown eyes that flashed back to me. Not anymore. 

“Can we go inside, not to my room, but maybe to the bar area?” She seems nervous, her hands shaking as she twists them together in front of her. “It’s early, so it should be a quiet spot to talk.” 

My sub-conscience tells me to walk away because Ygritte and I aren’t an us and I owe her nothing. But that good guy inside me, the one who always feels as if he has to fix or help anyone in need steps up. I nod as I head toward her and she turns back to the entrance behind her. 

As she walks, I again scan her all over. There is barely anything left of her with the clothes she wears sagging in places they shouldn’t. They hide what is beneath but not enough to conceal the significant weight change in her. 

She finds a small table in the corner, one far from the bar. I join her; still unsure of what the fuckI’ve gotten myself into. 

“Do you want anything to drink?” Her eyes shift around like she is in search of a staff member of the hotel. 

“I’m good.” Immediately she refocuses on me. I can’t help but notice that she continues to shake, looking from her hands that now rest on the table before us and back to me almost frantically. “What’s going on?” 

She takes one deep breath after another, almost like she is trying to find the courage to say whatever it is she needs to. Then she looks up at me with tears in her eyes, shocking the hell out of me. “I need help, and I know I don’t have the right to ask you for it, but I don’t know where else to turn. I never meant to get addicted to it; it started out as just a way to fit in. Everyone around me was doing it; it was as common as drinking a glass of wine.” 

“What was?” 

“Cocaine,” she whispers so low I almost miss it. My stomach drops and my chest tightens. 

“I’ve tried to quit on my own, Jon, I have.” Her tears fall heavy now, her chest heaving as she attempts to hold them back. “But it gets too hard, and then I break, falling right back into old habits. My parents gaveup on me. All my friends hate me. The friends that matter anyway, those I had before I let everything go to shit. I feel like I’m gonna crack and there’s gonna be nothing left. I don’t know how to fix this, I don’t know where to turn, I just, it’s just—” 

“How long?” Why it matters, I wasn’t sure. I guess I just need to know. “Right before we ended things.”

She ended things, though I was having a hard time at that point trying to find a reason why we should stay together myself. Ygritte wanted the glam and the high life. She wanted the attention of not just me, but every other guy out there. It got to a point where the need to impress grew more significant than her love for me and that’s when I began to realize what we had would never be enough. 

“I can’t fix you, Ygritte .” I am not sure what she wants from me. What she thinks I could offer her. “It has to be you that wants to change. You have to beat this.” 

“I know, but I don’t know where to start. I don’t have the strength to get through this alone.” 

“What we had? We can’t go back to that.” Maybe it is the wrong thing to say in her condition. Idon’t know. Fuck. I’m still reeling from the realization that this frail and desperate woman sitting before me is the confident girl I once loved. 

“I know, but I thought maybe we could start new,” she says quietly and shrugs as she wipes away her tears. “We were friends once. Can’t be friends again? I could use a good friend.” 

Her comments only make me think of Daenerys. 

“I’m with Daenerys.” Her eyes widen just a fraction, though I can tell she is trying to appear unaffected. 

“I think I always knew that would eventually happen.” 

“Everybody did it seems,” I state, “or so everyone has been telling us.” 

“I don’t want to come between the two of you.” She again looks down toward her hands. “I just don’t have anywhere else to turn.”


	12. “I need to leave”

**DAENERYS**

 

“WHAT EXACTLY IS it we’re doing here?” Missandei asks as we sit inside a small diner across the street from the Sunset Tower. It’s the one piece of information I’d taken from the little bit I’d overheard Jon say during his phone conversation. 

“We’re figuring out who Jon is actually meeting,” I say without looking away from the window, “at a hotel.” 

“Why not just ask him?” 

“I did and he lied. I could have pushed, but I shouldn’t have to do that. He said it was Robb and I’ve since confirmed that he worked all night and didn’t get drunk, leaving his vehicle at some bar. So that’s not who he’s meeting.” That hurt the most. My irritation only grows more and more every time I break down the events of the morning in my mind. 

“So stalking him is the next best option?” It’s then I look over at her, giving her an annoyed look. 

“That or tracking his phone and there isn’t enough time for that. But even tracking it would only confirm he went to a hotel, and I already knew that part.” 

“I’m getting a coffee,” she says in a grumpy voice and stands up after pushing back her chair. Missandei is apparently not a fan of my waking her up early this morning to be my stakeout partner. 

I lift my phone from my bag and decide to text Jon, just to see if I’ll get a response. 

_Me: Miss you, babe. Hurry home._

After I send it, I regret it. But then I sit, staring down at my phone, willing Jon to reply. As the minutes pass, my heart only aches more. The whole situation is making me crazy. _The not knowing.The secrets._ It’s all turning me into a paranoid freak. Maybe I heard him wrong. Maybe he didn’t state he’d meet whomever at the Sunset Tower. 

“Um . . .” I look up to find Missandei at my side, holding a cup of coffee firmly in her hands. “Who’s that?” She stares ahead, squinting her eyes. Slowly and with caution, I turn, only to witness Jon wrapping his arms around a woman and pulling her in close. 

From this angle, it’s hard to tell. Plus the consistent traffic that passes only manages to further interfere with my view, but their closeness can’t be mistaken. The way he holds her to him, her arms securely wrapped around him, it’s all too much. 

“Do you know her?” I can’t answer, not because I was unsure, but because the words just won’t form. As if seeing him hug some random woman on the street wasn’t hard enough, being able to clearly see her face is the final kick to my stomach. She looks different, but there’s no mistaking her identity. 

“It’s Ygritte,” I say, her name feeling like a shot of acid rolls over my tongue that burns in my throat. 

“As in . . .” Missandei doesn’t finish the sentence, but she doesn’t have to. She sits down in the chair next to me. Together, we stare out the window as we watch Jon say goodbye to the girl with whom he was once intimate. _Or is still._ I don’t want to believe he would do something like that. However, he’s lied to me so quickly and seamlessly that I’m unsure what else to think. 

They stand only a foot or so apart, still talking. To see her smile up at him is hard. I witnessed their relationship once before. I watched the way she played him, and how easily he fell for her antics. I saw how he once loved her, and then I was the one that spent the few days that followed their breakup doing my best to cheer him up. It hurt before because Jon is my closest friend. Watching someone you adore hurt the way he did was difficult. But now, since things have changed and we are no longer just friends, it’s so much more than sadness. 

When Ygritte rises up on to her tiptoes and moves toward Jon, I have to look away. Some things can never be unseen, and I don’t think I can stomach seeing them kiss. “I need to leave,” I say in a rush, standing up in a hurry. 

“Daenerys, wait!” Missandei calls out to me, but I don’t stop. I walk out of the door and turn right, moving in the opposite direction of Jon. The further away I get, the better. “Will you wait up?!?” she hollers out from behind. 

I round the corner and lean up against the side of the building, letting my head fall back. Tears burn my eyes, only I refuse to let them fall. I won’t let him make me feel this way. 

“Maybe it’s innocent.” I don’t open my eyes to meet Missandei’s gaze. I know I would just see pity in them. I’ve done this. I’ve let things go too far, and I should’ve stopped them. Getting involved with a lifelong friend was and is a mistake. I let my hormones get the best of me when I should’ve just kept things platonic. “I’m sure it’s nothing." 

“Then why lie?” 

I push off the wall, feeling the anger hit me. I turn to face Missandei, pointing my hand out in the direction of Jon, or where he once was. “He couldn’t even look at me when told me he was going to pick up Robb. He didn’t even flinch. It was so easy to lie. That’s not us. It’s never been us. _Until now._ I was the one he turned to, the one he relied on always, but now I’m just another girl he slept with—another nobody.” 

“Daenerys,” she says. All Missandei has to say is my name and I understand completely. I’m at a loss for words too. In fact, the drive back toward my apartment is filled with silence except for the radio playing very lightly. 

My phone vibrates in my bag, and I reach inside, void of the excitement I generally feel when I know he’s calling or texting. 

_Jon: I miss you too, beautiful. Be home soon._

My heart honestly hurts at this moment. No longer do I feel that fulfillment his words once offered me. 

“Do you think I could stay with you tonight?” I feel sad by the idea of not being held by Jon while I sleep, but what I just saw keeps flashing in my mind, and I know I can’t be near him right now. 

“Don’t you think you should at least give him a chance to explain?” I don’t look away from my phone, the words blurring from the tears that have formed in my eyes. I hate this feeling, primarily since Jon caused it to occur. 

“I’m gonna give him a chance.” I inhale deeply while trying to hold off the tears. “But something tells me I’m gonna get the same line of shit I got earlier. You know the saying that after you lie, it just seems like the hole you’ve dug only gets deeper and deeper.” 

My wounded heart may be leading my actions, but I feel betrayed. Jon willingly walked out the door knowing he was going to meet her. If it was nothing, if it meant nothing, then there shouldn’t have been any reason he couldn’t have told me the truth. 

I’d never once felt reluctant about going home until now. It’s strange how one thing, a sense of uncertainty, can change the feeling of a place you’ve always loved. 

I stand in the entryway with Missandei behind me as I look over our apartment. The pillows on the couch are strewn on the floor from our wrestling session just last night. Two cups still sit on the coffee table along with a bowl with only the popcorn seeds we’d left behind. 

“Why don’t I head home? If you need me, you can call.” Missandei places her hand on my shoulder. “I just think it’s premature for you to assume that it’s gonna go south before you even talk to him.” 

I step inside further and turn around to face her, just as Jon climbs the last of the stairs. He pauses and looks between the two of us. “Hey.” He appears surprised to find us standing there. “You two have plans or something?” He looks over me, taking in the fact that I’m still wearing the same clothes I slept in the night before. 

Suddenly I feel self-conscious, but really shouldn’t as last night’s clothing I have on is nothing compared to the girl he’d just spent time within a hotel. I’m frumpy, and I can’t even remember if I took the time to brush my hair in my rush to leave. 

“Where’ve you been?” I ignore his question and ask my own. 

Maybe I should let Missandei leave first before getting into this, but I’m anxious. With each second that passes, my heart takes over my mind even more. 

“Sorry it took so long.” Jon lifts his hand to his head, combing his fingers through his hair. It’s a nervous twitch he’s done for years. “Robb met some girl last night, and he was at her place. When I got there, he was still looking for his keys.” 

I look away from him. Seeing him lie to me—with little to no emotion—honestly breaks my heart. When I look up again, he’s closer, and Missandei looks like a deer caught in the headlights. If it were any other situation, I might’ve laughed at her expression, but this is different. 

“What’s going on?” Jon asks with nervousness laced in his voice.

Anger fills me as I turn around and begin walking toward my bedroom. I hear him say something to Missandei as I move away, but I take no time to stop. 

I grab my large bag off the hook on the backside of my closet door and toss it onto my bed. Mindlessly I begin to gather clothing, shirts, shorts, underwear. Then I feel him before I even seen him. 

“What are you doing?” Jon asks as I continue to gather what little I can in a hurry. “Daenerys.” He steps closer and reaches out, covering my hand with his own. “Talk to me.” 

“Do you mean like you talked to me?” I chance a glance in his direction and immediately regret it. God, he is so beautiful. I never thought I’d feel this type of resentment towards him. Even in the midst of it, I still find him so unbelievably attractive. “Are you asking me to lie?” There is a long pause as he merely stares at me with nothing but an unsure look on his face. “There should never be a time between us when I have to ask you twice to be honest with me. Or at least that’s what I thought.” I pull my hand away from his and zip my bag shut. “I never thought that you and I would be in this type of situation. That’s what hurts the most.” 

I step around him, gathering my keys and wallet along with my school bag, and leave him behind in my bedroom. I slide my feet into my sandals, and just as I reach for the door, I hear him hurrying toward me. 

Jon grabs for my arm and turns me to face him. “Where are you going?” 

“I’m gonna go stay at Missandei’s for a while.” 

“What the fuck is going on, Daenerys?” 

“Why don’t you tell me what’s going on, Jon? The fact that you even have to ask me that question—when it’s what I should be asking you—makes this entire thing even sadder.” He stares at me. I stare right back. Though I feel myself slowly breaking inside, I refuse to give him a reaction. I know I’ll fall apart later when I am alone, but right now I can’t show my pain. 

My body trembles as I tug my arm away from his grip. I yank open the door to find Missandei sitting on the top step that leads down to the courtyard of our apartment. 

“Can we please talk through this?” Missandei looks away, no longer on Team Jon it seems as she crosses her arms over her chest. It’s the same look she’d given Drogo after we’d figured out that he was a grade _A_ douche bag. 

“Daenerys?” 

_“You.Lied.To. Me. Jon!”_ I shout the words, enunciating every one. I look away from him again because the alarmed look on his face only makes it harder to hold myself together. “You went to her, and the saddest part about it all is that you could’ve told me. Would I have liked it? No. Probably not. But I think I would have been able to handle it more had you just been upfront with me.” 

I lift my gaze to meet his, and I notice the look instantly, one of frantic panic. 

“You took a call from Ygritte, and then you rushed to her aide, forgetting about everything you and I have going here.” He tries to argue, but I don’t allow him too. “This. This.” I point to him and then me. “This alone makes me question everything, makes me realize that there’s something you still have holding you to her.” 

“No.” He steps toward me and reaches out; only I step away before he can grab a hold. “Let me explain." 

“You had that chance before you left this morning and again when you came home. Yet both times you lied. I can’t even trust you.” I take in another deep inhale before I slowly release it. 

“I just can’t do this with you right now.”


	13. "I fucked up big time"

**JON**

 

“THE NEXT TIME you wanna lie, you should remember who it is you’re lying too. I know all the signs, Jon. I know you.” 

I stand rooted in the doorway of our apartment as I watch Daenerys walk away. Missandei leads, as Daenerys descends behind her, not looking back. My heart races and my hands shake as panic courses through me. I know I fucked up the minute I’d said I was meeting Robb, but the reality is that things have shifted between Daenerys and me. The idea of hurting her before I even knew what it was Ygritte truly wanted was something I wanted to avoid. But in the end, it was exactly what I ended up doing. The idea of taking care of this situation without tainting what Daenerys and I had was something I never should’ve thought was possible. 

My legs move before my mind has the time to register, and I take the stairs two at a time to catch up to them. The two of them share some words before Missandei climbs inside of her own car and Daenerys starts to place her bags in her Jeep. 

“Daenerys, wait!” Her body visibly freezes, but only for a few seconds as I step up behind her. “Please, can we just talk through this?” 

“I can’t give you that right now.” 

“Why?” My hands itch to touch her, but I refrain from doing so and only further pissing her off. 

“Because right now, I’m so angry with you.” She braces herself against the door frame of her Jeep, her shoulders rising and falling with one deep breath after another. “It’s me. Why lie?” 

“Yes. It’s you. But we’re different now.” Before I get the chance to explain, she spins around and pins me with a look of distaste. 

“I don’t want us to be different.” She pushes against my chest and I do nothing to stop her. “I just want us to be more. I thought we had something, but I guess that was me being presumptuous or stupid.” 

“We do have something.” The harder I try, the more it seems to place a distance between us. 

“Stop.” Daenerys pins me with her stare. “If we had anything more than two friends that took things too far, you wouldn’t have found it so easy to lie to me when the girl you once loved returned.” _Fuck. My heart sinks._ “She called and you ran, leaving the booty call in bed oblivious to where you were going. Or so you thought.” 

“Is that what really what you think you are? A damn booty call?” Now it’s my turn to get upset at her for diminishing what we have. 

“I was the one to have some fun with. I was convenient. The roommate you fucked, right?” 

“Don’t.” I reach out for her and she shoves my hand away.

“No,” she grinds out as her nostrils flare, “you don’t.” 

I don’t stop her when she walks to the other side of her Jeep and climbs inside. I don’t stop her when she starts it. I don’t stop her when she pulls away. I don’t stop her from walking out of my life. I don’t stop her because I made a huge mistake _. I fucked up big time._

Daenerys has always been the person I could talk to about anything at any time, but the reality is that things have changed. My fear of her thinking the worst when I mentioned Ygritte drove my need to lie. It was wrong. I know that now. It may just have cost me both my best friend and the other half of my soul. 

 

***

 

“YOU NEED to clean this place up,” Robb says as he looks around the apartment. “Looks like a shit storm in here.” 

Flipping him off requires more effort than I am willing to give. So instead, I sit down on the couch and stare ahead at the television. 

“Are you watching the Food Network?” 

Again I don’t respond. The television may be on, but honestly, I haven’t noticed. “She’s gonna come back.” 

“When?” I finally give him more than just a blank stare. “Because it’s been three days and I’m still fucking waiting.” 

“What do you expect, Jon? You hurt her.” Robb sits in the chair next to the couch. 

“You think I don’t know that I fucked up everything with Daenerys?” My chest aches. “I knew it the second the lie left my mouth. I should’ve just told her where I was going, but I’d spent months fearing the idea that if I showed Daenerys my true feelings, it would ruin our friendship. Then we happened. In my mind, I was terrified of losing what we were building. Daenerys saw Ygritte and me together. She witnessed all our ups and downs. She was the person I’d talked to about my feelings for Ygritte. She sat by my side when things ended. What I shared with her? Jesus, Robb. I told her about all Ygritte and my intimate moments. I know in Daenerys’s mind she’s romanticized it all as my long lost love returning, but that’s nowhere close to reality.” 

“Then tell her.” 

“She won’t talk to me. I’ve tried.” 

“Try harder. Make her listen.” If only it were that simple. 

My phone rings, and I lean over, swiping it up off the table before me. Ygritte’s number lights up the screen and my stomach feels like it has bottomed out. “What’s the name of that addiction clinic that your cousin went too?” I look up to Robb while still holding the ringing phone in my hand. “The one that he stayed in for six weeks and then continued to go to for meetings and groups?” 

“New Found Hope?” 

“Yeah.” The ringing stops as the call goes to voicemail. “What’s something like that run?” 

“I know it’s expensive, but I’m not sure the exact cost. Why?” 

“Ygritte.” Saying her name alone makes that empty feeling of Daenerys’s absence return with a vengeance. “She needs a place to get some help.” 

“You’re still gonna help her after everything with Daenerys?” 

My phone vibrates with the indicator announcing I now have a new voicemail. “I don’t know what to do.” The truth is I feel so fucking torn at this point that I don’t know which way is up or down. “I need to fix things with Daenerys. Feeling the way I’m feeling now with her gone is killing me. But then I know Ygritte doesn’t have anyone else and if I don’t help her, who will?” 

The need to offer assistance to someone who needs help is overpowering. In my mind it isn’t the girl I was once in love with but a troubled person crying out for help.

 

_“Even if helping Ygritte costs you Daenerys?”_

 

I close my eyes tightly and try to move past the ache his question inflicts.


	14. “Every day, with every breath”

**DAENERYS**

 

“THANK you for letting me stay here the last few nights.” Missandei sits down on the window sill at my side. She often complains about her small apartment, but it is honestly cozy. It’s the perfect amount of space for one person and the view is pretty amazing too. Especially from the large window seating she has. 

“I told you that you can stay as long as you need to.” 

I look down at the traffic below, people walking along the streets almost as if they don’t have a care in the world and I wish for that too. Hoped for the unresolved feelings inside of me to go away and quit nagging my already wounded heart. “I know I need to talk to him. I’m just not sure what to say at this point.” 

“How about you start with what you’re feeling?” I look away from the distraction below and face her. “You feel used, maybe a little scared.” I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to hide my emotions. I was good at hiding how I felt. I’d done it for years in regards to Jon and each day I hid the pain of my mother’s loss. It’s what I do. I push forward and remained unaffected, or so it appeared. 

Pretending now is pointless because Missandei has been by my side throughout the last few days. She’s listened to me cry and has comforted me as I hit my low points over and over. “But this is Jon we’re talking about, Daenerys. He wouldn’t hurt you intentionally. Even with your sadness, you have to know that.” 

“I used to think so,” I confess as tears pool in my eyes, tears I try to will away. “I think it was a huge mistake that we took things as far as we did.” 

“Beyond friends?” I nod. “Why do you say that?” 

“Because now I’m not sure we’ll be able to have that same closeness we once had.” 

“I think you need to go home.” I look up at her quickly, weighing her expression. “You need to talk to him and find out where you both are. Find out where his head is in all this. But you need to go in with an open mind and forget the fact that he lied. You can’t go in with your mind already made up, or you might as well admit that anything you’ve ever had is gone.” 

Missandei leaves me alone with my thoughts while she showers. She also takes extra time to dry her hair and do her makeup. I, on the other hand, still remain in my pajamas from the night before with my wild messy hair piled high on my head. I also haven’t worn a stitch of makeup considering it is still at the apartment and I haven’t been back there since the day I packed my bag and left Jon standing by the side of the road. 

The truth is that I do miss Jon. More and more each day. It’s hard because I don’t want to miss him. 

Dragging myself out of the little nook I’ve called my own for the last few days, I attempt to brush my hair. Let’s just say that it is beyond painful. A knot the size of Winterfell has been hidden well within the heap of silver hair. I decide to take the easy way out, and just brush around it and place it in an updo. I leave only a few loose tendrils hanging down around my face. This is my attempt to make it look like I actually care. 

I slip on my favorite tank top, and add an off the shoulder baggy t-shirt. Sliding my legs into a pair of worn out jean shorts, I search for my flip flops and find them hidden beneath the recliner I slept in my first night here. 

I pick up my keys off the table and am walking toward the front door when Missandei finally emerges from the bathroom. 

“Call me if you need anything.” I think she knows giving me time alone with my thoughts would push me to face what I already know I need to do. I offer her a simple nod, feeling raw inside from what I’m about to face. “I mean it, Daenerys. Anything.” 

“I will,” I reply, fisting my hands at my sides as they shake. “Wish me luck.” Ignoring the sympathetic look she offers, I hurry out the door before she says anything further and my strength diminishes. 

My thoughts race as I drive toward my apartment. Turning the radio up, I sing along with the music, hoping it will help me escape my fears for even a small amount of time. Mixed emotions hit me when I see Jon’s car sitting in its usual parking space. Pulling into the empty space at its side, I leave my car running, the music still playing, while I just stare at the red Camaro. I'll always remember the moment he bought it and insisted we take a three-hour cruise through the streets of Kings Landing and the surrounding areas. 

Part of me wants to go back to that time when things were simple. Those times when I secretly cared what he thought but kept that fact to myself. 

I know sitting in my Jeep reminiscing over the times before the difficulty set in isn’t going to solve a thing. But if I’m being honest, the closer I get to facing him, the worse my nerves take over. I’m stalling. I’ll admit it. I’m at the point where the inevitable makes me nauseous. 

As I’m just about to open the door, I hear a woman’s laughter. I look up just in time to see Jon rounding the corner with Ygritte following closely behind. They’re walking in my direction. _What the hell?!?_

“Thank you for this.” She smiles, practically yelling the words, as she trails behind. He stops, and she steps up close, placing her hand on Jon's arm. He doesn’t return the gesture, but he also doesn’t shy away from her either. 

I hurry to start the Jeep, my body trembling with nervous energy and the need to escape. I watch as they both pause. Jon runs his hand through his hair in the way he does when he’s uncomfortable. He looks back at Ygritte, and she lowers her hand, releasing the hold she’s had on him. I hate that I can’t hear what they are now saying now that their voices are quieter. 

Watching him with any girl hasn’t been easy over the last year or so, but watching him with Ygritte is even harder. The history they have and the intimacy they’ve shared give them a connection that I hate. 

I shift my Jeep into reverse. Just before I start to back out, Jon looks up. Our gazes lock. My own vision clouds with the tears that have now formed. He takes a step toward me, and I twist in the seat to look behind me as I back out, seeing that the path is now clear. 

“Daenerys!” he calls out my name. Part of me wants to stop, but an even bigger part needs to get away quickly. “Stop!” I look back as I shift into drive and find that Jon now stands where the Jeep once was. A moment passes between us, one I can’t quite understand. One that touches that vulnerable spot deep inside of me and breaks the last strand of strength I hold. 

I hit the gas, and the sound of someone blowing their horn makes me jump as I slam on my breaks long enough to let the car pass before merging out behind them. Looking up into my rear view mirror, I notice Jon at the side of the road, his uncasted hand on his head as he fists his hair on top. The ache inside of me, the one that has been there for days, grows more prominent. I’ve never felt this alone in my life. Even though times have been rough for me, I’ve always had Jon. Now I didn’t even have him. _Ygritte has Jon now._

My phone rings in my purse, and the familiar ringtone tells me it’s Jon. My voicemails are already filled with messages I’ve yet to listen to from him. I can’t bring myself to hear his voice. I’m suddenly thankful for that because no amount of excuses justify why she was there at our apartment with him. She doesn’t belong there in our home.

 

***

 

I drive on auto-pilot until I reach Baelor Park. I wasn’t even thinking of it as a destination, but somehow I end up there. I just need to get away. I need time to think. I park and mindlessly climb out, reaching for my bag as I stumble along numbly. A consistent chirp chimes from my purse announcing that I have calls and messages awaiting, but I don’t care. My heart aches, my head is pounding, and I just want to be alone in my thoughts. 

I sit on a bench, looking out over the hills, as I silently watch others around me enjoying their day. A couple laughs, a few children play, and friends talk. But through it all, I only feel empty, the same hollow feeling I get when I think of the absence of my mother. Times like these were the times I missed her the most. I wish I could call her, talk to her about the feelings I hold inside. I want to ask her if I’m being ridiculous or if I honestly have reasons to worry. 

The tears return, and I just want them to stop. I don’t want to be that girl, the one jealous beyond control. I try to be rational and level-headed, but I just can’t seem to find that part of me. I reach inside my bag, ignoring all the missed calls that await, and scroll through to see my father’s number. 

By the third ring, I figure it’ll go to his voicemail, but am surprised to hear him answer instead. _“Hello.”_

“Dad,” I say with a wavering breath, unsure if he’ll pick up on the shakiness in my voice. “How are you?” 

_“Good,”_ he replies with the same answer as always. _“Uncle Aemon decided to redo his bathroom and recruited me to help.”_

“That’s fun, right?” I lean back against the bench as I attempt to distract my thoughts. “You always liked doing stuff like that.” What I mean to say is that the old him loved that type of work.

 _“What’s going on, Daenerys?”_ His question surprises me. 

“I’m good,” I ensure him, feeling foolish suddenly for giving him back the same nonsense answer that he always manages to give me. “I’m fine,” I further reply, as if that is any better than the first explanation. 

_“Now you sound like me.”_ I laugh because it’s almost like he plucks the thoughts right out of my mind. It’s also so unlike him to pick up on it too. My father is always so robotic lately and rarely does he register my moods. _“Why don’t we cut through the bull and just lay it out straight?”_

My laughter fades and the emptiness returns, leaving me desperate for a connection. 

“I was thinking that maybe I’ll drive up for a visit.” I choose again to move right past what is weighing heavily on my mind. “We could go to lunch and talk.” 

_“We could also get to the bottom of what’s eating at you.”_

“There’s that too,” I finally confess, looking out over the park once more where I see a man scooping a girl up in his arms, her own wrapping around his neck tightly. “I miss her, Dad.” 

The words fall from my lips before I can stop them. When I’m met with silence, I feel awful for allowing my emotions to get the best of me. _“Me too, kid,”_ he whispers hoarsely. _“Every day, with every breath.”  
_

I nod as if he could see me, and together we sit in silence. I’m not sure what he is doing. Whatever it is, he’s taken the time to just sit with me for a while. It is nice. Even though we don’t speak, I know he’s there. I’ll admit I’ve missed him too.


	15. “It’s complicated”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh how i wish there is still the story of 
> 
> "When you hitched your Star to mine"
> 
> and "Until the end of Our days"

**JON**

 

“WHERE IS SHE?” I block Missandei’s path as she tries to get around me. “I’ve come here for the last two days, and I know she’s in this class with you.” I hold out my arm and sidestep to place my body back in front of hers. I’m well aware of the angry look on Missandei’s face, but it doesn’t matter. “She hasn’t been in class. She won’t take my calls.” 

“And you honestly expect her to?” Here we go. I’m finally getting a reaction. “You two have always been inseparable. No one has a relationship like it, at least no one I know. There was never any bullshit, everything was just how you’d seen it. Until you decided to go running back to your _ex_ after Daenerys and you hooked up." 

“That’s not what it was—” 

“Oh really? Because I was _there_ , Jon. I was sitting in the cafe with her while she watched you exit a hotel with Ygritte. I watched the same thing she did, the way the two of you smiled at one another, shared some kind of moment.” By this time, Missandei’s arms are flailing around, and she’s gotten closer to me, irritation rolling off of her in waves. “Let’s not forget that you lied to her about where you were going. Then when you had a chance to redeem yourself, what did you do? _What did you do, Jon?_ ” 

I swallow hard, lifting my hand up to fist my hair. 

“You _lied_ again.” 

“It’s complicated.” 

“The thing that puzzles me the most about this,” Missandei says while letting out a low, frustrated breath. “Is that it’s never been complicated for you two. Everything has always been so easy going. The worst part about all this is that she came home the other day to talk this out and she was forced to watch you and Ygritte together again, leaving an apartment she shares with you. If nothing is going on, then what the hell was she doing in a place you share with Daenerys?” 

I don’t want to be having this conversation with Missandei. I want to be talking it out with Daenerys. She needs to hear it from me, and I try to explain. “I need to talk to her, Missandei.” 

I’m desperate. I miss Daenerys so fucking much that I feel this unbearable ache inside me from her absence. “Will you please tell her it’s not what she thinks and that I just need a few minutes to explain?” 

“Will Ygritte be attending the little get together too?” 

I resist the urge and don’t bite back. Missandei has every right to be bitchy. And Daenerys has every reason to be upset. 

_“She’s gone.”_

Alarm hits me hard, “What?” 

“She went away for a few days,” Missandei replies, sounding defeated, no longer carrying that big attitude she had only moments ago. It looks more like the same defeat I feel inside. “She just needed a break.” She pauses again but only for a few seconds. “You haven’t seen it, _but I have_. Her seeing you with Ygritte has made her question everything. _It’s her worst fears come true._ Not only does she feel like she’s lost you in the relationship sense, she feels like she’s lost her best friend too.” 

“She hasn’t lost me at all.” My heart aches. 

“That’s where you’re wrong, Jon. Daenerys lost that bond the minute you _lied_ to her and _left_ her in bed alone so you could run off and be a hero to your ex.” Missandei steps around me. Only this time, I do nothing to stop her.

 

***

 

“GET UP.” The couch cushion shifts beneath me. I move the pillow to the side and look up to see Robb and Gendry standing over me. “You need to take a shower. You look homeless, man.” 

“Remind me again why you have a key to my place?” I mumble, placing the pillow over my face once more to block them out. 

“Because I’m your boy,” he says this proudly as he pulls away my pillow away. 

“No.” I attempt to grab for it, and in the process, I almost fall off the couch. “You’re a pain in the ass.” 

“We can go out without you.” 

“Good,” I groan, “go.” I wave them off, turning my body away from them and facing the back of the couch this time. I’ve spent every night sleeping in this very spot since Daenerys left. My bed feels too lonely without her next to me, and her bed smells like her, which only makes me miss her more. 

“I thought you said he’s been wanting to talk to her?” Gendry asks Robb. 

“He does,” Robb says, and they carry on as if I can’t hear everything they are saying to one another. “He’s been calling her and texting her but hasn’t gotten the chance to explain.” 

“What the hell are you two going on about?” By this point, I’m sitting up and am staring at them with irritation. These dicks weren’t gonna leave obviously, so there was no point in attempting to fall back to sleep. 

“I got word that your girl is out on the town.” I stare at Robb, and he holds his smirk. “The story is that she spent the last week with her dad, now she’s back feeling like she needs a night out to recover from emotional overload.” 

“She was with her dad?” Robb nods. “She okay?” 

“Emotionally spent from what Missandei said, but they reconnected and her father finally opened up about his heartbreak and loss. She said Daenerys was wrecked by the time she came back.” 

I’ve always been the one she’s turned to when she needs to fall apart, especially after a phone call or visit with her dad. I’ve felt the distance between us over the last weeks, but this only makes it feel like an entire world is separating us. 

“She’s out prowling, man,” Gendry adds, “you gonna let that happen?” 

I don’t answer them as I stand from the couch and hurry to get ready. A quick shower, an even speedier shave with an electric razor just to clean away the longer hairs, and I am dressed and ready within twenty minutes. 

“Let’s go!” I holler out to them as I grab my keys and walk out the door, leaving them scurrying after me to catch up. 

For the first time in days, I am motivated and energized. Having Daenerys gone has been my personal hell. I don’t care what it takes. Before the night ends, I will explain everything to Daenerys. I will put my heart on the line and do whatever it takes to win Daenerys back. 

_She’s my everything._

 

* * *

 

 

**DAENERYS**

 

“YOU FEELING OKAY?” 

I turn away from the band that plays and lean in a little closer to Missandei so she can hear me clearly. “I’m good.” 

She’s been amazing over the last couple of weeks. When I fell apart after Jon secretly met up with Ygritte, she was the one I leaned on to help ease the pain. 

She was also the rock I needed the second time I found them together. After my extended visit with my dad, I’ll admit my first thought after I returned from my trip was to run straight to Jon. I’ve missed him so much, but it seems to be getting a little easier to face with each day that passes. 

I think we made a mistake. We never should’ve let our needs lead our actions. We aren’t meant to be more than just friends. Though being more felt great for a while. 

“Did I tell you I went to look at that apartment I called on yesterday?” 

“You said you spoke with the agent, but that was all.” She leans in a little closer when the beat of the song picks up. The club is so loud that you can barely hear anything around you. “Are you gonna take it?” 

“It reminds me a lot of your place.” I smile when she wrinkles her nose. “I like your place. It’s cozy.” 

“It’s tiny,” she corrects, “and that doesn’t make it cozy.” 

“A place that size is perfect for one person,” I say it out loud but it makes my chest feel tight. I haven’t lived on my own. _Ever._ I’d gone straight from living with my father to moving in with Jon. The idea of living alone makes me feel anxious, fearful even. “It doesn’t have the window seat like yours, but it does have a small balcony that I can sit out on while drinking coffee in the morning.” 

I turn back to the band when she continues to stare at me with an interrogative look. I know all she is attempting to do is read me, trying to find what I’m hiding behind the fake smile. 

I ignore her, as faking my happiness is something I’m learning how to do well. I start to sway with the music, doing my best to appear settled and secure. The club is crowded with people smashed into one another as the loud music plays. I’m in desperate need of this distraction. 

I spent five days with my dad. In the beginning, it was only meant to be one night. But once he opened up, I couldn’t walk away. By the end of those five days, we were both destroyed but in the best possible way. We shared stories of my mother and memories of our times together. My father talked about the first time he met her, how he knew even then that she would be the woman who was it for him. 

He referred to her as his angel, and when I told him she still was, he fell apart. I never imagined holding my father as he cried on my shoulder, but I did for hours it seemed. The love they once shared and could no longer share was breathtaking, and I know that he’ll always love her until his last breath. He would never remarry and he would never forget her. She was, is, and always would be his one and only.

Things are different now between him and me. He apologized more times than necessary over the course of our visit. He knew he’d been absent in my life and that he’d been wrong. But I understood. He was still grieving, and I knew he would be for years to come. He lost himself when he lost my mother. 

Tears cloud my vision as I think of the mornings when I woke and found him sitting on the back porch, the blanket my mother always covered up in draped over his lap. He’d mindlessly play with the fringe, twisting it around his fingers continuously. Slowly he’d sip his coffee, staring off in the distance, lost in a memory of my mother I’m sure. 

It was those mornings I’d see him completely relaxed, almost like a connection he felt with the one he’d missed the most. I never interrupted, just quietly adored. To be loved like that, even though you're gone, to still be remembered and cherished was astounding. It was beautiful, really. Heartbreaking and moving but so unbelievably beautiful. 

Someone grips my hip from behind, and suddenly I’m pulled back into a hard masculine body. “We need to talk.” My body stills. “You can yell. You can hit me. Hell, you can even hate me if you want, but you’re gonna hear what I have to say.” 

I try to turn around, only Jon holds me so tightly against him that it is impossible to shift my weight. 

“Nothing happened,” he states firmly with more conviction than I’ve ever witnessed from him. “Ygritte needed a friend and that’s all it was. I was wrong for lying, and I wish I could go back and change the way I handled things.” 

I look over to find Missandei staring at Jon. The look on her face is one I can’t entirely read. 

“I miss you, Daenerys,” Jon confesses, his lips near my ear, causing warmth to spread throughout my body. However, a tightening feeling tugs at my heart, making me feel almost like I’m suffocating. 

“Don’t.” I shake my head and pull against him harder, finally breaking free. I move through the crowd in search of an escape, but know he’s following me. 

I reach the bar area and pause. What is the point of running now? I brace myself on the back of the bar stool and instantly feel when Jon steps up behind me. _“We made a mistake,”_ I say loud enough to ensure he’s heard it. Only he doesn’t reply. Taking a deep breath, doing all I can to hold back my tears, I turn to face him for the first time in weeks. 

I immediately notice his tired eyes that show the signs of exhaustion along with the stubble on his jaw. A huge part of me wants to reach out and run my finger across that sexy facial hair. But I hold back. “We’ve always been best friends, and we took a chance when we tried to become more. I think that was a mistake. We shouldn’t have pushed it.” 

“Why can’t we be best friends and a couple?” He lifts his hand and reaches out for mine, only I tuck my hand in close to my side. Touching him would be too much right now. “Tell me, Daenerys, why can’t we have both?” 

I try to swallow past the thickness in my throat, a barrier blocking my airway. It’s suddenly difficult to breathe. “No. You tell me,” I counter, blinking rapidly to hold back the tears trying to break free. “Because you can’t be with me when you’re still in love with her.” Saying it out loud confirms my doubts about him. _My doubts about us._

Though I try to remain distant from him, Jon steps closer, invading every inch of my space. He lifts his good hand up toward my face and cups my cheek gently. I close my eyes and attempt to turn away. Looking at him hurts too much. “I’m not in love with her,” he assures me, _“I’m in love with you.”_

 _Wait! He loves me?_

Hearing it shocks me, uncertainty now setting in, leaving an ache that feels almost like a punch in the stomach. I want to believe him. I’m just not sure I can. I shake my head no, which causes his hand to fall away from my face. I take this as an opportunity to move away quickly. Of all the chances he’s had to confess that he loves me, truly loves me more than just a friend, he waits until now. _Until he’s betrayed me._ He thinks that tossing out an ‘I love you’ now to me will fix all his mistakes. If only it were that simple. 

The visions of Jon and Ygritte standing outside the hotel and walking together as they left our apartment are all I can see. _It hurts like hell._

“You’re not in love with me,” I reply with a shuddered breath. “You just need me in your life to have things feel normal. But I can’t be that girl anymore, Jon. Not after this. I can’t pretend that what took place didn’t happen. I’m not wired like that.” 

“Nothing’s changed for us,” he insists, “I’m still me and you’re still you.” 

If only it were that easy. If only I could force myself to believe that nothing took place between them. I wish that I can go back to the way I felt before he went running to Ygritte. No matter how hard I try, I only manage to end up right back where I was that day he betrayed me. The way they once were—smiling and in love. 

“Everything’s changed and we can’t go back there. Not now. Not when you . . .” My voice cracks and I have to pause. All I can picture is Ygritte and Jon holding one another, him comforting her, and that look he’d always get in his eyes when Ygritte snuggled into him. It is awful seeing it in my mind. I just want it to go away. 

“Not when I what?” His nostrils flare as he does his best to hold himself together. The problem is that I still don’t know if he kissed her or slept with her. _But he lied._ If he insists that nothing happened between them, can I believe him now? 

“I just can’t.” I step back and shake my head when he reaches out to med. “Please,” I beg him as a tear slips over my cheek. “Just let it go, Jon.” 

“You’re being dramatic and unreasonable, Daenerys.” He narrows his eyes, his nostrils flared. 

“No.” I back away as I stare directly at him, _“I’m accepting that we should never have let things go as far as they did.”_


	16. "It all makes sense"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short only..

**JON**

 

“THE MOBILITY in your arm looks really good,” my doctor affirms as he continues to examine me, but my head is entirely somewhere else. Suddenly, the need to get better no longer matters. It is easier to sink into the _who gives a fuck mode_ when I’m not forced to care for those around me. Getting better means I’ll have no other choice but to get back out into the real world, and the real world sucks without having Daenerys to share it with me. 

“You need to continue with the physical therapy and the exercises at home,” Dr. Martell continues. “With the progress, you’re making, you’ll likely be released back to work in the next three to four weeks. Make sure you set up your next appointment with Mary before you leave today and continue doing what you’re doing.” 

“Thanks,” I respond with a nod as I slip my shirt back over my head. “See ya next time, doc.” He offers a smile just before exiting the room and leaving me alone with my thoughts. It doesn’t really matter though. Whether I’m alone or not, my mind is always focused on Daenerys. 

_Missing Daenerys.  
_

_Loving Daenerys.  
_

_Being pissed at Daenerys.  
_

_All of Daenerys._

It is like a constant ache within me, one that nothing will fill until Daenerys completes me again. Being at home now just feels empty and cold. I miss seeing her bounce around the place. I miss her smile and her laughter. I even miss the way she’d lay into me after I left a mess around our home. I miss everything about her. 

I move around with purpose. The only reason I get up at all is to pay the bills. If I don’t follow the rules of the doctor, then my paid time off won’t continue. Right now, I prefer to stay tucked away in bed in the dark, walling in my misery, alone in solitude. 

I enter my apartment twenty minutes later to find Missandei there. She rounds the corner, carrying a large box I assume is filled with Daenerys’s things. She freezes, and I do the same as we share a minute of uncomfortable silence. 

“Sending you in for more of her stuff, huh?” 

With a deep breath, I watch her shoulders lift before they fall once more. I can’t be mad at Missandei. Hell, I can’t be mad at anyone except myself. My actions caused this rift. I made a choice, the wrong decision, and this mess is all mine. _If only Daenerys were still mine too._

I don’t wait for her to respond before I move toward the refrigerator and grab a bottle of water. I take my usual position on the couch and allow her to do what she’s come here to do. I can hear her moving around, but I never look away from the TV. Lost in my despair, I never even register what is playing on TV. It’s just a welcome distraction. 

Each item Missandei takes out it is another piece of Daenerys gone from my life. Seeing Daenerys’s things leaving our apartment is a sign that she’s moving out. _Moving on._ It feels like a punch to the gut and hurts like hell. 

“She found an apartment a few blocks from the school.” I look up to find Missandei standing at the end of the couch, Daenerys’s pillow in her hands. I reach out, grab the pillow and pull it from her arms, tucking it in close to my chest. I notice the sad smile she offers me. “It’s a real shit hole, but she’s pretending to be happy about it.” 

“This is her home.” Fuck. The idea of her being anywhere but here infuriates me. 

“She thinks you _slept_ with Ygritte, Jon.” 

“What?” I slide forward on the couch and tuck the pillow at my side. The side furthest from Missandei of course because she isn’t taking it. If Daenerys wants her pillow, she’ll have to come to get it herself. _Childish? Hell yes it is._ But I couldn’t give two shits right now. 

“She thinks that you left her that morning and ran back to the girl that you’ve never stopped loving.” Missandei comes around the end of the couch and sits down near me. “In her mind, that’s why you lied to her because you’re still in love with Ygritte. By me telling you this, I’m violating my friendship with her and all the girl code. Seeing the two of you the way you are? _It’s painful._ I feel like if I don’t say something, then that’s wrong too.” 

“I didn’t sleep with Ygritte,” I assure her. “It was wrong of me to lie. I know that. I was trying to make excuses because I fucked up royally. I left here knowing exactly where I was going. I should’ve told Daenerys, but I think I feared she would think the worst, only see who I was going to see and not the reason I was going.” 

“She does.” 

“Ygritte needs help.” I want Daenerys to be the one I am telling this too, but it is apparent that I may now never get that chance. “She asked me to help her get treatment for her addiction to coke because she’d managed to get exiled from all her friends and her family. Had it been anything more than that and I would’ve walked away without a second thought. Missandei, you know me. I feel like I always have to help people. It’s how I’m wired. _It’s who I am_.” 

“But you need to step back and look at this from Daenerys’s angle.” 

“I know,” I say in frustration, “I have.” I takes a few minutes just to breathe and I try to hold myself together. 

“I was only with Ygritte twice since that morning.” I turn to face Missandei completely as I again hold Daenerys’s pillow in my lap securely. “The first time was at the hotel where we sat the entire time in the bar. Talking. Never once were we alone. The second time was when she took a cab here so that I could drive her to the rehabilitation center that I got to accept her on a six-week program. She knocked on the door, I stepped outside, and never once was she inside this apartment. This is Daenerys’s home, and I wouldn’t do that to her.” 

“Do you know how long I’ve sat back and watched her watch you?” Missandei smiles, and again I am baffled by the idea that I’ve missed all the signs I’d wished for often. “When we’d go out, and a girl would flirt with you, Daenerys would watch from the corner of her eye with an uncomfortable look on her face. Almost like she was silently praying the entire thing would backfire so that you’d go home alone.” 

I look away from Missandei, feeling embarrassed by the things Daenerys had witnessed over the years. 

“But even during the times you didn’t go home alone, I’ve never seen the look on her face that I saw that morning when she watched you with Ygritte. The difference is that _you once loved Ygritte._ Whether you still do, I don’t know. _But you did._ She _knew_ that, she _watched_ it. Daenerys was a witness to all the times you and Ygritte shared. She watched you fall apart when it all ended. You can’t expect her to be okay with you lying about going to meet the one girl to whom Daenerys always felt inferior.” 

I want to argue and tell her that what I feel for Daenerys is so much more than what I ever felt for Ygritte, but I can’t. I understand what she’s saying. _It all makes sense._ We sit side by side for a few minutes before either of us speaks again. 

“I’m gonna need that pillow.” I look over to find Missandei holding her hand out toward me with a knowing smile on her face. 

“Daenerys’s pillow stays with me.” 

“Really?” Laughter escapes her. 

“If she wants the pillow, she can come to get it herself.” 

“Well, okay then, _Love Dovey Dude_ , or should I say, _Lovesick_ Jon?” Missandei stands up and crosses her arms over her chest, and then gives me a wink. _Lovesick Jon?_ I have to admit that you nailed that one, Missandei. “But just so you know that pillow was one of the things she was very persistent about.” 

A sense of excitement hits me because it’s the pillow she stole from me months ago and has slept with nightly since. _Daenerys misses me too._ Why else would she want a pillow that smells like both of us? Get ready, Daenerys. I’m coming for you and claiming you. _All. Of. You._

“Like I said,” I say with a smile that occurs for the first time in what feels like forever. “If Daenerys wants it, she knows where she can find it.” She knows where she can find me. 

With nothing more than a nod, Missandei lifts the small box from the floor and then opens the front door. Looking back at me, she locks her gaze with mine. “I don’t think that you did anything with Ygritte, but I do think you made the wrong choice when you met with her. There’s no reason for me to tell you that though because I can see that you regret it.” 

And with that, she closes the door behind her, and I lean back, holding the pillow close to my face. Burying it against my nose, I sit in the silence, breathing in the scent I’ve missed so fucking much.

 

_Daenerys._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> few more chapters left.. thanks for reading..


	17. “You’re all I see”

**DAENERYS**

 

“HAVE YOU SIGNED THE LEASE YET?” Missandei asks as she looks up at the building I’ll soon call home. “Because I don’t know about this, Daenerys,” she states with apprehension, wrinkling her nose as her lips turned downward. “It just seems like a place you’d run from, not move in to.”

 

“It’s not that bad.” It’s not great either. But it is all I can afford.

 

“You can still back out.”

 

“Where else am I gonna find a place I can afford?” With school and working at the veterinarian hospital to get the experience I’ll later need, it leaves me with minimal options. Jon refused to let me pay for rent so I used what little I made to buy food and other necessities.

 

“You could just continue to stay with me until we graduate.” I look over at her with my eyebrow cocked. “Yes, I know I complain about the limited space. But if there is anyone I’d share it with willingly, it’d be you.”

 

“Thanks, but I think I’ve already exceeded my welcome.”

 

“Or you can go back to your place with Jon.” I look away from her as I feel my heart plummet. “He misses you, Daenerys. _So much._ You didn’t see him sitting there on the couch like an abandoned puppy. He’s lost everything that’s ever meant anything to him.”

 

“He can always call Ygritte. I’m sure she would be more than willing to help him pass the time.” When she doesn’t answer or make some smartass comment, I lift my gaze to hers once more. “What?”

 

“I think you should talk to him.”

 

“I think you should tell me what you know,” I counter, and suddenly she looks uncomfortable.

 

“I ran into him yesterday when I was at the apartment getting you some of the things you wanted.”

 

“You mean when you forgot my pillow?” So it was initially Jon’s pillow, but that doesn’t matter. It is mine now.

 

“He took it from me,” says as she shrugs but doesn’t look away. “He said if you wanted the pillow that you knew where you could find it.”

 

“Are now you think I should talk to him?”

 

“I’m just saying that it may not be exactly what you’ve imagined and that it could very well be a huge misunderstanding.” I narrow my eyes at her because just a week or two ago she was going on and on about what an ass he was for the way he acted. Now she is retracting that opinion and is suddenly the captain of Team Jon. “Nothing is justification for him choosing to lie. I’m still pissed at him for that. But I just think that maybe you should go over to the apartment and get your own pillow.”

“Get my pillow?” I laugh at her craziness.

 

“Yeah.” Again she shrugs as she leans back against the fender of my jeep. “And while you’re there, maybe the two of you should talk too. You know, clear the air so both of you can stop being so miserable apart. It’s truly a buzzkill, Daenerys.”

 

*******

 

I DON’T KNOW why I let Missandei talk me into coming here. Now that I stand just outside the apartment door, the only thing I feel is the urge to run away.

 

My nerves roll around inside of me, making me feel nauseous with worry. The last time I faced Jon, I told him to _let me go_ and _let us go_.

 

I hear the sound of the television playing on the other side of the door, but nothing more. With a deep breath, I place my key in the deadbolt and turn the lock slowly. Taking another deep breath, I twist the knob and push the door open with caution.

 

Jon is asleep on the couch where it looks like he’s been using as a bed. The comforter from his bed is draped over the back, and mine is thrown over him. His head rests upon one pillow, and my pillow or the one I’d stolen from him is in his arms. It is hugged to his chest with his fingers linked together over it, almost like he is ensuring its safety. _It’s actually pretty sweet._

 

His whiskers have grown out, giving him a different look he doesn’t wear often. Jon is usually well-groomed. I tease him often about the amount of time he takes to shave his face perfectly and to get his hair to lay just right. It doesn’t escape me how his appearance has changed. It is almost as if he hasn’t brushed his hair in days. His unkempt look is sexy.

 

When he shifts on the couch, the blanket falls away from him, and his strong leg peeks out from beneath. I remain perfectly still as I watch him sleep.

 

The time I’ve had away from him has been anything but easy. I’ve missed him. It feels good to know he’s there, even if there is nothing I need. His presence alone is comforting.

 

Looking around, I see that the apartment is a disaster, and it makes me smile. He’s never been great about picking up after himself. However, since I’ve been gone, edit’s gotten worse. It’s like a frat house with empty containers of food sitting on the coffee table, a few beer cans scattered around, and countertops littered with items that did not made it to the garbage.

 

Maybe it’s the wrong way of thinking, but I like knowing that he’s a hot mess without me.

 

“You can’t have it.” I look back in his direction, my heart rate spiking from his words. “I told Missandei if you wanted the pillow you had to come to get it for yourself, but I changed my mind. You can’t have the blanket either.” With this, he pulls my comforter in tighter to his chest and hooks his leg around it to gain that extra security. “In fact, you can’t have anything else. It all stays.”

 

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.” I take a step closer and see his throat bob as he swallows hard. This movement alone makes me feel so raw inside. “If I can’t have you, Daenerys, then I can at least pretend that you’re still here. Maybe then it won’t fucking hurt so much.” He closes his eyes tightly, as if to will away the pain. Heart breaking now for him as well as me, I find myself taking another step in his direction, my eyes clouding with unshed tears.

 

“I understand that I was wrong,” he whispers hoarsely. “What I don’t understand is how you could think I would’ve slept with Ygritte when I had you here waiting for me.”

 

“I never thought you’d lie to me,” I confess, sitting on the arm of the couch. He opens his eyes, and their bloodshot presence holds me captive. “You’ve always been the one person I knew I could always count on. I was _safe_ with you.”

 

“You can, and you still are,” he assures me, finally sitting up. “I was afraid of Ygritte coming between us so I lied. Now I know that was the dumbest choice I could’ve made because in the end, _it still cost me the one woman I truly want_.”

 

My heart feels as if someone is reaching inside me and squeezing it with a fist so tightly that it’s caught in my chest, paralyzed, unable to beat.

 

“I love you, Daenerys,” he declares in a raspy voice. Punctuating every word, Jon repeats, _“I. Love. You.”_ Every drawn out word pierces my heart. He twists his hands in front of him, as if to keep them busy and keep him from reaching out for me. “I’ve wanted you for so long, even when I knew I shouldn’t. The hardest thing was pretending that what I felt for you was nothing more than friendship. When on the inside, _I wanted to make you mine_. I need to know: _Are you mine, Daenerys?_ ”

 

Tears continue to cloud my vision, and when he grows hazy from the effects, I look down to hide my emotions.

 

“ _I can’t lose you_. I knew after I held you and kissed you that going back to just friends would be nearly impossible because you were suddenly _more_. _So much more._ If you want us to return to just being friends, it will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, _but I’ll do it_. For you Daenerys, _I’d do anything_.” I look back at him, as a panic I don’t expect fills my chest. “If I cannot have you fully, then I’ll learn to settle with being just friends. _I know it’ll kill me, but I’ll push through it._ _I can’t live without you in my life.”_ He clears his throat, _“It’s too damn hard.”_ I nod my head in agreement because it is hard. My mind is so messed up, but not because I don’t believe him.

 

Once my mind is set on something it is hard to let it go.

 

I think a big part of me already felt that he hadn’t slept with her. I was just too stubborn, a downfall of mine. Each time I allowed myself to picture them together the way they once were, I’d fall down that rabbit hole all over again. The one that made me feel like I was the girl he was using to pass the time until she came back to him.

 

“I’m having a real hard time distinguishing the boundaries between an understanding friend and a jealous girlfriend,” I confess, looking at the floor before me. I try to hold back the emptiness I feel inside. With my lips trembling, I take in one deep breath after another attempt to calm myself. “I don’t know how to separate the two.”

 

I hear him move as the blankets fall to the floor next to me. Suddenly, Jon is standing before me, his hand reaching out to cup my face. With just the right amount of pressure, my chin lifts, and I find him looking down at me. “The thing is, you don’t have to be jealous. Because I love you, Daenerys. I love you.” His nostrils flare, and I recognize it as his way of holding back his own emotions. “I don’t just love you. I’m in love with you.” He leans in, resting his forehead to mine, taking in a deep breath. _“You’re all I see.”_

 

We remain in that position for a few passing seconds before I stand up and wrap my arms around his middle. Jon accepts me, holding me to him tightly, as if he’ll never let me go. The hardness of his cast pushes against my spine but I don’t care. _I need to feel him._ I have so many unanswered questions, and I know we’ll get to that. For now, I just want to stay like we are. I want the ache inside me, the one that has been there from the second he left that morning, to just to go _away._

 

“Come back home, Daenerys,” he whispers against my forehead. “I promise I won’t push for more than whatever you’re willing to give. I just want you here. You’ve always been with me.”

 

I tuck my chin in closer to his chest and inhale him, realizing just how much I’d missed the smell of his body wash, or maybe it is only Jon alone.

 

“Though I’m not sure how I’d handle it if you bring a guy around.” That empty feeling hits me once more. “That just may be the one thing I can’t take. Another guy touching you will drive me over the edge, Daenerys. Another guy touching what’s mine will kill me.”

 

I smile, knowing that he can’t see the way his confession pleases me, the way I want to let him know that _I’m all his._

 

“You need to understand that Ygritte is my weakness.” I don’t look up at him, only hold on to him tighter to ensure I’ll remain in control of myself. Looking at him is too hard in my vulnerable state where I’m sharing what I’ve felt for weeks. “I can’t pretend that I’m okay with her being back in your life.”

 

“She asked me for help, and maybe I should’ve said no.” _He definitely should have said no._ “But she’s hit bottom, and everyone else has turned their backs on her.”

 

“Everyone but you.” I push back from him, suddenly needing space. _“Why do you think that is?”_


	18. “Where do we go from here?”

**JON**

 

“IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.” I feel that familiar panic hit me. “I don’t have unsettled feelings for Ygritte, or some lingering need to get her back.” 

“Then why, Jon? What made you run to her and lie to me?”

It is just now that I get a glimpse of the hurt in Daenerys’s eyes. It was there before. I knew it was. But now that she stands before me, staring back after baring her thoughts and fears to me, it gives me the chance to see it with transparency. _The sense of betrayal.The doubt.The fear._ It is all there in plain view.

“When she called I didn’t even recognize the number because I don’t still have it programmed in my phone. She didn’t even sound the same with her voice shaking like she was scared.” I lift my hand in a nervous twitch and fist the hair at the back of my head. “She started crying and told me that she didn’t have anyone to turn to. She wanted my help, and the only thing I kept thinking was, _‘What kind of person would turn their back on someone when they were practically begging to be saved?’_ ”

I see the way Daenerys looks away from me, as if the reason behind my actions isn’t good enough. “If you’d gotten a closer look at her—”

“I don’t want to get a closer look,” Daenerys challenges, crossing her arms over her chest. I feel a smile tug at the corner of my mouth, strangely satisfied by her jealousy. 

“But if you looked,” I arch my brow as I wait for her to interrupt once again. When she doesn’t, I continue. “You would see what I saw. _What I see._ You would see how strung out she is. How thin and frail she looks. How terrified she feels that she’s reached the bottom and has no way out.”

Now Daenerys pays attention, though I can still sense her hesitance.

“She can’t weigh more than one hundred pounds. Her hands twitch while she looks around constantly like someone is out to get her. They’re all effects of her cocaine addiction.” Daenerys’s eyes widen. “Not once during the time I sat with her in the bar of her hotel did she act as if she was searching for more than a helping hand. She hugged me once outside and thanked me because no one else offered her what she desperately needed. What she needs to heal. The day you showed up at our place, she’d been here only a few minutes before and never once stepped inside this apartment. She knocked, and we left.”

I want to take Daenerys back into my arms, but I understand her need for space.

“That was the second time I’d seen her since she called and it was the day I dropped her off at the rehabilitation center that I got her in to. They agreed to take her into their six-week treatment program.” Daenerys looks toward the floor, and I don’t miss the way her chest rises and falls as she takes in one deep calming breath after another. Maybe it is in relief. I don’t know.

“She asked me to help her, and I did. The only thing I regret about it is that I wasn’t honest with you in the beginning.”

“Why weren’t you?” She lifts her head, and I look into her piercing amethyst eyes that are now filled with tear.

“Because I stood next to your bed that morning, looking down at your sleeping form, and the only thing I thought of was that I couldn’t lose you. So I thought I’d sneak out, figure out what Ygritte needed, tell her I was in love with you, and move on. It was supposed to be simple and lead to no interruption of what you and I had.”

“It was so easy for you to lie —” I shake my head in disagreement before she even finishes the sentence. “You looked me in the eyes— ** _not once but twice_** —and told me that you were helping Robb.”

“I know.” I reach for her, and she backs away. That was the one thing that broke us. “I knew Ygritte would make you feel threatened because she’s always been the one you couldn’t stand. Even before things changed between you and me, I understood she was a hard limit for you." 

“But you still helped her?” I slowly nod. “I’m trying not be selfish about this and understand that she needed a friend. _You being the white knight of a guy_ you are couldn’t say no. But you have to understand it isn’t as easy as it sounds.”

“I do.”

“All you had to do was tell me.” Daenerys allows her arms to fall to her sides. Anger fills her as her nostrils flare in frustration. “It’s simple: _‘Daenerys I know you won’t like this but Ygritte called, and she needs help. I don’t know what’s going on yet, but she sounded bad. I’m gonna go talk to her, but I can promise you it’s nothing more than a friend helping a friend.’_ **Why is that so hard?!?** _”_

She screams the last sentence, choking on her tears.

“I deserve more than your _lies_. Ygritte got the _truth_ , and **_I got the lies_.** How am I supposed to be okay with that? Tell me, Jon, because I don’t know how to _let it go_.” 

“I can’t tell you how to do that.” I want to be able to make her forget, but I know there is no way I can. “You are the only one who can choose to forgive me. I can only assure you that I’ll never lie to you again. Whether it can hurt you or not, I promise to be completely honest about everything going forward.” 

“And I have to be able to accept that you’ll do just that.” It is debatable as to if that is a question or a statement. I just know that whatever it is, it’s the line drawn between us moving forward or staying in this ugly rut we’re in now.

“Where do we go from here?”

“That’s up to you,” I tell her, the ache of losing her all over again hitting me hard. “I will say though that I’m hoping we get past this because as I said, I don’t want to lose you, Daenerys. _I want you as mine_.”

 

***

 

“HEY.” I turn around, seeing Daenerys’s silhouette standing in the doorway of the reading room. Her body is highlighted by the light shining from the one single light above the stove. “Why are you sitting in here in the dark?” 

“Just thinking,” I look away from her because it is _too hard_ to stare when I can’t even touch her. She’s decided to let the other apartment go. Although Daenerys has been back for only a few days, and we’ve agreed to work through the distance between us, it feels like we are even further apart. _It hurts.Damn, does it hurt._ We spend most of our time avoiding the other, passing in the hall, offering a smile or nod like almost strangers _. It’s torture._

“Anything I can help you with?” She asks, her bare feet tapping against the tiled floor as she takes a few steps closer.

“Unless you have some type of magic power I don’t know about, one that can erase the last couple months, then I don’t think so.” I instantly hate my response, although it’s the truth.

She grows silent. Honestly, I have no idea what to say. So I too remain quiet. I’d hoped that with her moving back home, things would be easier for us to repair. It is just the opposite, and I am not sure how to deal with it. _How to deal with us_.

“Couple of months, huh?” I nod. “So back to before you and I—”

“I’m trying really hard right now not to get frustrated, but you automatically assuming that I’m talking about us is making it hard.” I turn in the chair just enough to see her face in the darkness. She is close enough now that I can see her clearly. “I don’t know what to say to you, how to show you that _I don’t regret us_. I’d do that part all over again even if it leads us to this moment right here. You wanna know why?” 

She doesn’t reply but tilts her head slightly.

“Because for just a short time _, I felt what it was like to have you as mine. I felt your body against mine, and I got to see that look on your face when you got lost kissing me._ So when I’m talking about the last couple months, I’m talking about _all the bullshit, all the shit that fucked up my chance with you.”_

I’ve given her doubt, I know that, but I’ve also been patient and understanding too. I’ve accepted her looks of disappointment, her lingering discomfort, and not once have I ever questioned any of them. I put them all there, so I have no right to question her reactions. But I’m tired, I'm defeated, and I have nothing left. 

“I’m sorry,” I say, hanging my head as I close my eyes. “I don’t know what to say to make you see how much I regret—”

“You don’t have to say anything.” I look up just as she walks around the chair I am sitting in. “I know I haven’t made things easy on you, and I’m working on it. I swear I am.” She kneels down on the floor before me, her hand resting on my knee. “I just wanna be able to look at you again and not see _her_ hugging you, or _her_ —”

I reach out, hooking her under her arms, and pull her into my lap. A surprised look covers her face. Wrapping my hand around the back of her neck, I pull her lips to mine, forcing her to see something else other than the fucked up visions she’s created in her mind. _“See me,”_ I whisper before kissing her again. _“See us,”_ I whisper again, her rigid body now relaxing in my arms as she melts into our kiss. “I want you, Daenerys. _Only you._ ” 

With my forehead resting against hers, I close my eyes and circle my arms around her, holding her tighter. It feels like forever since she’s been in my arms. A warm feeling mixed with both longing and peace floods my body as I finally have Daenerys close to me again. 

I don’t want _this feeling_ to end.

I don’t want _this_ to end.

_I don’t want us to end._

Daenerys combs her fingers through the hair at the back of my head, and I give in to the comfort it provides. For the first time in weeks, I’m able to let go of the fear I’ve felt inside. My body sags against hers and I feel her lips brush over the corner of my mouth. “I’ll get there, Jon,” she whispers before kissing me once more. “I promise.” Her lips tremble when she kisses me a second time just before I feel a tear drip onto our lips.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I assure her. “It hurts like hell to have this distance between us, but _you’re worth it_. _You’re worth everything, Daenerys_.”

“You’re worth it too. I love you, Jon.” An ache settles deep in my stomach. _Daenerys loves me too._ “That’s what makes this even harder. Because even if I wanted to walk away, I don’t think I could and survive it. Not with my heart intact.”

“I’ll chase after you,” I say through a smile when she softly laughs. “I’m talking follow you wherever you go and drive you insane until you come back to me kinda shit.”

“Stalker much?”

“Only the best stalker, the _Fatal Attraction kind_ for you, babe.” I pull back to look at her when she wrinkles her nose. “Okay, so without all the violent moments.Though if there is ever another guy in the picture, I could most definitely reach that level.” 

She smiles while I remain entirely straight-faced. I wasn’t even joking a little. If this doesn’t work out, I’ll have to move to Essos or something to escape the chances of ever witnessing her with another man.

“I like the idea of you getting jealous and going all cave man. Does that make me petty and immature?”

“No,” I say as I push the hair back from her face so I can stare into her big amethyst eyes.

 

“It just means that my chances with you aren’t completely shot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 chapters left..
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING!!!
> 
> I really appreciate all your comments and KUDOS..
> 
> THANK YOU!!!


	19. “Tell me your mine, baby. All mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something to lift our spirits after D&D crushed them..😭😭😭😭😭

**DAENERYS**

 

“THIS IS GIZMO,” Dr. Elia says as she lifts the beautiful tabby cat onto the table. “He’s lost sight in his left eye, and has had an ongoing battle with diabetes.”

Gizmo, laid out on the cold steel table, turns his head in my direction. His purr box is already going as he stretches his paws out before him. I can’t stop myself from running my hand over his head as I scratch gently behind his ears.

“You do that, and he’ll be your friend forever.”

“How old is he?” I ask, looking up as the doctor gathers her equipment.

“Gizmo is nine years old and has been coming in to see me since he was about a year old.” I watch as Dr. Elia begins to examine Gizmo. The big and brave guy doesn’t even flinch. “It’s almost like he already knows what’s coming.” He remains completely calm.

“He is definitely one of my easier patients.”

I don’t honestly know what started my fascination with animals or my need to treat them. I guess I just look at them as helpless and unable to ask for what they need. I want to fix them, save them, and care for them. It is a need inside that nothing seems to tame but the reassurance that the animal in need gets my help.

The longer I sit and watch Dr. Elia treat Gizmo, the deeper the knot inside seems to grow. A sense of clarity sweeps over me. An understanding of just what may have passed through Jon’s mind when Ygritte asked for his help. He is a nurturer too—just in a different form. It isn’t always an emotional connection, but more of desperation inside of him that needs to be soothed. Jon’s primary goal is to help others. It’s why being a fire fighter is the perfect career for him as he’s not only saving lives but doing what he loves.

Tears fill my eyes as I picture the emptiness in Jon’s stare when he watches me from across the table each night. Things have been so stressed between us. I know that we’re trying, but now I understand that it is me holding us back.

I’ve taken a hit to my ego, a tainted swing at my trust.

If he wanted Ygritte, I’m sure he could’ve had her. _But he wants me._ Even after I push him away, he still wants me.

Gizmo meows, tilting his head as he pushes it against my hand. “You stopped,” the doctor says with a laugh, and I feel just a small amount of that tension that I’d been holding ease.

“And we’re done,” I look up to see Dr. Elia pull back with a needle in hand. It amazes me that Gizmo doesn’t even flinch when she gives him a shot. He just accepts it like a champ.

 

***

 

_“HELLO?”_

I close my eyes, letting the sound of his voice sink in through the other end of the line.

_“Daenerys?”_

“Yeah, I’m here,” I squeeze out, forcing myself to speak. My heart races as my hands shake. “Where are you?” Sitting on the bottom step leading upstairs to our apartment, I’m unable to go inside. He isn’t home, and that disappointment filled me the moment I pulled in to find that his space was empty.

 _“Just waiting for my session to start.”_ I hate how hollow his voice sounds. It’s missing that charm. That spark it’s always held. “Ready to have this shit done and get back to work. I need something to fill my days with right now."

I know he isn’t purposely attempting to make me feel bad, but I feel like crap. I’ve felt the emptiness in our home. I’ve felt the lingering sadness whenever we both sit in the same room.

“Maybe we can rent a movie for tonight.” When he doesn’t say anything in return, my stomach does that crazy nervous flip that instantly makes me wonder if I’ve pushed too hard for distance. That maybe he’s finally accepted that we aren’t together and now he no longer needs that connection. “I’m  planning  on  making  that  pasta  you  like  and  maybe  even  cheesecake  for dessert.”

 _“Depends.”_ His voice continues to hold that same monotone. _“You making regular cheesecake or that Oreo cookie one you made a few months back?”_

A smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. “That depends. Which one do you like better?”

_“Oreo.”_

“Then I’ll make that one.” I wish more than anything for him to be standing before me so that I can see his gorgeous smile. “Do you wanna choose the movie, maybe grab it on your way home?”

 _“I can do that.”_ Maybe it is all my imagination, but he sounds less drained and distant. _“Do you have a preference?”_

“Funny or a romantic comedy even,” I suggest, then instantly think that maybe I should have left the suggestions out.

 _“Let’s skip the romance side of things.”_ He covers the receiver, leaving his voice muffled, and I realize that he must have been talking to someone else. _“Listen, it’s time for me to go back. I’ll pick up something that makes us both scream in fear.”_

I can say a million things right now. Instead, I allow him to end the call.

I remain seated in the same space and feel my _heart ache_.

 

* * *

 

**JON**

 

WE SIT across the table from each other; the only sounds are our silverware when they clink against the ceramic plates. Every so often Daenerys lifts her wine glass or I’ll raise my beer and the tap of each as they are placed on and off the tabletop can be heard.

“How long are we gonna do this?” I ask before I have the chance to stop myself. Daenerys looks up from her plate and stares at me with a blank look on her face. “We sit in the same damn room, yet we pretend we’re alone. We pass in the hallway on the way to the bathroom, and we look at the floor instead of one another. We move around like we’re nothing more than strangers, ships passing in the night.”

She swallows hard, her throat bobbing from the movement.

“Besides a few weak moments on your part and mine, we’ve been nothing more than two people existing. _Two fucking strangers_ so uncomfortable that we walk around like the ground is gonna shatter beneath us.” I don’t know how much more of it I can take.

“I’m sorry.” Daenerys pushes her plate away. “I was hoping that . . .” she pauses, looking around the table at the dinner she made. “I don’t know what I was hoping.”

She stands in a hurry, the chair beneath her wobbling from her forced movements. My heart rate spikes and I frantically follow her actions with my eyes.

Before I have the chance to say anything more, she rushes from the dining area and walks toward her bedroom without looking back.

“Daenerys!” I holler, my mind catching up with what’s taking place. “Wait!” She pauses, not even turning around to face me. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

I step up behind her, watching as her shoulders rise and fall with the deep breaths I know she’s taking. I want nothing more than to reach out and pull her close. It’s all I ever want to do, but the fear of her reactions leave me paralyzed.

“No,” she finally whispers, “you’re right.” Slowly Daenerys turns around to face me, her head still tilting downward, as she looks at the small amount of space separating us. “We have been more strangers than friends, and I know it's my fault.”

I start to shake my head in disagreement but she then looks up with fresh tears on her face that slice me in half, stripping me of everything inside.

“I believe you that nothing happened. I’ve already told you that.” I fist my hands at my sides when her voice trembles with the sadness she feels. “But what I didn’t tell you was that I forgive you for lying because I wasn’t sure that I could give you that. I couldn’t look past the sense of betrayal. The anger I had knowing that _you chose her over what we had_ ate at me.”

Fear hits me, and again I shake my head.

“You did, but it’s _okay_. I understand it now. _I still don’t like it, but I get it_. It’s who you are, the guy that needs to help those in need. The one who is desperate to keep anything bad from happening whenever the chance is presented.” She inhales a deep breath. “I know you didn’t set out to hurt me. I guess I just had to get over it in my own time, and I had to know that what you feel for her is innocent.”

“It is,” I assure her, though it’s not needed at this point. “I hate how things are between us.”

“Me too .” More than anything.

“I don’t wanna be like this anymore.” Her lower lip trembles, her eyes once again filling with tears. “I just want my friend back.”

“Is that all? Are we just friends, Daenerys, or are we _more_?”

There is a long pause. _Too long._ Her eyes lock with mine with a look of resolution on her face. Only I don’t know the results. Friendship or more? I watch her, silently pleading for the answer I need. _More_. If she tells me that friendship is all she wants, it will shred me to pieces.

“I need us,” she confesses. “I need you to be you, and I need to be me. I want _all_ of it back. I want your comfort and your touch—”

I don’t let her finish because it has already been too long since I’ve held her. I step forward, placing one hand on each side of her face, and pull her in close. My lips crash with hers, a desperate kiss that conveys so many things. _A kiss to feel those lips and that fire from her touch.A kiss to let her know how much I love her.A kiss to make her mine again._ She moans, and I take the opportunity to deepen our kiss. Her sweet tongue rolls with mine, the satisfied whimper that she gives makes me only strive for more.

“I want you too,” I assure her, still holding her face in my hands. “I never stopped wanting you, not even for a second.”

Daenerys places her hands on my sides, her touch igniting a pang of hunger in me. I back her up to the wall behind us, using the weight of my body to hold her hostage. _I can’t let her go. Not yet._ Feeling like a lifetime since I’ve kissed her, my body shakes from the rush of adrenaline that race through me. So many visions, so many wants surge through me at once.

“You’re all I need.” My sides twitch when her fingertips touch the skin beneath the hem of my shirt. “Damn, I’ve missed you. _Missed everything about you._ ”

She bites my lower lip and gives it a gentle tug. The movement alone electrifies me from the tip of my toes to the ends of my hair. Fuck. She is a jolt of electricity that leaves me jittery and unsteady on my feet.

“It’s _you and me_ , baby,” I whisper into our kiss. “I’ve never needed anything more than I need you.”

“Me too.”

“I love you, Daenerys.” My hands shake as I release her face and search for her hands instead. She links her fingers with mine, the best my casted hand will allow, and I lift our joined hands above her head. Pinning them to the wall behind us, she arches her back and looks up at me through her long lashes.

“No more.” I pause, trying to reword all the things I want to say in my mind. “Nothing comes between us. I can’t take it, being without you. _It’s too hard. It’s left me empty._ You’re the only one that can fill this space inside me. I can’t do that again, Daenerys. It’s killed me.”

“I can’t either,” she confesses too as my last amount of resolve fades.

“Tell me we’re okay, Daenerys,” I demand, but need to hear it. When she nods, I kiss her once more. “Tell me your mine, baby. _All mine_.”

“And you’re mine,” she demands in return.

“Deep down, I’ve always been yours. It’s always been you, Daenerys.” I know that now without a doubt.

She tugs against me, and I loosen my grasp, giving her what she needs. What I need too. Daenerys links her arms together tightly around my neck and then begins to climb me. I offer her the support she strives for and bind her legs quickly behind my back. “I need you to remind me of what it feels like to be yours.” Excitement races through me when she nips at my jaw. “I need to feel you—every part of you—and need you to erase all the distance between us.”

I don’t take the time to ask any questions. The want in her voice is all I need. With my hands holding her ass firmly, I secure her small body against mine as I lead her down the hall to her bedroom.

Laying her on her bed, I cover her beautiful body with my own, still kissing her softly. Each time I pull back, her eyes open, and she looks up at me with desperation. She wears the same look I’ve craved so many nights and wished for the chance to see again.

“Every doubt fades now,” I state, and she looks up at me with a puzzled expression. “If this is gonna happen, then I need to know that tomorrow we aren’t gonna wake up and go back to the same shit. I need you, Daenerys, _all of you_. _You’re all I want. You’re all I need_. I need to know that all your questions and fears are gone so I can focus on you, Daenerys. I want to devour every inch of you while you scream my name in pleasure. I want to own not just your body but your soul.”

“Yes,” says softly as she applies just enough pressure to the back of my neck to tug me in closer.

With her lips hovering above mine, she gazes up at me. “ _You’re mine, Jon_ , and nothing or no one is gonna take that from me.”

“No, they aren’t.” It has never even been an option. Daenerys has owned me for longer than I think either of us realize. Everything I’ve ever done or even thought of doing, I’ve done with her in mind. She’s always been there, always the one person I’ve valued the most. We’ve always complemented each other, offering each what the other was lacking. It’s crazy how everyone around us knew and saw what neither of us ever could. _  
_

_Until now._

***

 When his mouth found her breast. Even through her lacy bra, the sensation of his warm mouth had her nipple hardening into a tight little bud. She threw her head back in the pillow as he continued to suck her into his mouth. The rubbing of the lace against her puckered nipple was too much. She quickly unhooked her bra and threw it to the side. “There,” she said triumphantly to Jon. He grinned. “Thanks for the help.”

And then his mouth was fused to her other breast. He bit and sucked and kissed and nipped, and Daenerys thought her legs would turn into a puddle of mush on the bed. Good thing she was lying down trapped with Jon’s hard body. She threw her head back as far as the soft pillow would allow, letting herself accept all of the pleasure Jon was giving her. She felt his hand travel down over her stomach, eliciting a small whoosh of breath as he passed over her ticklish spot. Then it kept going until it reached the waistband of her leggings.

His clever fingers wasted no time moving lower until they were under her pants and circling her panties. Next thing she knew Jon had cupped her. His mouth moved from her breast to kiss her long and soundly as his hand stayed steady covering her center. He was much more patient than she was, and she let him know that by letting out a full moan into his mouth. She thought she heard him chuckle in triumph, or maybe that was her imagination. But when he took the opportunity to push his tongue into her mouth at the same time as one of his fingers slid inside of her, she didn’t care who was winning.

His tongue mirrored what his finger was doing between her legs. In and out, in and out. Daenerys arched her back against the bed, trying and failing to composed herself. Then Jon pushed a second finger inside her, and she knew she was close to losing it completely.

“Jon,” she murmured against his lips.

“Yes,” he answered. “That’s it. Come for me, baby.”

If she must. Daenerys closed her eyes and let the overwhelming sensation of pleasure wash over her as her body emptied into Jon’s waiting hand. He made a purely male sound. A sound of satisfaction. Then his hands were at her hips and those fingers once again became busy wrapping around her waistband.

In one fast, fluid movement, Jon yanked both her leggings and panties down throwing them out of the bed. She felt his mouth on her legs, as he laid gentle kisses over every inch of her. First one leg, then the other, starting at her calves and moving up to nip at her knees. His tongue licked at her thighs, as his hands came around to explore the shape of her ass.

He traveled all the way up to the vee of her legs, which was pulsing with need, with want, with a yearning to release the most exquisite of pleasures. His mouth covered her, and she bucked against the bed. Her hands went to his head, trying to grab his hair. As his tongue flicked out to tease her, she clasped on to his head, holding him against her wanton pussy. She felt a vibration and realized he was doing something beyond amazing with his lips. She gripped his head tighter. My God, she was going to suffocate him, but she couldn’t worry about that now as his tongue was darting in and out of her center, causing stars to form behind her eyes.

She was close, very close, yet torn about whether she wanted this delicious pleasure to end giving her what was sure to be an earth-shattering release or if she wanted Jon to stay just like that, doing just that, for the rest of her days.

When his finger pressed against her nub, she knew the decision was out of her hands. She couldn’t hold on any longer. His name ripped from her lips in a loud moan as she came. Spent, she willed her breathing to slow down, but she was helpless to do anything but lay on the bed and wait for Jon’s next attack.

He immediately complied by trailing feather-soft kisses across her stomach. His hands were busy exploring every inch of her. “I missed you so much.” He leaned his head back, and she looked down to see him lick his lips. _“Your taste.”_ He fondled her breasts again, but gently, so gently. _“Your smell.”_ Then his mouth covered one and he pulled her taut nipple into his mouth, sucking hard.

He hovered over her, returning to her mouth, leaning in for what was sure to be another hot kiss, but Daenerys stopped him with a finger to his mouth. “Uh-uh,” she said. “Your turn.” She reached down and plucked the waistband of his boxer briefs, pulling and let them gently snap back. “I think you deserve some attention now.”

He shook his head and bit her lower lip. “Nope. Baby, if you go down there I won’t be able to make it. And I need to be inside of you. Now.”  He shoved his boxer briefs to the floor, and quickly climb back to the bed and position himself to her. “Are you ready?” he asked, his voice sounding deeper than she’d ever heard it. His eyes had gone dark with need. _Want for her_.

“Yes,” she said. “Make me yours again.” She felt the tip of his penis at her center. His arm came out and wrapped around one of her legs, yanking it around his waist. There was a brief moment, where they still like that, eyes boring into each other. They were naked and about to be joined in every way possible.  Right there, in the sanctity of their apartment.

Remembering all the times that they wasted apart, Daenerys places her hand in Jon’s but and gently squeeze it, pulling it towards her entrance.

“What do you want, Daenerys?” She didn’t have to think twice.

“I want you inside of me. Now, Jon, now. Please...”

With that, he pushed into her, wrenching a moan from her trembling lips. He sighed deeply and kissed her.  “You’re _mine_ ”

She took stock of her body, allowing it a moment to remember the completeness that only Jon can give to her. “Yes.” The word was half spoken, half moaned. He began to move inside her. One arm still held her leg, the other was braced against the pillow next to her head. He pulled out slowly, torturously. She thought he was going to exit her body completely, then at the last possible moment, he slammed back into her, hard. Then he repeated the movement over and over again. Slide out gently, slowly. Push back in with such force as to make her legs weak. It was a decadent combination between massive pleasure and exquisite pain. “Jon, yes.”

He began to move faster then. She tried to meet him thrust for thrust, but she was positioned at an awkward angle. As if reading her mind, Jon reached down and grabbed her other leg. She gasped. She was wrapped around him, her body spread open to him in every way. He pushed into her with reckless abandon, her back slamming against the bed. A sheen of sweat had begun to bead on his skin, but Daenerys did her best to hang on, her arms twined tightly around his shoulders. Her nails were digging into his back as he fucked her thoroughly and completely.

“Daenerys ahhh,” he screamed as he rammed himself into her. She’d never been taken like this before. It was as if Jon couldn’t get enough of her. Pouring his love with every thrust that he makes. All the desperation on the last couple of days and weeks apart are slowly melting away. She was driving him as mad as he was driving her. He was losing it. She could tell. But then again, so was she.

How could she climax for a third time in such a short period of time? There was no time to think on that as her body began to tremble, her pussy clenching around his warm, hard cock. She panted his name over and over. “Yes, baby, come for me again.” Without hesitation, she did. Her body shook, and she let out a guttural moan that she’d never heard before. Then with one final move, Jon pushed deep within her, his fingers tightening around her legs as he experienced his own release. _  
_

***

I HOLD her body to mine, not caring in the least that we feel sticky. It’s hot, but I'm not ready to let her go. Her body is still draped over mine, her perfect tits smashed against my chest. She still straddles me as I remain buried inside of her, my piece of heaven. We each take in one deep breath after another, neither of us attempting or should I say willing to move.

“That was . . .” she pauses and I smile against the top of her head where I’d pressed my lips moments ago. “Wow,” she adds and this time I chuckle. The movement makes her small body bounce against mine.

“That’s what weeks apart caused, a full-out desperation for the touch of the other.”

“Well in that case, maybe we should take—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, woman!” She laughs this time, and I tickle her sides. Her body slips off mine and falls to the side, making me instantly regret my actions. I already miss her warmth.

“I’m just saying that if abstinence leads to animalistic activities like we just shared, we should take that into consideration.” She shrugs, and I reach out to push away the mess of silver hair that cover half her face. “I feel like I just spent two straight hours at the gym without even a five- minute break.”

“You complaining? From the sounds I heard, babe, you were definitely satisfied.”

“Absolutely not .” Her body slides closer to mine. Daenerys looks up at me from beneath her long lashes with a smile on her lips. “My only complaint is that it’s now over.”

“Who says it’s over?” I challenge her as always. Life is just better all-around with Daenerys in it. “I’m just taking a little breather before we go for round two.”

“Is that so?”

I lean over, kissing the corner of her mouth, as I press my now hardening cock against her leg. “It is definitely so,” I whisper as I kiss along her jaw toward her neck. “In fact, now that I’ve got you next to me, I’m thinking I’m gonna keep you here for a while.” A moan falls from her lips when I suck softly at the base of her neck. “How’s that sound?”

“Good,” she whimpers, “Oh yeah, that sounds perfect.”

In our rush to reconnect with one another, neither of us considered protection, but I wasn’t worried with Daenerys. I know she’s clean and I too. The fear of pregnancy isn’t a concern. If it happens, it would be just another part of her that would be mine. But in the back of my mind, I know we have it covered because Daenerys is a stickler about her pills. Living with her for as long as I have, I know she is consistent. A bit of an OCD fanatic about it is an understatement.

She rolls onto her back, allowing my own body to move with hers. Her hair is damp and sticking to her face in some places. The natural waves are now more of a ratted mess. Her cheeks are still red from the hot make-up sex we just had and her skin is glowing. She simply looks beautiful.

“What movie did you get?” she asks as she wiggles her hips beneath me.

“Conjuring,” I smile when she wrinkles her nose at me. “I told you I wasn’t going for anything with romance.”

“Why?”

“Because it would have just made it even harder for me to keep my distance from you.” Her fingers comb through my hair, and I fight the urge to allow my eyes to fall shut. It doesn’t matter where we are or what we’re doing, when Daenerys touches me, a sense of calm takes over. With Daenerys comes a sense of peace I’ve never felt anywhere or with anyone else.

“Do you understand even for a second how hard it’s been for me to keep my distance?” Her fingers pause in my hair as she looks up at me, her face void of whatever she is feeling. “Since the first night you’ve been back here, I’ve laid awake wishing that you’d come to me. Even if it meant all I’d gotten was the chance to hold you. It was torture knowing that you were under the same roof as me, yet I could have you at my side. But even though that was the hardest thing to face, it was worth it because what was even harder was not being able to see you every day.”

For a second maybe two, she presses her eyes tightly together as if to rid herself of some terrible vision.

“And I laid awake in my room each night wishing for the same things.” When she opens her eyes again, they lock on to mine. “I know I said I needed time, but I’ll admit now I think I just needed to know that you wanted me—only me—even more.”

“I do want you,” I murmur, kissing her softly, “and only you. I’ve spent the last couple of years wanting you, so scared for you to know because it could have cost me everything.”

“So much time wasted.” She smiles, though in her eyes I see a hint of sadness.

“Not anymore.” Her legs part as I shift my hips against hers. Within seconds, I’m sliding inside of her once more. Her back arches, her hands fist my hair, and for the next hour, we are once again lost in one another.

The memories of the torturous weeks that passed are nothing but a distant memory. With our bodies formed as one, we show without words just how desperately we need and love each other.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They killed Missandei!!
> 
> Burn them ALL!!!
> 
> DRACARYS!!!🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥


	20. "It’s always been Daenerys"

**DAENERYS**

 

LISTENING to my father laugh through the phone or even in person is something I haven’t heard since before my mother passed. Well, with the exception of my recent visit with him. I distinctly remember him smiling and laughing while we talked about memories of my mom once all the tears had passed. 

Sitting on the lounger near the pool at our apartment, I watch as Jon sits on the edge of the pool, his feet dangling in the water below, while my father’s laughter fills my ear. 

_“I think I’ve gotten a new kind of ornery streak. A love for tormenting if you will.”_ His deep chuckle rings out, and suddenly I feel like I’m time-warped back to the days I would see him sitting at my mother's side, his head tilted back in laughter as his chest shook from its impact. _“Uncle Aemon sure does get worked up though. But who wouldn’t when they put change in their pockets only to have it fall out the bottom of your pant leg and spill to the floor.”_

“You didn’t.” I find myself laughing as I picture my six foot two, burly and broad uncle looking down at his feet wondering for a split second if he actually missed his pocket. 

_“Oh, I did,”_ he confirms and I picture his smile, _“cut the bottoms off each one of his pockets and hung them back up. But it my defense he started it. He stitched shut the arms of my favorite jacket. Do you know how long it took me to pull those threads out one by one?”_

“You do know they have a tool for that.” Jon looks back at me with an arched brow. “It’s called a seam ripper.” 

_“A fork was available."_

“You used a fork?” I shake my head, my cheeks beginning to ache from the smile plastered on my face for the last five minutes. 

These conversations are so much easier to have, and I find myself looking forward to my weekly calls to my dad now. They are no longer filled with empty words and long silences. Though I know my dad greatly misses my mother, it feels good to have even a small sliver of the man he once was back. 

_“How’s Jon feeling?”_

I look up to see Jon walking toward me. I can’t actually see his eyes hidden beneath the aviators he wears, but I know they are glued to me. 

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” Before my dad has the chance to reject, I hold the phone out toward the shirtless man before me, feeling a rush of excitement when his lips lift upward to form that sexy smile of his. 

“Mr. Targaryen,” Jon says in greeting just before he chuckles. “Aerys.” I know my father has given him shit about calling him Mr. “I’m feeling better, thanks.” 

There is a pause as Jon nudges my leg out of the way so he can sit on the lounger. Picking up the same leg he just moved away, he places it into his lap. Now sitting between my legs, his free hand casually runs over the length of my calf. 

“I’ve got another week with the cast.” Jon tilts his head downward, his tongue lightly skimming over his lower lip as if deep in thought. The smoldering gleam in his eyes remains hidden, but I know his naughty look is reserved just for mere. 

Chills break out over my legs, and he grins as he looks over in my direction. 

“I’d like that,” Jon says to my father, yet he still remains fixed on me. One day he’ll realize that it is impossible to hide his thoughts from me. I know him too well from years of watching him when he wasn’t looking. That did not sound stalkerish at all. His mannerisms are so easy to detect. “We can make a weekend of it.” 

Now I am curious as to what it was they are planning, and the thought alone makes me unbelievably happy. 

“You got it, Sir,” he says while chuckling again. “Okay. Sorry. Aerys. I promise to make her smile as many times as possible each day.” They are talking about me and I can’t help but glow inside from the joy of it. 

Jon nods, his lips pressing into a tight line as he shifts his head in the opposite direction. His movement alone gives me all I need to know—my father is reminiscing about a memory of my mother. 

“You’re right. Life is too short.” Jon clears his throat, “Daenerys means the world to me,” he affirms and looks back in my direction, his hand resting on my thigh. “It took too long for me realize the love I felt for her was more than just friendship. I can promise you that I’ll never again let a minute pass where she doesn’t know just how much she means to me.” 

I feel my eyes burn from the tears that have started to pool. Closing them tightly, I take a deep breath and feel something warm spark against my lips. Opening my eyes once more, I’m just in time to see Jon as he pulls back from the tender kiss he’d just given me. 

“You take care, sir,” he says before ending the call and lowering my phone on the chair beside me. 

“What did he say?” 

“Told me that he’d give anything to have your mother back for even a second if it meant he’d be given a chance to see her smile one last time.” Jon grabs his glasses and lifts them off his face, bringing them to rest on the top of his head so he can look into my eyes. “He asked me to promise that I’d never let a day go by without making you smile and ensuring that you know just how amazing you are.” 

I close my eyes another time, letting my emotions consume me. 

“That is a promise I can make without hesitation.” His lips find mine again. Before he can pull away, I grab the back of his neck, taking away his chance. Laying back in the lounger, I yank his body down to mine, and he obliges without hesitation. 

“I love you,” I whisper against his lips, “more and more every day.” 

“Ugh .” A shadow casts over us, and I peek out from beneath Jon to find Missandei standing over us. “You two are so cute that it’s nauseating.” 

“Can you go away and come back in about twenty minutes?” I push against Jon’s chest, and he chuckles. “What?” 

“Is that all it takes?” Missandei challenges him, and I can see the gleam in his eyes. 

“No, but in twenty minutes I’ll have her upstairs, locked away in the bedroom and you’ll be forced to either wait outside our front door or come back after we’re done.” 

“Oh please! She would so choose me over you. _Chicks before dicks_ , you know.” Missandei smiles and flops down on the lounger next to mine, stretching out her legs. She then nudges her sunglasses out of the way and peeks over them.

Jon and I lock eyes, and then he shifts his gaze to Missandei. “I won’t force her to prove you wrong.” Just then his phone rings, and I watch as his muscles flex while he shifts around to gather his phone from his pocket. Missandei still rambles on, but all I focus on is him. Things feel so different this time. After coming to an understanding, we are closer now. I guess the threat of losing someone you can’t imagine your life without can do that to a person. 

He pauses, phone in his hand as he stares down at the screen, and I suddenly feel anxious. His gaze lifts to meet mine, and I swear my stomach does a complete one-eighty inside me. 

“Hello Ygritte,” Jon says as he holds the phone to his ear, never taking his eyes off mine. Reaching out, he links his fingers with mine, needing that connection between us. I remain perfectly still on the outside. Inside, I am a raging ball of irritation, jealousy and so much more. 

Missandei doesn’t help matters when she mumbles the word bitch at my side. If Jon heard her, he doesn’t react. 

“That's good.” With each word he speaks, he keeps his eyes focused on me. I pretend to be unaffected by his ex-girlfriend on the other line, despite the fact that she is struggling with an addiction, but still manage to feel inferior. I have no doubt in my mind that Jon loves me. He struggled when we were apart and I witnessed the hollow look in his eyes each time our gazes connected, but I can’t shake the need to have him all to myself. A feeling of _possession_ consumes me. I don’t want to share him, not even a little bit. “I’m not sure I can.” My heart rate spikes. 

“I’ll talk to Daenerys and let you know on Friday.” I look away because his deep penetrating stare becomes too intense for me. Shifting my gaze to Missandei, she narrows her eyes at me, and I ignore her unspoken question. Why I suddenly feel like I am so tiny and forgettable infuriates me. 

Jon cups my cheek with his palm, and without a second thought, I lean into his touch. His thumb gently skims over my lips. I hate that this simple touch brings tears to my eyes. I hate feeling weak when I should feel secure from Jon’s love. 

The smallest fraction of pressure applied just beneath my chin triggers me to look up just in time to get a soft kiss from Jon. It’s as if he senses that my insecurities are getting the best of me. I force a smile, but it only triggers that frown line between his brows to become even more noticeable.

“I’m glad things are going well for you,” he speaks again, but all he seems to see is me. That should make me feel better. Yet all I focus on is that she has a piece of his attention I selfishly don’t want her to have. It’s incredibly childish of me, I know. 

He ends the call, and I hurry to recover from its effects on me. Only he doesn’t give me a chance as he quickly reassures me that the call was completely innocent. I trust his intentions. I trust him. I just don’t trust Ygritte. 

“She called to tell me that her father came to see her.” Jon places his hands on the lounger on each side of me and moves his body closer. “I called him a couple weeks ago and told him that she was getting help. After all the ups and downs, he was hesitant, but today he showed up for a visit.” 

“That’s good, right?” 

“Yeah.” It still doesn’t seem like he’s said all he needs to say. 

“Is there more?” 

“We’ll talk about it later.” He toys with the string on the side of my bikini bottoms, a playful look forming on his face. Head cocked to the side just slightly, his lips press together in a thin line, even though one corner curls up just enough to indicate a smile trying to escape. “But I do need you to do something for me.” I arch my brow playfully, and for the first time since he got the call from Ygritte, he smiles brightly. “That too, but we’ll save that for later.” 

I pout, and he tugs at my lip with his fingers. 

“I need you to wipe those questioning thoughts from your head.” Sometimes Jon knowing me better than anyone else wasn’t a good thing. 

“Gone,” I confirm with a nod, and he shakes his head in doubt. 

“No, they aren’t, but we’ll work on that.” 

_Note to self: Work on a better poker face._

 

* * *

 

 

**JON**

 

I LOWER MY shorts along with my boxers and leave them in a pile of the floor near my feet. The steam from the shower fogs up the bathroom mirror, leaving heavy moisture hanging in the air. Instantly my body grows sticky from the heat of the room. I wonder for a second how Daenerys could take such a hot shower after spending the afternoon outside in the Kings Landings sun but then her body always seems to run cold. 

I pause, my hand extended out toward the shower curtain that separates me from the perfect woman, still floored by the idea that she and I are an _us_. She is humming along with the radio that plays. Even through the clouded curtain, I can see her slim hips shifting from side to side along with the beat of the song. 

Instead of interrupting her, I lean against the wall and peek in through the small gap of the curtain. Watching her, the way her hands massage her hair, the suds of the shampoo running over her fingers before leaving a long trail down the center of her toned back. She even has that little dip in the center of her back, the one that makes her ass even more delectable. I swear there isn’t a part of Daenerys that’s not absolute perfection. 

“I can feel you watching me,” she says, sounding a bit breathless, not even turning around to face me. She continues as if she hadn’t just caught me creeping on her in silence. 

“I could be happy watching you all day." 

Peeking back over her shoulder, she retorts, “That sounds interesting. I won’t lie. But I'd rather you step inside and wash my back for me.” 

Daenerys and her inability to recognize just how powerful the hold she has on me is something I’ll never understand. She remains oblivious to the fact that she has me completely wrapped around her finger. I'm pretty much putty in her hands, as she has complete control. I have no shame in admitting that. 

I step inside, careful not to slip. My heart races as she turns completely around to face me. Fuck. My knees feel weak every damn time I witnessed her like this. _Hot. Wet. Naked. Free._ I slide my palm over her hip and around to her back before I pull her body closer to mine. Her hard nipples against my chest and the wet heat from her body are so inviting. 

“You’re right,” I whisper just before I dip my head lower and brush my lips over hers. “This is so much better than watching. There’s nothing that compares to feeling your body pressed to mine.” 

I hold out my casted hand that is wrapped in a bag, the sound of the plastic or even the way it feels slightly dampening the mood. I hate not being able to hold her up, pin her hands above her head with both of mine, or grip her hips both at the same time. 

Daenerys’s eyes flutter shut, her head tilts back, causing her to open her neck to me, as I gently rub over her back with my fingertips. She consumes me, leaving me feeling crippled by her beauty. _Every. Single. Time._ It doesn’t matter what she is wearing or how messed up her hair may be. _Daenerys is and will always be my everything._

“That feels nice,” she whispers softly, interrupting my thoughts. With her lips parted and her face lax, the scar on her eyebrow stands out more. Pressing a kiss to that very spot, I recall the day of the accident, and how close I’d come to losing her too. Her mother’s death left us all feeling empty for far too long, but I know had I lost Daenerys, it would have broken me. 

“How is it possible to wake up each day only to fall in love with the same person over and over again?” 

“Listen to you, hot firefighter, getting all cheesy on me.” _Hot firefighter?_ My ego gives a virtual high-five and I can’t help but grin. Daenerys slides her hands upward over my stomach and onto my chest. “Should I be concerned that you’re getting soft on me?” 

“There is nothing soft about me, sweetheart,” I grind out, shifting my body so my very hard chest and even harder cock are now pressed into her. “I bet it is hard to think now, Daenerys.” I apply just enough pressure against her while I flex my hips forward. She bites her lip, trying to hide the moan that escapes her, which I’ll take as a yes to my hard response, but she is a moment too late. “Turn around, beautiful.” 

My body has already begun to tremble as she very seductively swivels around. She needs no guidance when she immediately arches her back and parts her legs invitingly. “Could you be any more perfect?” I growl the words, suddenly feeling like a starved man. “You’re gonna be the death of me, Daenerys.” 

“But what a way to go,” she purrs. Wiggling her hips just enough to drive me mad, I fist my throbbing cock. “You gonna do this?” she challenges, “Or do you plan to keep stalling?” She looks back over her shoulder while she wiggles her tight ass against me. 

“Always the smartass.” 

“You know it.” She shimmies against me and I push forward. A gasp leaves her, her palm slapping hard against the shower wall as my name falls from her lips. 

Gratification in the form of a triumphant satisfied smile covers my mouth as I grip her hip to gain the leverage I need. Nothing has ever felt this amazing, and I know it is all due to the woman at my side. I am addicted to the woman who is my world. Daenerys is the puzzle piece that completes me. She gives me all the motivation I need to be a better man. For Daenerys, I want to be the perfect one. _The only one._

I look down to the place between us, watching as she slowly rotates her hips, my large cock pushing into her deeply and fitting perfectly, before she shifts forward once more. Soft whimpers and sighs of pleasure fill the small space of our shower. _Jesus. My knees feel weak._

I let her lead, let her take from me what she wants, what she needs. In turn, I get more than I’ve ever bargained for— _every part of Daenerys_.

 

***

“EARLIER YOU SAID that there was something we’d talk about later,” her voice sounds with hesitation and I hate that I was the one to place those insecurities she still felt there. “When Ygritte called, you said her father had gone to visit her, but that there was more.” 

Her back is to me, my casted arm tucked beneath the pillow under her head, and my other arm slung over her hip. She doesn’t look back at me when she asks the question, and that alone eats at me. 

“Hey.” 

“Hmm?” Again. Nothing but the back of her head. 

“Look at me, Daenerys.” I wait for her to give me what I need. 

Her body shifts around in my hold, one deep breath after another, before she peeks over her shoulder at me. “Keep going.” I lift my arm off her hip, motioning for her to keep rotating around. A small trace of a smile tugs at her lips just before she continues around until her front is firmly pressed to mine. “Now that’s much better.” The long silver wave of hair that has fallen from the wild array piled on top her head partially covers one eye. Unable to stop myself, I twist my finger around it, coiling it, then giving it a gentle tug. “Whenever you look at me, it seems to make things better.” 

“Again with the cheesy lines, Mr. Romance?” 

“Cheesy,” I reply with a kiss to the tip of her nose, “but true. You bring out my romantic side, Daenerys. You.” 

With a skim of my nose over the side of hers, I close my eyes when hers close too. For a few seconds, we stay just like that. I pull from her the strength I need as I hug her body close. 

“She asked me to come for a visit,” I inform her, immediately feeling Daenerys tense in my arms, “and she asked that I bring you too.” 

Before I get the chance to prepare for her withdrawal, Daenerys leans back so that she can look at me openly. “Why would she want me to come?” 

“She knows how in love with you I am.” The hardness in her expression softens. “I’ve never hidden from her how I feel about you. She also knows how hard it was for me to lose you and be without you too." 

“How would she know that?” Her brows wrinkle, her forehead creasing with concern as she holds my gaze.

“Because she’s called me at least once a week since she’s been in treatment and not once have I not mentioned you.” 

“So what?” She looks down toward my chest, her fingers tracing over my collarbone and along the base of my neck. “The two of you are best friends now?” 

“I only have one best friend, babe, and that's you.” She lifts her eyes and they lock with mine. “Before her dad came to visit, she didn’t have anyone else to talk to.”

She nods, but I can see the discomfort written all over her face. 

“I adore you,” I whisper. “Love isn’t even a strong enough word to describe what I feel for you. I’d do anything for you, and that includes cutting all ties with Ygritte, now that she has—” 

“No,” Daenerys interrupts. “I trust you.” 

“But you don’t trust her.” Her eyes shift downward again like she feels shame. 

“Does that make me shallow?” 

“Hell no.” 

She smiled at my reply. “If the tables were turned, I’d be unbelievably jealous too.” Laughter escapes from her lips. “That’s why I’ll definitely be by your side during the one and only visit if you decide to attend one.” 

“This will be your first time seeing her since she checked in?” 

“And I won’t be going on this visit unless you're with me.” Seeing Ygritte is the least of my worries. I meant it when I said that I was just helping someone in need. There was never an ulterior motive. Any feelings I held for Ygritte have been long gone for some time. At this point, it is hard to consider that I could’ve ever held feelings for any other woman than Daenerys. My heart and soul were and are in her hands. _Daenerys was, is, and will always be my only. It’s always been Daenerys._

“I’ll go,” Daenerys says, swallowing a deep breath. “But only because I need to ensure she’s not after my man.” 

“She’s not,” I confirm as I kiss her cheek, the corner of her mouth and her jaw. “But even if she were, it wouldn’t matter, because I’m all yours. You have me, Daenerys. All of me is all of yours.” 

“Yes. You are mine, Jon, as I am yours too,” she states as she nudges me by pushing her hands against my chest. I roll back and watch as she crawls over me, one leg firmly planted on either side. _“And I’m not willing to share.”_

I understand what this is; it’s Daenerys showing herself and me that she is in control. If she needs to dominate, if she needs me to lay back and give her free rein, I am more than happy to do just that. 

“You’ll never have to share me, baby.” I look up at her, just as she lifts her nightshirt up over her head, and her perfect breasts come into full view. _“Do some damage,”_ I challenge as I hold my hands out to my sides, offering her a cocky lift of my brows. “And I’ll just lay back and take everything you’re willing to give.” 

“What if I want to give you everything?” 

“Then I’ll be the luckiest guy around.” She doesn’t say another word as she lowers her body over mine, her warm heat to my hardness, as she covers my lips with her own. Fuck, this feels so good being inside Daenerys with her body perfectly fitting mine. I fucking love this woman and everything about her. 

Daenerys is it for me. 

_She is everything I want and everything need._


	21. "I know how truly blessed I am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last one..
> 
> I already have the next story but I don't know if I will post it..  
> as you can see from my past stories I kinda like drama...and the next one is kind of heavy with it.  
> So i have a doubt if you guys will like it.. I will post a small part of my new story by the end of this chapter so you can drop some comment..

**JON**

 

“ONE MORE CLIP and you’ll be freed.” I look over to my left and find Daenerys with a smile as she stares at my casted hand. We’d been counting the days until I got the thing off and the day has finally come. “There you go.” The doctor pulls away what is left of the cast and immediately I start to flex my hand. The tingling sensation that runs through my wrist and into my fingers aches, but I welcome the pain along with the freedom.

“Things are looking really good, Jon.” My doctor sits on the stool and lifts my file as he starts to scan over the paperwork. “Your scans show everything has healed the way it should and the notes from physical therapy show that you’ve gained full strength and mobility in your arm as well as your shoulder.”

I listen to him, but only faintly. My mind is going over all the things I’ll be able to do now. Each one of them involves the sweet silver blonde that is still smiling as she nods her head to whatever the doctor says.

Twenty minutes later, we’re walking out of my doctor's office, her hand linked with mine as I lead her toward my car. Once she is tucked inside, I close the door and jog around the front, crawling in myself. Reaching over the center console, I firmly grip the back of her neck and pull her toward me, sealing her lips with a kiss.

“You sure about this?” I watch her eyes, waiting for even the slightest amount of hesitation. We’ve talked over our upcoming visit with Ygritte for close to a week. She has repeatedly ensured me that she is okay with it, but I still question if she’s only pushing herself because she thinks this is something I need.

“She’s looking forward to seeing you.” I notice the way Daenerys immediately looks down, but I seek her chin with my thumbs and slowly nudge her upward.

“Honest?”

“Always,” I reply and wait for her to continue.

“I guess I’m still confused as to why she would want me there.”

“The only way for either of us to know that is to go there and find out.” I’ll admit I am a little curious myself.

We spend the drive across town with our hands linked together on my thigh. With one hand on the wheel, I continue to slide my thumb over the palm of her hand with my other. Sitting in the passenger seat next to me with her head laid back against the headrest, she finally relaxes as her eyes now hold a soothing look.

That look dissolves the minute I pull into the parking lot of the New Found Hope Clinic. I don’t push any further because I’ve given her so many opportunities to decline and back out. She insists that she’s okay, that this is fine.

While walking toward the front entrance and when waiting to be led toward the visitor's room, Daenerys attempts to pull her hand from mine multiple times. I refuse to break that connection I have with her, the one way I can assure Daenerys that I am with her, that we are a team.

The room we are placed in has various tables, each about five to ten feet apart. There is one massive wall lined with darkened windows that I assume is their way of watching patients and visitors during visits.

The room is empty of any decorations with only two televisions on both ends of the room. A few other visitors sit at the other tables around us murmuring amongst themselves. The entire atmosphere appears cold, stale even.

The sound of a door clicking and then a distant beeping gain my attention just as patients enter the room. They are all wearing similar clothing absent of ties, belts, or sharp inanimate objects. A knot forms in my stomach as I picture padded rooms with patients locked inside of them.

I’m just about to stand up and tell Daenerys this entire thing is a bad idea when I get a glimpse of Ygritte following closely behind a man twice her size. She still appears so frail and brittle, but there is brightness to her now that she lacked the day I’d dropped her off here.

She notices me first and offers a smile just before her gaze shifts to my left and remains there for a few passing seconds. Daenerys’s hand again tightens around mine just before she tries to tug away. In response, I grip her tighter, slowly sliding our joined hands onto my thigh.

“Stop trying to let go,” I whisper and gain no response from her. But she doesn’t let go either.

*****  
**

**DAENERYS**

I CAN’T LOOK AWAY, though I try. It is like I’m in a trance with my eyes glued to the woman walking toward us. I imagined something so different in my mind. I expected to see long flowing hair and a bright smile because Ygritte had always been attractive. It was her attitude that made her ugly in my opinion.

But Ygritte doesn’t look anything like the pretty woman Jon dated. In fact, she is the exact opposite of the way I remember her. In place is a shell of the former Ygritte. Her once shiny red and perfect hair is now shorter, fragile, and so oily that it looks as if it’s been days since it was last washed. Dark circles reside beneath her eyes and red blotches paint her cheeks that appear to be covered with acne. She is free of makeup, but there is a desolate look about her that concealer won’t even hide.

Suddenly I feel guilty for the ill thoughts I’ve had. This isn’t the woman she once was; I can see that now. She is one of desperation, and there is definitely shyness, reluctance about her that she’s never had before.

“I’m glad you decided to come,” says Ygritte, surprising me. She hasn’t even taken the time yet to greet Jon. “I was actually worried you wouldn’t show.” She offers me a kind smile, one that’s genuine, and my stomach tightens with even further guilt. While watching, she appears on guard as if she’s already prepared for me to be cold and callus.

“You look like you’re doing better.” Jon breaks the momentary silence, and I’m finally able to look away from her baby brown eyes.

_This was better?_

“I feel so much better,” Ygritte insists as she sits down on the chair opposite us and toys with the sleeve of her shirt. Just beneath the hem, along her wrist, is a faint reddened scar that instantly brings tears to my eyes. This scar is a sure sign of her struggles, just further evidence that she hasn’t lived the last couple of years in bliss. Remorse sets in again.

Suddenly, I want to apologize to both Jon and her. An internal battle wages inside me. I am too torn between the idea of her sadness and the knowledge that—despite her hard times—she is still the woman who was once been intimate with the guy I love.

“You two really do look good together.” I lift my gaze away from her wrist to meet hers once more, realizing that my facial expression doesn’t conceal my shock. “I think I always knew in some way that the two of you would end up together.”

I look at Jon, only to find him smiling at me, as if to say _‘see I told you so.’_

“You’ve got a good guy in him,” declares Ygritte as I refocus my attention back on her. Jon still holds my hand firmly in his, providing continuous comfort to me even though I tried to fight his hand away many times earlier. “But you know that already. I think you’ve always known that Jon was yours.” A settled smile remains on Ygritte’s face, not forced or fake, which makes her words meaningful. “I want to apologize to you and thank you.”

Shock registers as she speaks directly to me.

“Before when I was around,” she says, looking down for a second, like she feels ashamed to even bring up that time. Jon squeezes my hand as I continue to watch her. “Even when I was terrible to you, you never treated me differently. I knew you wanted to, but you were nothing but accepting, classy and strong. You tolerated me, and that meant turning a blind eye when I acted like I was so much better than you. The truth is, Daenerys, _I was always envious of you_.”

“What?” It is the first time I speak since she walked in the room but I can’t stop myself. What could she possibly be envious of concerning me?

“You have such an amazing spirit. You see the good in people even when they don’t see it in themselves. Jon does too. I think that’s one of the many reasons why the two of you are perfect for each other.” _Oh Ygritte, I didn’t expect your words to bury themselves in my heart._

I nod as I register shock from her kind words and her confirmation that Jon and I are perfect together. It’s almost too much to take. Nothing about this visit is what I expected.

“I’m sorry for all the awful ways I treated you, and most of all I’m sorry for any trouble I may have caused between you and Jon. I didn’t know where else to turn, but when he told me about the two of you, I wasn’t surprised.” She shifts her gaze to him, but only for a couple seconds, before she looks back at me. “The way his face lit up with just the mention of your name, it was the same look he’d get before when I used to listen to him tell stories of your childhood together.”

My heart feels heavy but I have to ask: “Why are you telling me this, Ygritte?”

“Because I want you to see what I see—then and now.” Her eyes shine with unshed tears, and suddenly I realize that I am right. She still holds feelings for him, but she’s accepted that he’s moved on with me. "I want you to realize just how in love he is with you, how you’re all he sees. Even when he’s helping someone else, me or anyone for that matter, I truly believe that subconsciously he does it with you in mind.”

“He doesn’t have to prove that to me.” I’ve always known that beneath his cocky exterior he has an astonishing soul.

“He never did. You two have always been so in sync.” She shrugs her shoulders and glance between Jon and me. “Even when you didn’t see it, everyone around you could. I know that you probably came here today thinking that in some way I would be attempting to win him back, but it’s not that. I just needed a friend,” she softly says as her lower lip trembles. “I needed help. Besides, anyone that attempted to come between what the two of you had or have would be only left lonely and disappointed. _You two are a team; you have been since you were kids. The bond you share is beyond breakable.”_

I feel my own tears begin to form.

“Thank you,” I whisper with a shaky voice. “I hope everything turns out well for you, Ygritte, and you find your own happiness.”

“My problems started long before my addiction. But I'm working on those too.”

*******

“YOU’VE BEEN QUIET,” Jon states as he sits down in the empty space beside me on the couch. I look over to find him with a concerned look on his face. “You okay? I shake my head, still trying to make sense out of all the things racing around in my mind. “Talk to me,” he sounds slightly panicked.

Unable to stop myself, I tuck my legs underneath me and use them as leverage to crawl over his lap. He, of course, only widens his arms, welcoming me without hesitation. “I’m sorry.” I wrap my arms around him and bury my face into the crook of his neck. “I’m so, so sorry.” My chest feels tight as he holds me in return. He kisses my forehead, my cheek and that space just below my ear.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”

Immediately I start nodding before affirming, “Yes I do. I was awful about this entire thing.” I lift my head so that I can see his face. “I jumped to conclusions automatically, I assumed the worst. Even though you said there was nothing I still—” He stops me by cupping my face in his hands and pulling me toward him. Taking away any chance of my continuing, he presses his lips to mine.

A soft whimper escapes me as I relax against him. “That time has passed,” he whispers.

“But I—”

“It’s done, Daenerys.” Jon looks me directly in the eyes, a moment of silence passing between us.“The entire thing could’ve been handled differently. But now all I want is for the two of us to move on. Together.”

I nod, because honestly, I can’t speak. I feel so many things toward him all at once that I’m utterly overcome with emotion. The way he looks at me without judgment, almost like I am flawless, makes me feel as though I am.

“All I wanna focus on now is us. Where we go from here. Nothing but us.” His thumb traces over the corner of my mouth, tickling my lower lip. “You mean the world to me, Daenerys. You were created for me, baby. It’s always been you.” My heart races, pulse thumping so rapidly, and I feel dizzy from its effects.

“I love everything about you,” I confess, “but the greatest thing is this.” I place my hand over his heart and watch him swallow hard, his throat bobbing, just before he places his hand over mine. “You are so unbelievably selfless as is your compassion for others. Even though I know it’s the man you are, it still takes my breath away.”

“You take my breath away.”

My heart is full, my love is great, and if I spend the rest of my life feeling the things I do at this very moment, _I know how truly blessed I am._

 

* * *

  **JON**

IT NEVER SEEMS to fail that every time I sit back and just watch Daenerys, I am left feeling elated. It is still so hard to believe that she is actually mine. Her beauty . . . her grace . . . it’s astonishing.

She says I am selfless but she is the selfless one who’s led me to be the man I am today. Daenerys is the trigger inside me, the reason for my desire to live life to the fullest. She gives me the drive to succeed and the strength to overcome any obstacle before me. She’s always given me these things but one gift stands above the rest. The biggest gift she’s ever given me is the one that matters most: _her heart._

The memories we share, they didn’t just begin from the point when things shifted for us. We were and are lucky enough to have a lifetime of them. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We share them all; we are bound by them. Daenerys has always been my rock. She is the first person I need when things aren’t right and the one person I long to my share thoughts with whether positive or negative.

As I sit in a chair that is hell on my back, leaving my ass numb from the hard surface, I can’t even begin to describe the pride I feel. Her dad sits at my side, the both of us staring up at the gorgeous girl holding her diploma in her hand. _The woman who is all mine._ Just as she steps away from the pedestal, she glances in our direction, and I swear I feel the air rush from my lungs like I’ve been tackled by a linebacker. Her smile is breathtaking, one that still leaves me weak in the knees.

“She’s as beautiful as her mother was on the day I’d met her.” I look over at her father to find him staring up at his daughter, his eyes glimmering with pride. “It’s like living that moment all over again. The day I looked up on stage and saw Rhaella staring back at me.A smile just as bright, excitement pouring off her. Rhaella had so many dreams, so many things she wanted to see and to do, but Daenerys was her biggest dream of all. She wanted to be a mom more than anything, and though it breaks my heart that she’s not here to see this day, I can almost feel her here. The pride she’d have for our daughter.” I know her father is proud, but this moment is also bittersweet. He longs for his wife, his soulmate, the one that he’d been robbed of too soon. Still, her father remains happy that his daughter has turned into the woman he and his late wife always hoped she would.

I understand what he feels. Just the idea of losing Daenerys makes me crazy with fear. I still haven’t been able to find the right words to describe exactly what I feel for her. Sure, I tell her I love her often. I repeat how much I adore her every chance I get. I guess if I had to try and depict our love, it would be a deep and forever love of soulmates. But it’s more. _So much more._

She offers us a little wave, a sweet tilt of her head, as she does a little excited shimmy with her hips before she walks off the stage. I smile right alongside her father. She’s done it. She’s gotten her degree and could now move forward with what she’s always dreamed of doing. I can picture her now, in her element, offering the best care she can provide to every animal in need.

She tells me over and over how big my heart is, but Daenerys has a heart to match mine. She has so much compassion and is truly incredible. Her beauty runs so deep that it’s stunning to watch it unfold in everything she does. My girl is the full package, and every single time I look at her, I feel like I’ve been knocked on my ass.

“I know I checked out on her for far too long,” her father confesses as I look over and find him watching me closely. “I wasn’t there for her like I should’ve been and that was wrong of me. But I think I always knew that she’d been safe.” His eyes glaze over with unshed tears. “She’s always had you, Jon. When she was younger, I used to say there was no man out there good enough for my girl. But the truth is that there’s only one man out there good enough for her. _You, son. You are her forever._ ”

I nod because I’m too choked up to speak. His acceptance means more than I could ever express.

*****  
**

**DAENERYS**

I STAND AT THE counter in the kitchen, my back toward the dining room. I hear Jon moving around the space, only I refuse to turn around. Instead, I focus on the dough, kneading it over and over. Tears fill my eyes as I envision my mother at my side, as she’d been many times before while we cooked together. It was one of the many things she’d taught me while growing up. She’d place a step stool beside her, just tall enough for me to reach the counter space at her side. Whatever she was doing, it didn’t matter. She’d made me a part of it. Of course, she’d never allowed me to work with a knife until I was much older, but she managed to make sure I felt involved.

Her homemade noodles were one of the many things she’d passed on to me. I could almost hear her in my ear, telling me just how to fold the dough, kneading, and curling. Sometimes I would close my eyes, and it helped to focus on the voice in my head. It made me feel close to her, help ease the ache inside from her absence. It was strange really, but sometimes it was hard to imagine that she was gone. I hated that she was missing out on so many things in my life. I wanted to be able to share everything with her. I wanted to ask for advice and so many times. I’d longed to hear her tell me she loved me.

“Can I help?” The sound of Jon’s voice jerks me back to the present as he steps up behind me. With one arm on either side of me, he presses his front firmly against my back.

“I’m ready to cut the dough,” I whisper hoarsely, but he doesn’t push me to talk about what I am feeling. He knows. He always knows.

He also knows how to soothe me too.

His palms slide along my forearms before they reach my wrists and then cover my hands. I close my eyes, getting lost in the way he makes me feel every time he touches me. He makes it next to impossible to focus on anything other than him. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?” He asks, though I sense he already knows what I mean.

“You make me feel like nothing outside of this room exists,” I inform him, letting my head rest back against his chest where immediately his lips find my temple. “Like we’re the only ones who matter.”

“In a perfect world, that’s true.” I feel his lips as they curve into a smile before he kisses me softly. “All I need is for you to be happy.”

“You’ll bore of me eventually, Jon.”

“I’ll never get bored with you,” he ensures me, kissing along my cheek, over my jaw and down the contour of my neck. “Every day, I swear, I find just one more reason to love you.” My stomach flips with anticipation from his movements and his words. “One more reason to adore you. Bored would never be an option when it comes to you, Daenerys.”

I push off the counter and turn within his hold. Looking up at him, I find that look of love and longing in his eyes I’ve witnessed often over the last few months. That same one that makes me feel like I am all he ever needs to be happy. “I love you.” I’ve said it before but not as often as I should. Before he gets the chance to reply, I cup the back of his neck and pull him down to me. Our lips touch, the kiss starting off slow and sensual. I suddenly get it. I now know what he means when he tells me that those three words aren’t strong enough to describe what he feels for me. What I feel for him, too, is so much more than anything I’ve ever experienced.

“Thank you for always being by my side,” Doubt and regret reside in his eyes. “Even then, Jon, you were still there. You’re still here, right here with me always. You’ve always been deep in heart and always will be.” I place my hand over my heart to show him exactly what I mean. “You’ve always been the person to hold me up. The person who’d catch me when I’d fall. My mother knew that and adored you too,” I say with a shaky voice, and he instantly places his forehead to mine as he closes his eyes tightly. He experienced that loss with me, and felt it too. “She always used to say, ‘Daenerys, you better snatch that boy up before someone else beats you to it.’”

“Nah,” he says, and I lean back to find him wearing a big smile, “I was just passing the time until you figured out I was more than just your friend.”

“Is that right?”

“You don’t wanna know the things I thought about when I looked at you.” I arch a brow, and he chuckles. “But in my defense, you were the one that always walked around here wearing those short little bottoms and tank tops. Hell, you still wear those little things. Only now, I can pull them off of you and show you what I think of your sexy clothes.”

“I did that on purpose.” He now gives me a questioning stare. “I knew you were watching.”

“So much time wasted,” he declares and shakes his head.

“Let’s not waste any more.” Using the leverage I have, I wrap my hands around the back of his neck and pull his lips to mine. The second I feel his hands cup my ass, I hop up and wrap my legs around his waist. Never once do we break our kiss as he turns around and walks us toward our bedroom.

As he lowers me to the bed, he stands over me, looking down. His hungry eyes scan over my body. “All I see is you.” I met his warm gaze with my own, and the intensity in his eyes make my chest tightens. “All I ever see is you.”

Without warning, he moves over me and instantly I am lost.

_Lost in him._

_Lost in our love._

_Lost in my forever._

 

* * *

**JON**

I sit outside 4 Legged Friends while I stare up at the colorful sign displayed proudly on the front of the building. Less than a month ago, Daenerys and Missandei opened their own Veterinary clinic. They both decided after working a little more than a year for local vets that they were ready to venture out on their own.

The last year has been a whirlwind, for both of us. We’ve both taken off in our careers, and everything was falling into place.Sitting on a bench, I wait for my signal from Missandei. My heart races as I rehearse what I want to say over and over in my mind. I contemplate adding something new before it finally hits me that no amount of rehearsing will prepare me for what I plan to do.

Missandei walks past the front window, giving me the cheesiest thumbs up I’d ever witnessed, indicating it is a go. _Show time, baby._ She is almost as excited as I am, a crazy ball of energy that girl is.

With one final deep breath, I stand from the bench and walk toward the front doors of the clinic. It is when I reach out for the handle that I notice my hands trembling, and not because I’m nervous or even scared. I’m anxious to begin this next chapter of our lives.

The bell above the door rattles as I step inside where a few people wait with their pets in hand. Missandei nudges her head toward the closed door to the left. “She’s almost done.”

Not even a minute later, the door opens and out steps a young guy leading a little puppy on a leash. I smile, noticing how he looks back at Daenerys as she follows him out. Two years ago, I would’ve been jealous of the way he was eyeing my girl. Now, I know I have no reason to be. _Daenerys is mine.She has always been mine._

“We’ll see you again in a couple weeks for Jasper’s last puppy visit.” Daenerys bends down to pet the pup’s head, and I watch the way the guy’s eyes follow her movements. Just then her gaze lifts and lands on me. As always, once we lock eyes, we are all each other can see.

“Hello, handsome,” she nearly coos and my heart is seized, the ache that follows always managing to leave me breathless for a few seconds. “Nice surprise.”

I sense the guy now watching me, but frankly, I can’t take my eyes off my beautiful woman. “Missed my girl.”

That smile of hers still knocks me on my ass.

“Wes, let me get your next visit set up.”

Missandei holds her hand out to grab for the paper in Daenerys’s hands, and I step back, allowing the guy to move past me. Still, Daenerys continues to watch me.

“Thought maybe I could take you to dinner.” None of this is going as planned, but with Daenerys, I don’t need a plan. Every second with her is meaningful.

“Mmm . . . where?”

“Someplace nice,” I say, stepping closer and holding my hand out for hers. “We need to celebrate.”

“Celebrate?” Her brows crinkle in confusion, which makes her forehead wrinkle. “What are we celebrating?”

Instead of answering her, I kneel before her and witness the very second it registers in her mind what I am doing. Reaching around to my back pocket, I pull out the ring box.

 _“Our love.”_  I feel my heart race, and my throat grow scratchy. _“Our life.”_ All movement around us stops.

_“Every day that I wake up and find you next to me, I feel like I’ve been given one more gift. Your smile makes everything better. Your touch soothes the worst of fears. Your love is everything. I wanna spend the rest of life feeling these things day after day. I never wanna go a minute without you by my side.”_

I can see the glossiness as it forms in her eyes. _“I love you. I cherish you. I need you.”_

“I love you too,” she whispers hoarsely and one single tear runs over her cheek.

 _“You’re my best friend and the love of my life. I want to spend every moment of our lives showing you how truly amazing you are. Will you marry me, Daenerys?”_ Tears form in her eyes as she starts to nod. I flip open the box and watch as her eyes grew wide. _“You’re my safe place. My world. My everything. You still bring me to my knees, beautiful girl, and I know that’ll never change. We are meant to be. It’s always been you, Daenerys. I can’t wait to officially make you mine forever.”_

Lifting the ring from the box, I slide it over her finger just before she falls to her knees and tightly wraps her arms around my neck. Clapping fills the room and I look to my right to see Missandei smiling brightly. The guy with the puppy looks like he’s swallowed a bug or sat on a thumbtack. I won’t lie—I feel like pounding on my chest triumphantly.

_That’s right, she’s mine, buddy. She will always be mine._

Looking up at me, Daenerys confesses in a quiet voice, “I have a secret.”

Immediately, I lean back so that I can see her face. All kinds of shit rolls around in my mind. “You gonna tell me?”

“I was gonna tell you tonight,” she says with a smile, “but the idea of waiting now seems unfair.” Silence passes over us and my chest grows tight.

“Daenerys?”

She laughs softly, before biting her lip to stop it. “I guess tonight we have two things to celebrate.” Again she grows silent, and I am about to lose my shit when she drops three words that change our life forever. **_“I. Am. Pregnant”_**

Daenerys renders me speechless with that bomb, a blissful bomb that makes me smile widely. _Holy shit! I am going to be a father.And the woman of my dreams agreed to marry me!_ It was a perfect day, one that I know I’ll always remember. It was the day I’d been gifted everything I could have ever possibly wanted. I can’t help but pinch myself to see if I’m dreaming.

*******

**DAENERYS**

 

“It’s amazing just how much she looks like him.” Missandei and I sit at the kitchen table staring into the living room. Jon sits in the recliner with our daughter resting against his bare chest. I know how she feels because that very spot is one of my favorites too.

“He’s like Mr. Mom.” She laughs, and that gains Jon’s attention. He looks over at us and his eyes lock on mine. I can feel the love he holds for me.

“He is,” I say without looking away from him. “He’s an amazing daddy.”

“And Rhaella already has him wrapped tightly around her little finger.”

Oh yes, she does, but the bond he has with our daughter doesn’t surprise me. Jon is by far the gentlest soul. He was meant to be a father, and I knew before she was born that she’d be the luckiest little girl. He loves us both unconditionally and without pause. He’d do anything for his girls and not a day goes by that we don’t feel consumed by his love.

He is so much more than our best friend.

**_He is our everything._ **

 

**THE END**

 

 

* * *

 

PART OF CHAPTER ONE OF THE NEW STORY...

**"MEANT TO BE KEPT"**

 

Daenerys flew down the stairs and ripped open the front door. She beamed when she saw the bright June sun reflecting off Jon’s obnoxious yellow truck as it sped up the long driveway, dust clouds rolling behind the tires. Her feet were fixed until he parked in front of the house. As the driver’s door opened, she bolted down the porch steps and ran the few feet to the truck, launching herself into his arms before he could even shut the door. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

But even her overwhelming excitement couldn’t disguise the change in him. Instead of enfolding his body around hers as he had for so many years, his back stayed straight. His strong arms held her loosely, not pulling her close.

Daenerys leaned her head back, hands braced on his shoulders. The expression on his face had the same effect on her as a dip in the lake on a January day. “Jon?”

He gently pried her off him and made sure both her feet were on the ground before he spoke. “Dany, we need to talk.”

Her throat closed at his tone. She took a step back and then another. “No, Jon. No, we don’t need to talk. You need to hold me and tell me you missed me and we need to go in the house and make up for the past two days, but we definitely don’t need to talk.”

Jon closed the truck door and shoved his hands in the pockets of his khaki shorts with a heavy sigh. He dropped his gaze to the ground. “Come on, Dany. Let’s go inside.”

Daenerys’s stomach churned, and she held her arms around her midsection. Her mind flew in a million directions. They had been married for nearly eight years, and in all that time she hadn’t had a single doubt or concern about their relationship— _until now._

_He’s sick._

_The company took a massive hit._

_Robb had an accident._

An avalanche of worst case scenarios flooded her mind. The one person she needed was standing just a few feet in front of her but seemed miles away. She wanted nothing more than to reach out to him, but everything about him from his voice to his posture screamed “closed.” Something he’d never been before.

“Dany,” his voice softened a fraction, and he put a gentle hand on her back, “let’s go inside and sit down. I really don’t want to talk to you out here.”

She allowed him to steer her toward the house and up the porch steps, unable to slow her racing mind. A nervous laugh bubbled up as they crossed the threshold. “Jon, you’re really scaring me.”

He stood near the far corner of the gray overstuffed couch and gestured for her to sit down. She couldn’t remember ever feeling this overwhelming sense of trepidation in Jon’s presence. He had been her safe place since the first time his lips touched hers a month into her freshman year of college.

After a moment’s hesitation, she finally sat down. When he sat next to her, he gently wrapped his hand around hers and pulled it lightly until it rested on his knee. For a brief second, her heart lifted at his touch. But then the complete absence of warmth registered and she felt her heart breaking all over again. “Please, Jon.” Her voice cracked. “Just tell me.”

Jon nodded, his eyes fixed on their joined hands. “Dany, I did something.” The words came out in a rush, and when he finally looked up, his dark gray eyes were tortured. His grip on her hand tightened infinitesimally. “Before I say anything else, you need to know _I didn’t sleep with **her** …_”

 

 

****SOOOO....any COMMENTS???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME TILL THE LAST CHAPTER..
> 
> drop some comments if you are kind of interested for my new story so I can decide whether to post it or not...
> 
> THANK YOU AGAIN AND GOOD-LUCK TO OUR QUEEN ON TONIGHT'S EPISODE..
> 
>  
> 
> DRACARYS TO KINGS LANDING!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥


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